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Posted by on Mar 8, 2020 in Blog, Essays, Politics | 75 comments

Here’s Why I’m Donating to the Trump Campaign (and You Should, Too)

 

 

I urge readers to follow my lead and gum up the Trump campaign machine with a real contribution that will help make America great again.

 

Today, I’m writing a check to the Trump re-election campaign.

I’m making this check out to “Donald J. Trump for President” and signing my real name.

Then, I’ll stick an envelope in the mail and send it to Trump’s re-election headquarters in New York.

No, I haven’t lost my mind.

No, I haven’t flipped over to the dark side.

No, I’m not supporting Trump.

But I do want to make a contribution, in my own way.  I intend to make sure the Trump campaign and countless affiliated Republican political organizations will latch on to my “generosity,” waste vast sums of money mailing me free stuff, sending me bogus political questionnaires, and sapping up their reserves to beg me to donate more.

You see, I’m sending the 2020 Trump re-election campaign a check in the amount of “$.01.”  That’s right.  One cent.

 

Let’s Do the Math

 

This an act of cold calculation, my friends. It’s dubiously designed to invest a tiny amount of money in order to make the evil beast bleed far more in funds.

My investment in this project amounts to 55 cents — the cost of one USPS stamp — plus 1 cent for the donation.  Then, there’s the expense of a personal check and a simple envelope.

What do I expect for my 56 cents and an envelope?  I know exactly what to expect because — believe it or not — I once worked in Republican Party fundraising, years ago.  I know how their game is played.  I know the score.

 

The Name of the Game is “Caging”

 

It’s called “caging.”  What an appropriate term applied to the Trump Administration.

What happens is this — my envelope gets opened by a third-party processor which collects checks and then enters the names of all campaign donors into a computer database.  What — you think there are paid staffers on the 15th Floor at Trump Tower doing data entry?  Think again.  Bulk mail gets trucked someplace much cheaper and then processed.  That’s the way it works with large political operations.  The checks and information are caged.

So, my name eventually gets recorded, which is required by federal law.  Someone working for close to minimum wager for the contractor spends no more than a few seconds adding me to the vast Trump army of deplorables.  Then, another office flunky down the assembly line will process my check.  Oh, my check will get cashed — for sure.

Bingo!  Success.  Mission accomplished.

Now, I’m on the inside.  I’m officially a Trump donor!

 

So, What Happens Next?

 

Sometime later, my name ends up on every Republican hit list.  Elections come with postal bombardment.  When Trump gets the party nomination — I’ll get mail.  During the campaign — I’ll get more mail.  Later, every Republican candidate who buys the “Trump donor list” will blow even more money trying to squeeze blood out of this Socialist turnip.  They’ll be hounding me for more money until the end of democracy.

This is certain.  I know, because I already get bombarded with Trump trash.  Why not make them spend even more.

Doing the math, what this means is that in the coming years, Trump and the Republican Party will likely invest 100-times more money than I initially donated to their evil cause.  My modest investment-donation will cost them far more than they will ever receive.  It’s a simple, but effective means of protest.

It’s death by a thousand paper cuts.  It’s playing dirty but legal.  It’s how big corporations kill lawsuits by smaller businesses — paperwork them to death.  Exhaust their resources.  It’s not a pretty way to win, but it’s still a win.  And you might not win, but you cause enough damage to the evil system (h/T Patrick Day).

 

Gumming Up the Trump Works

 

Now, imagine thousands of good Americans doing the same thing.  Sending tiny donations of just a cent or two.  Call it “gumming up the works.”

I urge all anti-Trumpers to do exactly the same.  Donate a small amount and mail them a check.  Even if 1,000 good citizens do this, that means Trump raises perhaps $10.  After all, 1,000 pennies is just ten bucks.  But the Trump campaign and subsequent Republican candidates who buy the sucker list will blow tens of thousands of dollars on wasted solicitations that will get tossed straight into the wastebasket.  There’s another bonus:  I find Republican campaign literature to be the perfect cat box liner.

I know, this isn’t the most environmentally-friendly means of protest.  It’s wasteful.  But the time for scorched-earth activism has arrived.  Protest.  Resist.  By any means necessary.  Do something.

 

Make Your Contribution, Now!

 

I urge readers to follow my lead and gum up the Trump campaign machine with a real contribution to making America great again.  Make them blow both time and money.  Sure, they’ve already raised millions in donations.  A few dollars might not seem like much.  But every single small act leads to an avalanche.  Great causes are victorious not by giant events, but by one small act at a time.

For those rightly concerned, note that making a tiny donation will NOT be reported to federal authorities (reporting requirements apply only to donations over $200).  However, all the names of those who donate are indeed recorded.  Republicans consider these lists worth their weight in gold.  Trump and the party will certainly comingle all donors and blow campaign funds on future solicitations.  And the best way to fight them is by throwing their garbage away, or better yet, sending a blank donation envelope back in their return postage-paid envelopes (which are often supplied).  That really stings.  Making them pay — double, triple, and quadruple!

If you’d like to read more about what happens when you make a political donation to a national campaign, here’s a guide.

Make your donation to the Trump campaign now!  And write CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION on the outside of the envelope.  That way it gets to the right place.

Here’s the mailing address:

Donald J. Trump for President

Trump Tower

725 Fifth Avenue

15th Floor

New York, NY 10022-2519

 

Note that the online option at the OFFICIAL WEBSITE has a minimum contribution of $25.  Why do you think they don’t want to bother with donations less than $25?  Answer:  Because it ends up costing them money!  So, contribute the old fashioned way by check, instead.

__________

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75 Comments

  1. You are too funny. But.. Lou and I are both sending .01 checks.
    Sarah

  2. I’ve seen A LOT of TDS out there, but you’re really taking the cake. Can’t wait to see your liberal tears in November.

    • NOLAN REPLIES:

      TDS? I think with Trump you mean “STD.”

      — ND

      • Good one !

  3. You have an STD? Better see your doctor ASAP. Wouldn’t want your boyfriend to catch it.

  4. Trump doesn’t care if he spends all someone else’s money because he’ll be shored up by SuperPACs and all other kinds of vehicles.

    The incremental costs of one new mailing at bulk rates is pennies. Yes, send a few hundred and you’ll cost him ten bucks, but the energy you expend recycling those flyers and letters…not to mention the time spent deleting spam…makes this at best a zero sum game for you, and a “no lose” proposition for Trump.

    Why?

    He sells his mailing list to the RNC. To other candidates. To PACs.

    Now you’re getting dozens of letters a week. Your mailman stops speaking to you because he thinks you’re a Trumper. He gossips with your friends. THEY stop :speaking to you.

    All this because you sent one cent to Trump.

    • NOLAN REPLIES:

      “Your mailman stops speaking to you because he thinks you’re a Trumper. He gossips with your friends. THEY stop speaking to you.”

      Shit, I wish I had thought of this sooner! If that’s all it takes to keep the neighbors away, I’ll give 100 times more.

      — ND

      • After all that mail starts coming in, check for postage paid return envelopes. Stuff them full of all the junk mail they will hold and mail them off.

  5. Also you can tape the reply envelope to a brick before you mail it. the post office has to deliver it. Postage due, natch.

    • Excellent!

  6. It is for these same reasons that I’ve been registered as a republican for Many years. The GOP wastes their time and money courting my support to no avail. 🙂

  7. You just gave me a great way to keep my parrot cage clean, and the thought of my bird crapping on the face of donnie at the bottom of his cage is priceless.

  8. Minimum wager? PROOFREAD!!!

  9. This does waste and kill a lot of trees. But I love it.

  10. Love it, thank you. Messing with their supporter data is genius!!

  11. Take it a step further: when you get their appeals for money, take the postage-paid envelope they include and return it with nothing. Or better yet, fill it with something lumpy and non-machinable. They have to pay for every envelope they get back in the mail. Lumpy, heavy envelopes cost more to receive.

    • Excellent idea

  12. Lib jackass. You are so perfect because you vote for Hillary.

    • Are you stupid Mitur? Hillary still? Get a new vocabulary, she isn’t a big deal anymore, but you pitiful idiot just can’t move on.

  13. This is varsity-level ratf*cking.

  14. The lowest online amount possible to donate is 0.5$, so the online version is possible.

  15. Nolan….I AM a postman. To every home I deliver RNC/DJT political mail, I am mentally identifying people who are defective in some way. Clearly flawed and lacking empathy.

    Now you make MY life more difficult with this ballooning of cardboard flyers that I term finger-cutters….so that death by a thousand paper cuts really DOES happen. To postmen ans postwomen everywhere.

    I love the idea of the $0.01, but the best way to stop the plague is still to vote them out. Now and forever.

    • As a former postal worker, I know that any piece of mail coming through the USPS was my bread & butter. All that “junk” mail? Job security.

  16. WOW…..What a simple diabolical plan to gum up the works. I love the concept and how it would work. Side benefits to the low paid workers and will keep the Postal Service running.

    Love this type of thinking.

    Ken G

  17. Does this work from abroad? If so I’m in.

  18. Love it, so Abbie Hoffman!

  19. This is very like the old way of taking revenge on someone you have to pay but don’t like: for example, the power company: pay your bill but pay 3 cents over the amount due. It will cost them time and effort. Some creditors may even issue you a credit or refund, which is even more expensive.

  20. This is why I am still registered Republican. I get all of their junk mail and phone calls. I LOVE the polls where some braindead Trumpette schill call and I tell them my opinions. Funny how I never seem to get to finish the poll. I wonder how they record that call because they have never stopped and I have been doing it for years.

    • If you are still a registered Republican then you will be issued a Republican ballot at election time. Yes, you can still vote for a different president but, what about the other options?

  21. You’re an idiot. It’s your legacy.

  22. All of you are correct. I would love to do this BUT I don’t to be put an any more mailing lists. Thanks for reminding me.

  23. I’m donating in my neighbor’s dog’s name and address. Let them deal with it.

  24. Stoopid idea, any list that gets your name on it is hazardous to your health. The Repubs will bombard you via texts, emails, and phone calls.

  25. You people believe anything that is posted on the internet, don’t you.
    (That was not a question)

    • NOLAN REPLIES:

      Statements that begin with “you people” typically do not end well.

      — ND

  26. Now I know what to do with my used cat litter!! I was planning on putting it in an Amazon box and leaving it on my front porch under the welcome mat, but this is so much juicier!!!

  27. What an ass.
    Stop wasting everyone’s time and money by lying and poisoning the system. Don’t like Trump? Fine, say so with your vote.

  28. We already DID say so with our vote. Most of us did NOT vote for Don The Con. But thanks to a structural flaw in our democratic process – the Electoral College – the will of the majority was ignored. The system is already poisoned by a tyranny by the minority.

  29. I hate postman, the mail is always late. I’m going to get me a couple of vicious dogs that will be just out of reach of my mailbox.

  30. I want to donate a body bags to all the Trumpeteers who believe it is their right to go out and infect themselves and everyone else with Covid 19. Let Trump keep urging them and their state to get back to work, go out in public, forget social distancing and so what if they get infected. If they die, less people to vote republican! Since Trump seems to think it’s all over, make sure everyone shakes his hand and gives him a big hug; and make sure to skip the face mask, because there might be someone important who wants to talk with you (talk in a whisper so you can sit close).

  31. the other worthwhile bonus is that you are supporting the Postal Service with all that physical mail back and forth, especially stuffing the postage-paid return envelopes at the expense of Republican campaigns- just as Rump and other so-called Republicans are looking to starve the USPS of funds. hey, every few envelopes makes another buck for our public postal service, and union jobs. the mail carriers in our neighborhood have told us that they appreciate every piece that helps pay their decent salaries, and are happy to carry them!

  32. If it’s really such a good tactic, then they can counter by filtering out those donations. They don’t have to accept them.

    I wouldn’t waste my time or 56 cents on that strategy when there must be a better way to use our energy to fight these monsters.

  33. Even third party processors will toss these checks. It’s a great idea, but it won’t work. Best to get on their mailing list, make them waste time & money sending you mail, & using the prepaid envelopes (if there are any) to send them crap.

  34. Just think of all the extra revenue the USPS will get now. It is win/win!

  35. I am going to do this for sure! Thank you for your insight and for this suggestion. We MUST get this demon out of the White House, for all of our sakes.

  36. One more thing. When they start sending you back requests for donations in a prepaid self-addressed envelop, be sure to send it back. They have to pay the return postage. If you are feeling particularly nasty, stick something heavy in it like some trash to see if you can run up the postage.

  37. Almost as good as sending Mitch Mcconnell (or Pence) a stool sample for Corona virus testing!

  38. You can actually select “Other” on the trump site. It won’t let you contribute one cent, but it will let you do just 50 cents.

  39. This article reminds me why my, and now your idea for a mailbox with a built in shredder and trash can below it is such a good idea.

  40. I’m sending in 4 separate checks – One each for my husband who is deceased, our dog who is deceased, one for me, and one for my living cat. The first 2 will go to my address at my second home that does not accept mail and will be tossed out at the post office responsible for this address. The second two will go to my current address.

  41. I am not so sure I trust Trump with my checking account number to do this. Likewise I’m not sure I want to add to the paper industry and like you say, the hassle my postal carrier and I live in a small town and that’s all the rumors I need, they’re pretty RED already!!! No thank you!

  42. i recall this tactic in the avenger’s handbook, brings a tear to my eye

  43. I like it. It’s almost an inverted D.O.S. It would tie up resources. If one person did it no big deal. If 50000 people did it. That would be a big deal.

  44. Done! What a great idea. I’m saving junk mail now to mail back to them when they start mailing me SASE.

    To the people who are saying “Just use your vote to get him out”–that has already been proven to not work. Gerrymandering and Russian interference is the only reason he’s in office now.

  45. Good idea but to much effort for too little return, my time as a Constitutional freedom fighter is better spent on stealthy attacks on higher value targets. Did you call trump a socialist? You really lost me there , dictator it’s tyrant is more accurate 🍀

  46. Where can you send a check? I have been looking, and can only find places to donate online by credit card.

    • Address is at the bottom of the article.

  47. I love it! But only because I HATE Trump SO F’in much! And all Trumpsters! I HATE YOU. If I were more spiritually evolved, I wouldn’t stoop to hate, but Trump made me realize I have a long ways to go on the spiritual path. TRUMPSTERS ARE HUMAN TRASH! WORSE THAN TRUMP EVEN. Phew. I feel better now.

  48. Let us know if propaganda pours in…. Thanks!

  49. David, the address is at the end of the article.

  50. This will also help out the Post Office they want to get rid of.

  51. A second benefit is the boost to the USPS that Trump wants to defund and close.

  52. Why won’t they just retaliate by doing doing the same with Biden donos?

  53. You SO misunderstand how this game is played. Your attention and support is what he’s looking for; it drives the whole ecosystem in the same way angry replies to his tweets only increase their power.

  54. This also helps our struggle post office. WIN WIN WIN.

  55. Donald J. Trump for President
    Trump Tower
    725 Fifth Avenue
    15th Floor
    New York, NY 10022-2519

  56. Pretty funny, but wouldn’t this make it look like he has a lot more donors and depress the average donation amount thus making it look like every day folks are donating en masse?

  57. For any junk mail that comes with a “postage paid” return envelope, my father-in-law stuffs it with bill/check-sized plates of metal. He has a couple of collector cars that he does his own work on whenever possible and does reasonably well designed repair projects around his house. He has a lot of spare metal lying around that’s not good for much, other than stuffing envelopes.

  58. This only works if Republicans are not complete assholes and do the same.

  59. Nice idea, but they’ll probably start throwing the $.01 checks away. That’s what I’d order the employees to do if I was boss.

  60. I might just send a cent every day for a few weeks. That’s a good way to amplify the discord.

  61. Here’s the mailing address:

    Donald J. Trump for President

    Trump Tower

    725 Fifth Avenue

    15th Floor

    New York, NY 10022-2519

  62. send to 1600 Pensylvania Ave. Washington DC 20500 Attn: Donald J. Trump campaign finances dept.

  63. Great idea! I wonder if they’re actually obliged to cash these checks? Would it be illegal —if Trump so gave the instruction— to simply throw them away?

    And how do we know there is no risk that you name and address go onto a sort of ‘enemies list’?

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