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Posted by on Aug 27, 2014 in Blog, Politics | 58 comments

Taking Aim at Gun Magazine Pornography

 

gun-magazines

 

I browsed the magazine rack and was astonished to see a stunning number of gun, rifle, shotgun, and ammunition-related publications.  No, this display isn’t at a gun show in Alabama.  This was a bookstore in Summerlin, an upscale community in west Las Vegas.

 

We’ve know print journalism is in serious trouble.

Americans no longer read much, unless it’s a text message.  Newspapers are cutting back.  Magazines are shutting down.  Even major bookstores are now closing.

Yet when it comes to giving red, white, and blue flag-waving — pickup truck driving — Coors drinking — immigrant-bashing — Obama hating —  right-wing American citizenry the latest news and tantalizing gossip about guns and ammunition, let’s just say the market has this subject pretty well covered.  The only thing missing is a new television show, Housewives of Nashville — Packing Heat. 

Indeed, I was getting worried that guns weren’t getting nearly enough attention in our society.  With all the murders, handgun accidents, cases of domestic violence, police shootings, and so forth happening in everyday America (yesterday, a 9-year-old girl accidentally blew someone away in Arizona with an Uzi), who’s got time to contemplate the latest review on the new Glock 3D SF which is about to hit the streets?

Earlier this afternoon, I was in a Barnes and Noble (Note:  For my readers under the age of 25 — that’s a bookstore….B-O-O-K-S-T-O-R-E….do a Google search for more information).  I browsed the magazine rack and was astonished to see a stunning number of gun, rifle, shotgun, and ammunition-related publications.  No, this display isn’t at a gun show in Alabama.  This was in Summerlin, an upscale community in west Las Vegas.

Look closer at the photo above.  There’s a magazine for every gun fetish.  If you like bigger barrels, might I recommend Shotgun News?  If your tastes gravitate towards Asians, check out Japanese Firearms Monthly.  For those wanting a quickie, try Light Caliber Review.  For those who prefer the thrill of bestiality, I recommend Deer Hunter.  If you love guns, just pick up the latest edition of GUN NUT WHATEVER, and blast away.

Still, as a writer and amateur social commentator  — I’m curious about something.  Most of these are monthly publications, correct?  That means each one of these publications must pump out fresh material about every 30-days or so.  100 pages per rag.  What subject involving guns can be so riveting that there need to be 40 to 50 magazines currently in circulation to cover it — all revolving around the latest news to a lot of people who don’t even bother to read?  It’s like 40 sites like PokerNews hooked on black-tar heroin.

By comparison, look at the golf section.  Those rags instruct us on the skill of chasing a little white ball across a golf course.  About 15 major golf magazines exist, which still seems like a lot.  That means there are three times as many gun-related magazines out there on the market as golf-related publications.

Excuse me for just a moment, while I gather my thoughts…

Okay, I’m ready.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!

A review of some of these magazine titles is frightening.  Folks, I am not making any of these up.  Check them out for yourself.

The Counter Terrorist refers to itself as, “America’s premier informational journal for Homeland Security professionals, our mission is to provide first responders relevant technical information they need to combat terrorism at home and abroad.”

Well, I must say — you’re doing one hell of a job, readers of The Counter Terrorist.  Where would American be without you?  You nabbed the underwear bomber.  Oh, wait.  Actually, you didn’t do shit.  He actually pulled the string, only the dynamite didn’t blow up.  Oh well, you guys can still take the credit.  Same thing with the shoe bomber.  You didn’t stop that, either.  Same thing with the van in Times Square.  So much for your magazine, which might as well be a giant circle jerk of overgrown boys who still love to play cowboys and Indians.  Gee, come to think of it — counter-terrorism units haven’t done ONE goddamned thing to stop an act of terrorism in America, have they?  Yet, there’s an entire magazine for all the little heroes sucking on the fear tit.

How about Tactical Weapons?  You certainly don’t want to miss this latest issue.  This magazine bills itself as follows — “Tactical Weapons is the exciting bi-monthly publication that is much more than a gun-test driven magazine.”  Exciting???  Sorry, that’s not a word I want to be associated with someone brandishing a firearm.  If someone is about to cream in their pants with a finger on the trigger, fuck your Second Amendment rights.  You’re not a patriot.  You’re a psychopath.

There’s another magazine on the rack.  It’s called Tactical Knives.  Yes, that’s really the title.  Hey, one never knows when you might leave the local Applebees and end up engaged in a switchblade fight in the parking lot.  Here’s the perfect magazine just for you.

Another favorite, I’m sure is Shooting Times and Shooting Times and Country.  I’m not really sure of the difference.  Adding to the confusion is another magazine called Shooting Sports, and another called Rifle Shooter.  That’s just the start of the double-barreled firearm brigade.  I guess this is what we call “shotgun bukkake.”

All this gun talk is getting me all hot and bothered.  I really feel the need to shoot (and hopefully kill) something.  And who says I’m not a patriotic American?

58 Comments

  1. The city of Chicago which had until recently the most restrictive gun laws in the country, has also been widely known as the murder capital of United States. Times have changed.

    Since Illinois started allowing concealed carry permits earlier this year “the number of robberies that have led to arrests in Chicago has declined 20 percent from last year, according to police department statistics. Reports of burglary and motor vehicle theft are down 20 percent and 26 percent, respectively. In the first quarter, the city’s homicide rate was at a 56-year low.”

    Time and time again gun control advocates, who warn of increased crime when gun laws are relaxed, are proven wrong by the facts.

    “When something as terrible as Columbine’s tragedy occurs — politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws.” ~~ Darrell Scott father of Columbine victim Rachel Scott.

    • Nolan was bitching about gun magazines and not about guns. And btw, the NRA wants kids to have fun in the shooting range which I’m sure include firing an UZI.

      • Sorry Mario,
        You have no proof……

        • The NRA has huge numbers of events and programs to help children safely learn about guns. Using an UZI under those conditions would not qualify.

      • Actually, no. The NRA, along with every other responsible gun owner, wants people to use guns safely. This includes not allowing a child to fire a fully automatic firearm without it being mounted to something so that a tragic accident doesn’t happen. The instructor and the parents never should have let that young lady fire that weapon.

        But if it floats your boat to be bigoted about 5M people because of the actions of one, then go ahead. That is your right.

      • No Mario, the NRA does not want children shooting Uzis.
        If you knew anything at all about the NRA’s shooting program for kids or about firearms in general, you would know that youngsters shoot single shot bolt action rifles to begin their lessons and then graduate from there to semi-auto .22 cal. rifles. As for the gun magazines, many of the ones he cites are not taken seriously by the gun community. However, they do possess the same First Amendment rights as the clown who wrote this screed.

  2. Another well written and reasoned post. I for one don’t understand why there are such bitter clingers to the First Ammendment. These publications need regulation and common sense restrictions. First I’d limit them to under ten pages. Second, anyone desiring to purchase such a publication should submit to a background check. Third, the authorities should keep a list of owners in case we deem that they should be confiscated. Problem solved once and for all.

    • So let’s see, get rid of the first, second, fourth and fifth amendments so what kind of govt do you think we would have? Think about it , would you be safer or not? Are you a member of ISIS?

      • Don’t really get sarcasm do you?

        and “WHO THE FUCK” is Nolan Dalla? A search says a gambling dilatant and hangerone. Wow impressive background to have so many moronic opinions after a lifetime of cardgames.

        Barnes and Noble a bookstore? As Walmart is a sporting goods store.

      • The sarcasm is weak with this one.

      • You might want to look up this thing called sarcasm…

    • LOL,and who, but a terrorist, needs a high capacity printer capable of printing reams of paper a second? I use a quill (from sustainable stock) and ink made from organic blueberries (fertilized with unicorn droppings) and use recycled paper. I don’t think the racist evil founding forefathers ever envisioned laser printers, the WWW (thanks VP Gore), so any printing done utilizing those and similar modern technologies aren’t protected by the Constitution.

      I think the good Dalla is projecting his intimate feelings towards firearms. And that is not an exciting thought.

    • Good one!

    • In New york, the magazines pages should be limited to 7 pages

  3. This guy is obsessed with sex. He associates everything in his stupid article to sex. He must also resort to foul language to make his imbecilic point. The left in this country never ceases to amaze.

    • Probably because he is not getting any. The only thing he is getting is alcohol, card games, and Barnes and Noble.

  4. Yes, let’s start with Mr Dalla, who clearly doesn’t need to express his opinion and should be prohibited from doing it without common sense regulations. After all, its not Mr Dalla, its the words he uses that are the problem. He should be limited to ten words per article, be registered with a word offender site, have his computer and all devices used to write registered with the stare and federal government, and he should not be allowed to have more than ten characters on his writing devices, no upper case letters and no exclamation character.
    After all, the written word has created the necessary arguments over the last 4000 years to enforce the killing of untold millions of humans. When will it stop!

    • Sorry Rob…
      Mr. Dalla can excersise his 1st admendment rights just as much as we can.
      Granted he may even be sartcastic in his observations, conservitive writers,bloggers,commenters( myself included) have gone that route from time to time.

      Leave the censorship of different/opposing views to them(leftist,liberal,proggressives). If they ever susceed,the consequences will be on them………

      • RE: Roger V. Apparently, the state of US literacy has fallen to the point that it’s necessary to add “sarc” to make sure everyone gets it. By the way, if I were you, I’d avoid Mark Twain, Voltaire, and Joe Bob Briggs, to name just three.

    • After all we need reasonable and sensible controls on all facets of the Bill Of Rights. We need Word Sense in America. New Speak. The Ministry Of Truth and Love are desperately needed. We should abolish Congress and just have Executive Orders all day long.

  5. Oh my!….Where’s my fainting couch!

  6. I’m surprised Mr. Dalla could take his eyes away from the latest edition of Mother Jones to even notice such magazines. Like all smug elitists, he showed bravery to venture the south side of the B-O-O-K-S-T-O-R-E.

  7. The moment you discover a constitutional amendment guaranteeing golf, please give me a call.

    I’ll wait….

    *yawn* *crickets chirping*

    • I think Obama is trying to slip that one in. The right to bear a nine iron shall not be infringed by Presidential duties.

  8. Do you also have problem with capitalism? You, of all people, should understand that it’s only on the shelves because people buy it. I mean, duh, you live in Vegas.

    Personally, I think they rags are ALL dying. Hell, I’m a gun nut and I’m reading this blog but don’t pay for gun rags.

    • A lot of the dead tree magazine are all glorified advertizements for gun companies anyway so many don’t pay heed to them. Several were recently called out on giving Remington’s new R51 pistol a ton of glowing reviews, even though many independent reviewers online and such were finding glaring and sometimes dangerous flaws with the gun. Not long after Rem has stopped selling the gun. Firearm journalism, like a lot of media outlets, is full of cronyism and depends on conflicts of interests to keep going, making their opinions and stories easy to call out for shilling.

  9. You are an amateur writer and commentator. This is called a rant.. Not a thoroughly researched and published article and once you dropped the F Bomb you lost any remaining credibility that you still had.

  10. Screaming obscenities like a child only wins over the minds of children. Maybe it’s time for the gun control industry that manufactures your irrelevant outrage to rewrite the talking points? You know, something more fitting a grown man with multiple degrees, rather than an adolescent teen with behavioral issues? Really, I understand your side is upset about your impotence on this issue, but ever since sandy hook the rhetoric on your side has gotten embarrassing, to the point where people are actually starting to prefer the sane by comparison anti-gvt rants of the “ammosexuals.”

  11. Walmart, has a good selection of Gun Porn mags too.

  12. This has to be one of the least informed, poorly written articles I have seen in years. Clearly, the author needs to seek medical help.

  13. Freud had a word for this sort of thing. “Dojection”? “Mojection”? Projection! That was it!

  14. This is hilarious. Here’s a guy making his living thanks to the first amendment, criticizing others making their living using the first amendment to discuss the rights protected by the second.

    Nolan, your “gun-porn magazine” obsessed crazies exist solely in your own mind.

    These magazines are struggling for readers just like every other print medium. Most of us “gun nuts” have gone to the web, just like everyone else.

  15. “Yet when it comes to giving red, white, and blue flag-waving — pickup truck driving — Coors drinking — immigrant-bashing — Obama hating — right-wing American citizenry”

    Allright, lets go through this shall we….. Pickup, don’t own one, never have, don’t drink beer, I am an immigrant, took me 14 years and 20K to become a US citizen (sworn in 2013), Obama hating, his policies yes, right-wing, yep you got me there and don’t forget tea party and follower of Christ.

    Mr. Dalla, you seemed to have overlooked the First Amendment.

    • I drink beer, drive a pick-up, etc. Ross, glad you made it. Congratulations. welcome to the USA.

      • Thank you.

  16. Your just mad cause no one reads your crap.

  17. Nolan, besides having a First Amendment Right to free speech and press what makes you qualified to rant about guns? Do you own one? Have you fired one? Have you touched one? Do you have any formal or informal training? If the answer to most of these was No then you need to STFU. You just come across as ignorant.

  18. Hey Nolan, maybe you wouldn’t be so bent out if shape about gun mags if you took your meds and went to therapy this week. This country has enough vicious, ignorant, deranged, feces-flinging, prejudiced anti-gunners already and one more doesn’t improve things.

    Pro-gun people have to learn we cannot have a debate with opponents like this who are – because of their arrogant, prejudiced fanaticism – incapable of intelligent, honest debate…and that covers most anti-gunners.

  19. At least you got “amateur” right, Mr. Dalla. +1 on the rampant bigotry and condescension, though, because that’s super awesome. Just another elitist with a leaky hole on your head. Go get educated. Then try again.

  20. Ironically, your problem is actually with the 1st Amendment…ya know, the same one that allows you to spout this stupid vitriol in the first place. Your rail on gun porn is about the 1st Amendment, not the 2nd. But, I guess you get too caught up in emotions to think properly.

  21. I am sorry we are reading magazines about guns and not the dribble and drool that you publish. I am sorry those publications making more money then a Golf Digest.

    I am sorry that Americans are making free choices to buy those magazines to read vice other things. I am sorry that every single newspaper is hemorrhaging from free choices that people make.

  22. Wow. So much hatred, bigotry, and sexual obsession schlepped into a single article.

  23. I just wanted to say that if the author cant understand why people read books and magazines, well, I’m not sure who he expects to read this missive.

    I own lots of guns and I read lots of magazines. I hope that bothers you, but Im not sure why it does.

  24. More than 30 thousand people die in operating rooms throughout our nation every year. Were the all natural
    causes or did a Surgeon make a mistake ? We’ll never know
    because you lefty’s are too busy with counting deaths
    by gun’s. Over a hundred thousand deaths occur on our
    Nation’s Highway’s , we never hear a word from you about
    these numbers. Sir, take the time to realize that we need
    PEOPLE laws for the criminals that violate the already enough gun laws. When a criminal wants a gun he gets the money and buy’s the gun on the street.He could care less about gun laws.Wake up lefty and punish the criminal,not
    the gun.

  25. Gun magazine pornography? Does that mean that anyone who reads car magazines is reading “car pornography??”

    Do you masturbate to “Car and Buyer” and “House and Garden” magazine, Nolan? Does that get you off?

    “(yesterday, a 9-year-old girl accidentally blew someone away in Arizona with an Uzi)”

    Oh, good. I was worried you were going to leave that out of your anti-gun propaganda. Let’s not forget to take advantage of little kids and accidents caused by negligent handling whenever possible – those are just more more opportunities for us to highlight how evil those inanimate objects are.

    I will admit, something I cannot accuse you of, Nolan, is having any tact and decency.

    Have fun wallowing in your hatred and bitterness.

  26. This violently impotent little man isn’t the most useful tool in the drawer, is he?

  27. I find it amusing that you felt the need to condescend to people under 25 by spelling out the word “bookstore” when the rest of your moronic diatribe shows that you’re significantly dumber than every single one of them.

    In fact, I’d go out on a limb and say there are kids in special school right now mashing soggy graham crackers against the sides of their mandated safety helmets that are smarter than you.

  28. Guns are more entertaining than golf. Try it and see.

  29. Just to take the wind out of Nolan’s sails and remove the premise of his indignation over the use of the word “exciting”, I’d point out that the word is used in the same way it would be in reference to a new wine magazine which utilized a novel way of rating wines, or a new PET-CT scanner whose improved spatial resolution results in better co-registration of the two images. Nobody is going to have involuntary seminal emissions over wine ratings, diagnostic image co-registration or a new approach to writing about firearms, but the use of the word “exciting” is absolutely appropriate and valid.

  30. Nolan, I would like to ask you to do the following:

    Take a gun safety course from a certified professional, then go to a shooting range. Shoot a gun for a bit, then tell us how it made you feel.

    Or, just go to a gun store and hold a gun. Tell us then: does holding the gun make you feel any murderous urges?

    If it does, I will applaud you for being conscious of that and making the decision that you are not fit to own a gun. However, I believe that you will see that it is just a hunk of metal by itself, and that it is no more dangerous than the person who is handling it. If the person handling it, [you], has no intention to do anything bad/evil with it, then it will not harm people, right? It will not jump out of your hand or holster and shoot someone, will it?

    I think your fear of guns comes from a lack of understanding them and a belief that everyone in society is evil. I believe that your belief that society is evil is what makes you believe that guns can only be bad – but are you evil?

    Here is my challenge to you:

    Get educated about gun safety and aiming from a certified gun safety instructor. Go to a local range and learn about their safety rules before renting a lane and gun. Then go shooting at that range – all while keeping an open mind (free from any biases), that the gun is only as evil as the holder, and whether YOU are evil or not. Then tell us how you feel about guns.

  31. An article full of stereotypes and condescension. The classic language of “fuck your second amendment rights” was awe inspiring. Imagine if someone said fuck your first amendment rights since you seem incapable of thinking outside the tiny little box that big media has placed gun owners within. Yes people get excited about new guns and they get excited about learning new tactics to defend themselves and their loved ones. That does not mean they are “creaming their pants with their finger on the trigger.”

    Your entire article was trite nonsense spewed from the mind of a man who wouldn’t understand guns and taking responsibility for his own safety into his own hands if his life depended on it, literally.

    Continue to rely on the police, who carry GUNS, to protect you. I sincerly hope that you never actually have to face reality.

  32. “If someone is going to get off telling other people what to think, and threaten them with great bodily harm if they don’t comply, f*&k your First Amendment rights. You’re not a journalist, you’re a wannabe dictator.”

  33. What a douche nozzle.

  34. Sir, I’m glad you found something other than poker to write about. From reading your poker work, I’d say you definitely know what you’re talking about, and I would suggest you take an opportunity to educate yourself before sharing your opinion on guns.

    The first thing to understand is that one big reason tare so many gun magazines is that those who participate in gun related activities are, by and large, people who take these activities very seriously and want to learn as much as they can.

    Unlike poker, guns, as you brought up, can be very deadly. As such, it’s critical that people who participate be educated in the safe handling of weapons.

    Far from “encouraging” young children to shoot Uzi’s, the NRA actually offers many, many safe shooting courses directed toward young shooters and those who teach them.

    Over the past year, I’ve seen a number of stories regarding youngsters who were far too young to be operating ATV’s who were injured while doing so under adult supervision. But those don’t have the cache’ that comes with a gun story, so no one ever considers that a problem.

    Please take the time to a gun range and spend some time actually learning about this if you are going to consider writing more gun stories.

  35. “If someone is going to get off telling other people what to think, and threaten them with great bodily harm if they don’t comply, f*&k your first amendment rights. You’re not a journalist, you’re a wannabe dictator.”

    FIFY

  36. Oh my goodness! All those gin magazines! What does it all mean?

    They are all for profit endeavors, if no one buys them, they wouldn’t exist. But yet there they are. Ergo – a lot of people enjoy guns.

    You don’t. So pay no mind to the gun magazine and stick to your golf, or whatever, magazines.

    Next…

  37. TIL that a lot of gun nuts read your blog. Ignore the haters and keep doing god’s work. You are absolutely right that there is something wrong with our society when gun porn magazines outnumber teen entertainment magazines.

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