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Stopping Terrorism with Beer and Pussy

Posted by on Jan 6, 2014 in Blog, Politics | 6 comments

 

solving-terrorism

 

Any religion that forbids enjoying life is a fucking straight jacket.  I mean, what kind of routine requires that you pray five times a day?  Why doesn’t someone jump up and say,“how come we’re praying more than anyone else on earth, and we’re still the poorest motherfuckers on the planet?”

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Imitation of Life

Posted by on Jan 5, 2014 in Blog, Movie Reviews | 4 comments

Imitation_of_Life-Juanita_Moore

 

Juanita Moore died a few days ago.

If you don’t know that name, you’re not alone.  I didn’t know her either.

But I do remember her most memorable film role, in what was (and remains) one of the most groundbreaking movies ever made.  The name of that film is Imitation of Life.

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Animals R Us

Posted by on Jan 5, 2014 in Blog, Rants and Raves | 1 comment

 

chimpanzee-animal-picture

 

What makes us perceive similar things so differently?

For instance, two things can be almost identical.  They can be the same size and shape.  They can provide the same benefits, or pose the same dangers.  So why would one thing be cherished, while the other is feared?

Let’s take the DNA of two mammals (see below).  They’re about the same size and shape.  They’re closely related as species.  They both live in cities.  However, we perceive one as a sweet and fuzzy creature, while the other is vermin.

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What I Think of Jerry Jones (and NFL Playoff Games)

Posted by on Jan 4, 2014 in Blog, Sports Betting | 2 comments

 

jerry-hones

 

The NFL playoffs begin today.

Like all but one of each of the last 18 years, the Dallas Cowboys will not be among this weekend’s winners.  That’s 17 of the last 18 Januarys spent at home.

This may seem unremarkable unless you consider the perpetual disappointment of this wasted franchise.  Do you think the Detroit Lions or Buffalo Bills would be ranked near the top of NFL team memorabilia sales if they posted just one playoff victory in 18 years?  Somebody is fooling somebody here.  There are a lot of fools drinking Cowboy Kool-aid.

And therein lies the wicked wizardry of the man responsible for brewing the punch, behind the curtain, at the controls, pulling the levers.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Jerry Jones.

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Movie Review: The Wolf of Wall Street

Posted by on Jan 3, 2014 in Blog, Movie Reviews | 3 comments

 

the-wolf-of-wall-street

 

This is Casino meets Goodfellas meets Wall Street meets Blow meets Glengarry Glen Ross meets Caligula.  Whatever your opinion of those movies is, likely will determine how you judge this film.  At its best, it’s Richard III heavily under the influence.  At its worst, it’s Jersey Shore.

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Ten New Year’s Resolutions I Intend to Break Immediately

Posted by on Jan 1, 2014 in Blog, Personal | 0 comments

 

Nolan Dalla

 

Let’s say you make a New Year’s resolution.  But you know you’ll end up breaking it.  Is it still a resolution?

I’ll let others figure that out.

In the meantime, here are ten popular New Year’s resolutions that I intend to shatter from the moment I wake up on January 1st:

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Movie Review: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Posted by on Dec 31, 2013 in Blog, Movie Reviews | 1 comment

 

walter-mitty

 

Each time Ben Stiller is confronted with the opportunity to share a more personal side of himself or delve deeper into life, he refuses to let us in and then trivializes human drama and conflict with a brush-off.  Scenes with the potential to make you think much more deeply get interrupted by cheap laughs, which always seems to be Stiller’s comfort zone.  In the end, we feel cheated.

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What Happens When the Giant Asteroid Hits?

Posted by on Dec 31, 2013 in Blog | 4 comments

 

asteroid-strikes-earth

 

I don’t know shit about science.

I took astronomy in college.  Three times.  You might think that would make me three times as smart.  But dropped the course twice before taking a third swing.  I finally passed the course with a grade of C.  That professor sucked.

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