I average approximately three laptops per year. What this means is — I somehow manage to lose or destroy about three laptops every 12 months. Given those dismal odds, I started buying refurbished laptops a few years ago — which refers to discounted merchandise that went through hell and was returned to the store usually by some lying scumbag who pretty much did a war dance on the keyboard and then blamed the computer for suddenly “not working.”
Things got so bad for awhile, that I resorted to buying used laptops off of Craig’s List — which is really scrapping the bottom of the barrel. I figure — why spend $795 paying retail at the store when you can fork over $250 for a used machine from some thief that will probably last just as long?
You’ve already read what happened to my new Acer while visiting France. I bought that machine at Costco for $695. It lasted only a month before some punk walked into my hotel and stole it. Read the story here: WHERE’S INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU WHEN YOU NEED HIM?
So this week, as soon as I got back home, I returned to Costco again and bought the same Acer model that had been pilfered in Cannes.
This one lasted a day.
Even worse, I somehow managed to destroy my backup HP mini-laptop — the one I use in case of emergencies. You know, such as when something goes wrong with the primary laptop.
How this happened is a marvel not to be believed. Here it goes:
Wednesday afternoon I was busy installing files onto both laptops — the new 16-inch Acer and the older 12-inch HP. The laptops were plugged into the wall and sat on the floor beneath my office desk.
Marieta usually makes me a tumbler full of some kind of cocktail during the late afternoon. The tumbler is actually a stainless steel mixer that’s commonly used as a shaker by bartenders. At home, I prefer my cocktails served in a giant tumbler which stays colder longer because its made of metal rather than glass.
I have absolutely no idea how the following happened. But we do own two cats — Alex and Faro — and they’re both now serious suspects. I sat the 20-ounce tumbler down on top of the desk and walked away. Meanwhile, the two computers beneath the desk were downloading new programs.
When I returned a few minutes later, I saw a horrifying sight. The empty tumbler was laying on its side. Liquid was spilled all over the desk and was dripping down onto the two laptops beneath. The carpeting was SOAKED. Both laptops were open and had a puddles of liquid and ice cubes all over both keyboards.
It was not a pretty sight.
No big deal, I thought.
I grabbed a towel and padded down both laptops, hoping to soak up what remained of what would have been a delicious Rum Runner. To my amazement, the Acer keyboard no longer worked. Worse, the HP showed a black screen. After rebooting both laptops several times, I feared the worst — an accidental spill had wiped out not just one, but two laptops — one of them not even 24 hours new out of the box.
A hectic web search on my wife’s desktop (she usually forbids me to touch her computer, for some reason) found one possible fix — holding a hair dryer over the keyboard and blowing hot air into the motherboard. Supposedly, this dries out the liquid trapped inside. I tried that. It didn’t work.
I allowed the laptops to rest and dry out overnight; but when both laptops were turned on this morning, the results were exactly the same. The bottom line was — two laptops had been destroyed in my faux home happy hour.
The HP appears to be fried. Ruined. Gone. Oh well — no big loss. I bought that unit for $140 off Craig’s List a year ago.
But the Acer was more problematic. I’m not exactly sure what the warranty says about spilling cocktails onto the keyboard and the liability thereof, but I decided to chance it and try and return the laptop to Costco, hoping for an exchange. This afternoon, I returned the Acer with the keyboard that mysteriously no longer works, with no questions asked. For those out there in the market for a refurbished laptop, you may want to avoid a silver Acer if you lean over the keyboard and get a heavy whiff of Bacardi.
So, for those keeping score — that’s four computers destroyed in 2012. And, I still have nearly three months left to go.
What you’re reading now is my first post on a brand new Acer, bought (you guessed it) at Costco. In a few minutes, Marieta will be bringing me a Tennessee Highball, encased in my beloved silver tumbler.
If you don’t see me updating my blog for the next few days, you can pretty much guess what happened. And keep those cats out of the office.
Here’s a multiple choice question — Pick the only one of the four candidates on this year’s presidential ticket who is a Protestant:
A. Paul Ryan
B. Mitt Romney
C. Joe Biden
D. Barack Obama
If you guessed “D,” Barack Obama — you got it right.
Yet irony of all ironies, the man often accused of being a Muslim by millions of Protestant fanatics is, in fact, one of their own. He’s the only one of the four candidates in this year’s race who professes to be a Protestant. Romney, of course, is Mormon. Ryan and Biden are both Catholics.
Not that this will matter. This year, Protestants will vote in overwhelming numbers for Romney and Ryan – which are more inclined to be “anti-Obama” votes than a genuine show of enthusiasm for their own ticket. Fortunately, those numbers are continuing to show a steady decline as more and more Americans sever their lives being tethered to a fairy tale.
The most recent poll results of religion and politics in America reveals some encouraging news. For the first time since this nation was founded in 1776, fewer than half of the population identifies themselves as Protestants. Think about that for a moment, and consider the ramifications – which we’ll get to in a minute.
Online Gaming: The Pursuit of Getting Players “In The Room”
For those of us who follow the evolution of the gaming industry, there is a kind of fascination with how the online and land-based industry compete. Of course, it’s often the case that there is crossover among the two industries, but while the big Vegas casinos will have online sites, the majority of online casino operators do not have, and never will have, physical premises.
The interesting aspect is that the land-based industry never really suffered its moment of digital disruption in the same way as, say, Blockbuster video did at the hands of Netflix, or bookstores did due to the rise of Amazon. Casinos don’t close down in the same manner as brick-and-mortar stores on main street, citing the impossibility of competing with the internet. Both industries are in rude health.
The point is that playing poker, blackjack, roulette of online is something you might do, whereas going to the casino is an event; perhaps, something you would describe as momentous. That clear line marked between the two has been very important from a business perspective.
Live dealer games seen as huge success
Yet, there has always been an ambition within the online casino industry to replicate the real casino experience. As you might expect, that goal has been at least partially realized with the advent of live dealer casino games. Today, if you sign up to casino.com to experience live Hold’em, you’ll probably agree that they have made great strides in delivering on that promise. The cards, dealer, sights, sounds and strategy are the same.
Live casino has been immensely popular, giving players much more in the way of the experience of an “event” than, for example, the animated gameplay on dedicated poker sites. This is not to say that live dealer poker is better than the offerings of a poker site – any assertion like that is a subjective one – but it is much closer to the real thing than anything else we have seen online before.
Technology does not stand still, however, and the multi-billion-dollar industry in online casino game development is already firmly behind the next steps in creating experiences that truly rival the real casinos. What they want, ultimately, is to get players “in the room”; to allow you to take a seat at a virtual poker table and look into the eyes of your opponent.
VR iGaming industry set to take off
The side of the industry working on this has been tagged as VR iGaming, and the projects they are working on are surprising in their ambition. Much of it has to do with VR, of course, but there are also elements of AR (augmented reality) and MR (mixed reality). The idea will be to eventually get everyone into the room, offering an experience that recreates real casino to such an extent that it makes little difference whether you are in Las Vegas or your bedroom.
We should make it clear that this kind of thing is not readily available yet. Software developers have been brandishing Oculus Rift Headsets, HTC Vive Pro Headsets and Touch Controllers at exhibitions, but it might be a few years before it is all readily available.
Perhaps surprisingly, online casinos are not alone in pursuing this kind of technology. The land-based casino industry is also looking to bring such experiences to life. The reason? Millennials. Land-based operators have realized that millennials are not as enthused about playing games of cards and dice as generations past, and they believe that the virtual experience might be the key to sustaining the industry.
Does the above mean that we will one day eschew the traditional way of playing casino games? Will sitting at the table chatting to the croupier with a cocktail be a thing of the past? Perhaps. But not in the way you might think. Why would millennials go to a casino to play the same games but in a virtual format?
Well, that’s the key. The industry has realized that the future of the casino industry is not to find novel ways to replicate classic games of the past, but to offer something entirely different: Skill games; gambling adventure games, where you defeat monsters for cash; playing poker in a virtual saloon that puts you in the Wild West. This is the type of experience they are aiming for. There will always be room for the classics, of course. But the pursuit of technology will soon look beyond getting players in the room, and put them somewhere else entirely.
On CBS’ “60 Minutes,” the long lost hermit singer-songwriter Rodriguez was featured in the third segement. This was one of the most heartwarming and inspiring stories I’ve ever seen on a program that has given us many extraordinary memories over the years.
The segment told the remarkable story of a long-forgotten folk singer from Detroit, simply named Rodriguez. Forty years ago, he made two albums, both of which bombed commercially in the United States. So, Rodriguez essentially quit the music business entirely and spent the next three decades working as a day laborer. He stayed poor, living in a run-down shack outside of Detroit.
Meanwhile 15,000 miles away on the other side of the world, his records somewhow caught on in the nation of South Africa. During the fall of Apartheid, he unknowingly became a huge star, although he never received a dime in royalties nor knew of his fame in that faraway land. South Africans who knew every song and rang Rodriguez’s lyrics presumed he was dead.
But Rodriguez was very much alive.
This remarkable segment tells Rodriguez’s life story, which eventualy led to a movie which is out now called “Searching for Sugarman.” The tale of how the movie, which debuted this year at the Sundance Film Festival, came to be is just as moving emotionally — shot largely on an iPhone by a one-man production team with no budget led by a broke Swede, who heard about this amazing Cinderella tale and decided to make a film which has now changed both of their lives.
If you cherish the notion that art is not a commodity but a state of consciousness, or if you simply want to sit back and enjoy a great story, I urge you to watch this clip:
A few days ago, I lost everything I have ever written.
Every article — gone.
Every draft — gone.
Two half-completed books — gone.
Hundreds of World Series of Poker official reports — gone.
Thousands of personal photographs — gone.
Basically, everything I’m now working on or have nearly completed as a writer — gone.
So, what happened?
My laptop was stolen.
After spending 24 hours crying and another 48 hours throwing up, my next instinct was to write about the pain this has caused. Even as I sit here now, three days removed from the loss, words cannot express what comes from being severed forever from the emotional reactions I had to different things over the years that were reflected in those very heartfelt writings.
When I felt happy, I usually wrote about it. When I felt sad, I usually wrote about it. And, when I felt angry, I almost always wrote about it. That laptop was a basket case of emotional bedlam.
And now, it’s gone, likely transformed into little more than back-alley barter for the next $50 fix.
28 WINS – 21 LOSSES – 0 PUSHES —– (+ 14.8 units / 1 unit = $100)
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000.
CURRENT BANKROLL: $11,480.
BEST BETS OF THE WEEK: 2-1-0
Very solid results last week going 7-3 with the posted plays…..but should have made considerably more profit…..poor money management on what should have been a huge core. I’ll still take a 60 percent winning percentage and a +14 percent gain of bankroll, any month.
Tougher card that normal, this week. Going light with just four plays. Wagering $1,750 this week.
Note: All wagers are for amusement-purposes only. I bear no responsibility for those who may decide to follow my plays.
The following interview was conducted on September 30, 2012, in front of the Hotel La Majestic Barriere in Cannes, France. Swedish writer and journalist Rikard Aberg is one of the game’s most inquisitive interviewers, as can be seen in this exchange.
I like Aberg’s style which is largely conversational. He asks about several subjects — including health and fitness, goals and aspirations, Stu Ungar, and of course — the future of WSOP Europe.
These videos — of myself, Jennifer Tilly, Phil Hellmuth, Steve Dannenman, Brandon Cantu, and others are posted at a Swedish-language site. They will also be available at PokerTube shortly.
This marks my sixth straight year at World Series of Poker Europe.
Our first four years took place in London, England. Last year, we moved to the south of France to the resort city of Cannes, located on the fabulous French Riviera — which makes this the second occasion WSOP Europe has taken place in France. All events take place at the Hotel La Majestic Barriere, which also plays host to many events surrounding the Cannes Film Festival.
Here are a few short video clips of the poker action, courtesy of CalvinAyre.com:
The photo above shows the king-sized bed in my hotel room, in Cannes, France.
Here’s a closer look:
I know what you’re thinking. You’re horrified. You find me repulsive.
Well, it’s not what you think.
There’s a story here, and if you’ve read this far, you’re going to hear every sleazy detail.
I got out of bed this morning at 9 am sharp. As I was getting dressed, I looked back at the bed and saw this appalling sight.
Imagine the horror.
But the odor wasn’t quite what I expected. In fact, the odor was quite pleasant.
Has your revulsion meter hit overdrive yet? I’ll pause a moment and give you a chance to run to the bathroom and vomit.
I had smelled this familiar odor before. Many times. And, it wasn’t just coming from the sheets. I looked down. It was also all over my body, especially my backside. I was covered in brown.
What was this odd brown substance?
You guessed it.
Chocolate.
Reminiscent to the famous scene in The Godfather where the evil movie producer wakes up with what appears to be a bloody nose, only to find his prize mare’s head splattered all over his silk sheets, my worst possible fears turned out to be little more than a mangled and molested confectionary treat.
But now, there’s an even bigger mystery. I don’t remember eating chocolate in bed last night. So, how did it get there?
The only logical explanation seems to be that the maid somehow left some chocolates on the bed when she cleaned my room the previous day. Was she munching on a candy bar? Did she set the chocolate down and then forget about it? Or, were there chocolates on the pillow as some fancy hotels do — and did I stumble in at 3 am last night, rumble under the sheets, and proceed to pulverize a couple of pieces of chocolate candy?
I don’t know.
What I do know, however, is that with no help from the useless “shower” in my bathroom, it took me ten minutes to wash the chocolate out of my ass.
