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Nolan’s Kinky French Sleeping Habits

Nolan’s Kinky French Sleeping Habits

Posted by on Sep 29, 2012 in Blog, Personal, Rants and Raves, Travel | 3 comments

 

How did this happen?

Look at this mattress!

Disgusting!

The photo above shows the king-sized bed in my hotel room, in Cannes, France.

Here’s a closer look:

 

 

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re horrified.  You find me repulsive.

Well, it’s not what you think.

There’s a story here, and if you’ve read this far, you’re going to hear every sleazy detail.

I got out of bed this morning at 9 am sharp.  As I was getting dressed, I looked back at the bed and saw this appalling sight.

Imagine the horror.

But the odor wasn’t quite what I expected.  In fact, the odor was quite pleasant.

Has your revulsion meter hit overdrive yet?  I’ll pause a moment and give you a chance to run to the bathroom and vomit.

I had smelled this familiar odor before.  Many times.  And, it wasn’t just coming from the sheets.  I looked down.  It was also all over my body, especially my backside.  I was covered in brown.

What was this odd brown substance?

You guessed it.

Chocolate.

Reminiscent to the famous scene in The Godfather where the evil movie producer wakes up with what appears to be a bloody nose, only to find his prize mare’s head splattered all over his silk sheets, my worst possible fears turned out to be little more than a mangled and molested confectionary treat.

But now, there’s an even bigger mystery.  I don’t remember eating chocolate in bed last night.  So, how did it get there?

The only logical explanation seems to be that the maid somehow left some chocolates on the bed when she cleaned my room the previous day.  Was she munching on a candy bar?  Did she set the chocolate down and then forget about it?  Or, were there chocolates on the pillow as some fancy hotels do — and did I stumble in at 3 am last night, rumble under the sheets, and proceed to pulverize a couple of pieces of chocolate candy?

I don’t know.

What I do know, however, is that with no help from the useless “shower” in my bathroom, it took me ten minutes to wash the chocolate out of my ass.

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Bathing Beauty — My Rant Against French Hotel Rooms

Bathing Beauty — My Rant Against French Hotel Rooms

Posted by on Sep 27, 2012 in Blog, Personal, Rants and Raves, Travel | 0 comments

 

cannes-hotel-photo

 

Americans aren’t going to like what I’m about to say.  But the French do a lot of things much better than we do.

The French are better at cooking.  They make more time to celebrate life.  Their culture exudes extraordinary art and architecture.  Even their dogs have it much better than their American counterparts — as canines are taken everywhere including airports, restaurants, and even fancy hotels.

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R.I.P. Steve Sabol — NFL Films

R.I.P. Steve Sabol — NFL Films

Posted by on Sep 18, 2012 in Blog, What's Left | 0 comments

 

 

Pro football lost a giant of a man today.

He wasn’t a player.  He never coached.  You rarely saw his face.

But you must certainly know his astonishing body of work which spanned more the four decades, and which left an indelible impression on the game that’s now been America’s real ‘national pastime” for two generations.

Steve Sabol was the architect of NFL Films.  Together with his late father, Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee Ed Sabol, the first family of NFL historians made football into something far more than just a game.

They made football into art.  Their productions were grand theater on the gridiron.  Many of their shows were inspirational and epic.  Everything they did set the bar higher, not just in sports journalism but in all media.

Their narrative often accompanied by blaring trumpets, NFL Films programming was often better than the actual games they covered.  They created legends out of players and coaches most of us had never heard of.  They tore down myths.  Indeed, Steve Sabol wore many hats — writer, historian, filmmaker, journalist, announcer and marketer.  Everything he did showed pro football in a more interesting light.

Steve Sabel’s body of work is extraordinary.  Dating back to his early days as a rival-league AFL cameraman during the mid-1960s, Sabol used his natural talents and creative energies to push the bounds of sports coverage into something grander and greater.  He not only helped to transform many athletes into heroes and legends.  More important, he made them human.

All NFL fans everywhere owe a great debt of gratitude to the late Steve Sabol.  He passed away today at the age of 69.

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