The Latest News from Poker Night in America

Read MoreHere are some random thoughts about the television show I’m currently working on, which is “Poker Night in America.”

Read MoreHere are some random thoughts about the television show I’m currently working on, which is “Poker Night in America.”

Read MoreGod: “Prayers in hospitals? Okay, I get that — not that I listen much. Way too depressing. But prayers in the Superdome? It’s enough to drive me bat-shit bonkers. Sort of like living next to the train tracks, the noise and vibration never stop.”


Here’s my analysis of this week’s NFL games. The video runs for about 36 minutes.
My win-loss record with these plays thus far is — 18 wins and 10 losses.
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Most people aren’t funny.
By this, I mean people who are not professional stand-up comedians. In other words, unless you are paid frequently to tell jokes and entertain total strangers while standing beneath a bright spotlight, then zip it, okay? While there’s a real comedian onstage talking, please keep your thoughts to yourself. Don’t interrupt the performer. Got that?
Here, let me try and make myself a little more clear:
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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Read MoreYesterday, Sheldon Adelson, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of the Las Vegas Sands Corporation, which owns and operates The Venetian Luxury Hotel Resort Casino in Las Vegas, appeared as the keynote speaker at the 2014 Global Gaming Expo, which is the world’s largest casino industry annual convention.
I attended.

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Day One at the 2014 Global Gaming Expo — otherwise known by the trifecta of letters “G2E” — included the following activities: 145 handshakes, 12 hugs, two kisses, 35 conversations, two meetings, one lunch, one dinner, 4 glasses of draft beer, 1.5 bottles of wine, 3 seminars, one question to a panel, and a brief argument with someone who works for the American Gaming Association. Plus I got to hang out with Lisa Tenner and learn about a new gambling television network. Other than that, nothing happened.

Read MoreThe fact is — backward-looking school districts and hillbilly states where sex education isn’t being taught in public schools always have the highest teen pregnancy rates.

Read MoreThis year’s convention includes a keynote address by one of the most distasteful people in America. Online poker nemesis, robber baron, political oligarch, warmonger, and all-around despicable human being Sheldon Adelson will pollute the merry gathering with his pompous views.
