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Posted by on Sep 13, 2012 in Blog, Rants and Raves | 10 comments

My Personal Boycott — 30 Things Not Permitted Inside the Dalla Household

 

sick-of-kardashian

No Kardashians Allowed!

 

ALERT!  Be advised the following items, consumer products, programs, and personalities are NOT permitted at the Dalla residence.  Any guest who shows up with any of these items will be denied entry.  For further explanations, see “footnotes” below:

 

1.  Merlot (wine)

2.  Light beer (of any kind)

3.  Any broadcast, likeness, or product endorsed by ANY one of the following — Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Simpson, or any member of the Kardashian family

4.  Margarine

5.  Any product manufactured or branded by Dell Computers

6.  Any item connected in any way (hats, t-shirts, bags, etc.) to either Full Tilt Poker or Ultimate Bet.

7.  Soft drinks of any kind (Coke, Pepsi, etc.)

8.  BMWs

9.  Anything written or published by Washington Post columnist Charles Krauthammer

10.  Infants

 

Keep Out!

 

11.  Green peas

12.  Lebron James

13.  Any Nike Products (see #12)

14.  “Lite” food products of any kind

15.  Artificial sweeteners

16.  White sugar

17.  Cowboy hats and western wear

18.  Anything branded by the New York Yankees or Boston Red Sox

19.  Italian wines

20.  Anything associated with the New England Patriots

 

Banned!

 

21.  Hummers

22.  Polyester

23.  White shoes of any kind (includes tennis shoes)

24.  High-fructose corn syrup

25.  FOX News

26.  Anything associated in any way with Donald Trump or Sheldon Adelson

27.  Tony Kornheiser from ESPN

28.  Lottery tickets

29.  Anything purchased at a Wal-Mart

30.  Special Note:  I’ll leave this one open for readers.  Give me a few things you boycott in the “comments” section.

 

This item is not permitted in my home.

 

FOOTNOTES:

[1] — Who in the fuck drinks Merlot wine when thousands of mind-blowing Cabernets, Pinots, and Zinfandels are available for under $15?  Seriously!

[2] — What’s the point of drinking “light” beer?  You might as well buy regular beer, dump a third of it down the drain, and re-fill it with fucking tap water.  Kind of like paying for a 12-ounce steak and then being thrilled if they bring you an 8-ouncer.  Ludicous!

[3] — Once upon a time, celebrities had “talent.”  Or they were famous for a reason.  No more.  It’s like everyone who’s famous has turned into a reincarnation of Charles Nelson Reilly.

[4] — Margarine is basically the same thing as eating plastic.  Here’s the ingrediants in a typical serving of margarine.  Moreover, read how this garbage is made (take the time to read if you want to get grossed out):

Source:  www.stoptransfat.com

veggie-oil blend
water
whey (milk)
salt
veggie mono & diglycerides
soy lecithin
citric acid
artificial flavors
vitamin A
beta carotene (for color)

How It’s Made:

Margarine makers start with cheap. poor quality vegetable oils, such as corn, cottonseed, soybeans, safflower seeds and canola.

These oils have already turned rancid from being extracted from oil seeds using high temperature and high pressure. Rancid oils are loaded with free radicals that react easily with other molecules, causing cell damage, premature aging and a host of other problems.

The last bit of oil is removed with hexane, a solvent known to cause cancer. Although this hexane subsequent removed, traces of it are inevitably left behind.

Moreover, some of these oils are not suitable for human consumption to begin with.

Cottonseed oil, one of the most popular margarine ingredients, has natural toxins and unrefined cottonseed oil is used as a pesticide. The toxin, gossypol, is removed during refining.

Cottonseed oil also contains far too much Omega-6 fatty acids in relation to Omega 3. While both Omega 6 and Omega 3 are essential fatty acids, an imbalance between the two is widely believed to cause various health problems, including heart disease.

Most experts on the subject believe that a healthy ratio of omega 3 to omega 6 is between 1:1 and 1:2. Cotton seed oil, however, has over 50 percent omega 6 and only trace amounts of Omega 3, giving a ratio of 1: several hundred or more.

As cotton is one of the most heavily sprayed crops, there are also concerns that cottonseed oil may be highly contaminated with pesticide residues. However, insufficient testing has been done.

Canola oil, which is widely touted as the healthiest oil of all, has problems as well. Consumption of Canola has been linked with vitamin E deficiency as well as growth retardation. For this reason, Canola oil is not allowed to be used in the manufacture of infant formula.

The oils used for making margarine are also among the Big Four genetically modified crops – soy, corn, rapeseed / Canola and cotton.

The raw oils for making margarine are steam cleaned. This destroys all the vitamins and antioxidants.

However, the residues of pesticides and solvents – that is, hexane – remain.

The oils are mixed with finely ground nickel, a highly toxic substance that serves as a catalyst for the chemical reaction during the hydrogenation process.

Other catalysts may be used, but these, too, are highly toxic.

The oils are then put under high temperature and pressure in a reactor.

Hydrogen gas is introduced. The high temperature and pressure, together with the presence of nickel catalyst, causes hydrogen atoms to be forced into the oil molecules.

If the oil is partially hydrogenated, it turns from liquid into a semi-solid.

Trans fats are formed during partial hydrogenation. These are fat molecules that have been twisted out of shape. In liquid oils, the molecules are bent, with the hydrogen atoms on opposite sides of each other.

During partial hydrogenation, the molecules are somewhat straightened and now all the hydrogen molecules are on the same side.

If the oil is fully hydrogenated, it turns into a hard solid that cannot be eaten. It no longer contains trans fats because the “out of shape” oil molecules have all been broken up to form straight chains. But this does not mean they have become healthy again because of all the unnatural steps above.

What comes out of the partial hydrogenation process is a smelly, lumpy, grey grease.

To remove the lumps, emulsifiers – which are like soaps – are mixed in.

The oil is steam cleaned (again!) to remove the odor of chemicals. This step is called deodorization and it again involves high temperature and high pressure.

The oil is then bleached to get rid of the grey color.

Synthetic vitamins and artificial flavors are mixed in.

A natural yellow color is added to margarine, as synthetic coloring is not allowed!

In fact, early last century, all coloring was not allowed and margarine was white. This was to protect consumers so that they do not get butter and margarine mixed up.

Finally, the margarine is promoted to the public as a health food – with the full endorsement of many scientists, doctors, nutritionists and health authorities.

[5] — Dell Computers is one of the high-tech industry’s leading supporters of and contributors to conservative political candidates and organzations.  Moreover, this company has a strict policy against any cross branding with casino/poker companies or services (which will be the subject of an upcoming rant, by the way).

[6] — Full Tilt Poker is a toxic brand which has done immeasurable damage to the poker industry and its players.  Ultimate Bet is/was even worse — engaging in outright fraud and thievery from its players.  Anyone who had anything to do with either of these companies (at the very least) owes the public an apology.

[7] — An occasional soft drink might not be harmful.  But how can anyone drink soda after soda all the time?  Consider the chemicals and sugars you are pouring into you body.  There’s not one nutritional element in these poisons.  Avoid them!  There are plenty of better alternatives.

[8] — After spending hundreds of hours running/exercising on Las Vegas streets and seeing which drivers are the rudest, I have a new name for the BMW — the “prickmobile.”

[9] — This editorialist is evil.  He is a horrible and dangerous man.  Read his columns if you don’t believe me (on second thought, DON’T read his columns!).

[10] — Once the baby is out of its diaper and can speak, they are welcome to cross my threshold (If accompanied by a guardian).  Otherwise, they are bascially like untrained pupppies and kittens.  They do not belong in the house.

[11] — When I was a kid, my mother made me sit at a table and eat green peas, which I hated!  One time, I think I sat there two hours in protest.  I even got the “starving children” speech.  Now, the thought of them makes me barf.

[12] — This is the most evil athlete in the history of the world.

[13] — $300 for a pair of basketball shoes?  FUCK YOU!

[14] — Anything marked “lite” is crap.  You may be reducing calories but the tradeoff is you’re killing your body with artificial ingrediants and chemicals.  Plus, all this stuff tastes like shit!

[15] — I am baffled why anyone would use artificial sweeteners.  Haven’t some of these been known to cause cancer?

[16] — White sugar should be banned.  It’s probably the most dangerous substance in the world in terms of the health problems associated with massive intake of sugar.  If you add up all the heart disease, obesity, diabetes, and so forth I suspect white sugar kills more people than cocaine.

[17] — Correction:  Cowboy hats and western belt buckles are permitted inside my home — if it’s part of a Halloween costume.

[18] — When will ESPN finally realize that the rest of the country really doesn’t give a shit what happens in New York or Boston?

[19] — Italy is known for its exquisite art and refined tastes.  Sports cars, fashion, food, fine art, music — Italy is primo!  But when it comes to producing wine, I’ll pass.  Every time I try an Italian wine — the tannins are so overwhelming — it’s like I end up with a mouthful of chalk.

[20] — The New England Patriots are 1-5 against the spread in Super Bowls!  They’re 1-4 against the spread in the Belichick era.  Wanna’ know something, people?  GOOD teams win, but GREAT teams cover.  I suffered my single biggest lost ever betting on the New England Patriots — $39,000 lost on Super Bowl XLII (by the way I had bet the AFC -3, -3.5, -4, -4.5, -5, and all those moneylines for the max — about $3,000 each — during the middle of the season.  The rest of the world was laying -12, and I was laying no more than -6, and much less on most bets.  I hedged off some, or else I would have lost more).

[21] — Who in the fuck needs to drive a Hummer, unless you are a special operations unit in Afghanistan?

[22] — Cotton is king.  Wool suits.  Leather shoes.  Silk ties (on sale).  Polyester clothes are kind of like the margarine of fashion.

[23] — Who in the fuck buys white shoes?  I mean, seriously!  You buy white shoes, knowing that just about everything you step on is filthy.  You walk across black asphalt, over dirt and mud, onto wet streets, and across grass fields.  Wearing white!  After you wear white shoes three times, they’re all scuffed up and stained and look like shit.  I will never wear a pair of white shoes!  Never!

[24] — No matter what product I see in a store, if it says “high-fructose corn syrup” on the label, it goes back on the shelf (it should go in the garbage can).  Poison.

[25] — Anyone surprised at this one?  Fox News is about as “fair and balanced” (its news slogan) as I am.

[26] — Read more about Donald Trump and Sheldon Adelson HERE

[27] — The worst announcer in the history of Monday Night Football and currrenlty the little worm on “Pardon the Interruption”……he’s utterly incapable of an intelligent thought.

[28] — Why are lotteries permitted?  Seriously?  Some people bash casinos and poker where the hold is perhaps 2-10 percent.  State lotteries hold like 50 percent of the loot.  These are nothing less than state-run criminal enterprises.  They should be stamped out immediately.

[29] — Wal-Mart — the creator of millions of shitty $8 an hour jobs, the union-busting, discriminatory company (against minorities and women) that forces virtually all of its suppliers to move their manufacturing to China, the corporate giant that kills towns and small businesses, the multi-billion dollar enterprise that denies health coverage to its employees, and the company that’s owned by some of the richest people in the world.  Yes, *that* Wal-Mart.

[30] — I’m sure Ive forgotten a few things.  Perhaps a few readers will share their own boycottts.

 

 

 

 

10 Comments

  1. I’m surprised you are so strongly anti-Walmart. I mean, even granting that all the stuff you said is true, Walmart provides a huge amount of merchandise to regular people who live in flyover states for *significantly* cheaper than they could get it otherwise, which raises their standard of living measurably. Multiply that increase by 150 million people who shop regularly and it seems that they are doing some good even if they are run by a bunch of greedy scumbags. Also if they are hurting the poor, why do the poor think more highly of Walmart than any other group?

  2. Many on your list apply at my own home. I have a particular affinity with numbers 11 and 18.

    Number one on my list, however, would be mushrooms.

  3. Add Steve Wynn to #26. He said he prefers China because Obama is a socialist!

  4. I like a good Italian Chianti, otherwise your house is like mine, well except for the baby diaper thing. My choice for number 30 is cats.

  5. Piers Morgan. Smug, no nothing, self-aggrandising idiot. I live in the UK and we don’t want him back.

  6. Some stuff to not bring to my house:
    1. Coors, Coors Light, Coors Extra Gold, or any other fucking “beer” made by this company. This includes “Killian’s” (fake Irish beer) and “Blue Moon” (fake microbrew).
    2. Decaffeinated coffee. You don’t like or can’t tolerate caffeine? There is a wide assortment of other beverages in the world that actually taste good.
    3. Zucchini. Replace “green peas” in Nolan’s story for a story from my childhood. I’ve developed a taste for just about every other vegetable I hated as a kid, but fuck zucchini.
    4. Country music. I’ll make exceptions for certain classic artists (e.g. Johnny Cash) or the “alt-country” genre, but modern country music is the nut low. It’s just all those shitty power ballads from the 1980s with a pedal steel guitar replacing a regular guitar.
    5. Jet skis. I live on a lake. It’s peaceful most of the time, except when these fuckers are on the lake. The jet skiiers are people that are too stupid to be able to drive a real boat and too lazy to paddle a kayak or canoe.

  7. Cigarette smokers

  8. Telemarketing calls!

  9. [7] I gave up soda in June of 2012. I’ve lost 20 lbs, can finally sleep nights and am less irritable. I don’t recommend going cold turkey though, as the headaches were almost unbearable.

    [30] White Sox gear. The team is in first place and they STILL can’t fill the stadium, but they have millions of “fans” wearing their gear? I’m sick of seeing the 2005 WORLD CHAMPIONS stuff all the time. You can wear that crap for one or two years maybe, but after that GIVE IT UP. IT’S HISTORY. You don’t see me walking around wearing a CUBS 1907 WORLD CHAMPIONS hats, or a CUBS 1908 WORLD CHAMPION Jackets do you?

    One exception: You are allowed to wear your CHICAGO WHITE SOX 1909 CHEATERS logowear. Just make sure there’s a footnote saying SHOELESS JOE JACKSON NOT INCLUDED.

  10. for various reasons i disagree w 1, 5, 9, 18, 20, 25, 28 and 29. although i almost agree with merlot i wonder if you’ve ever tried petrus. As for #19, i recommend a good amarone. the rest are mostly political differences. i do agree w 3, 4, 6, 7, 14, 15, 16, 19 and 24. at least we agree on healthy eating.

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