Some Personal Advice — Never Try to Eat Chili While Driving
I’m one of those drivers you absolutely hate.
I yap on the cell phone while driving.
I text while driving.
I fiddle with the music on my iPod while driving.
I eat while driving — many times with a knife and fork (fortunately, the car has good alignment so I don’t need to have my hands on the wheel).
I used to shave while driving — that was before I quit shaving.
As for drinking while driving, let’s just not go there. Don’t ask, don’t tell.
But one thing I most certainly will not never do again is eat a bowl of hot chili while driving.
En route from Las Vegas to Lake Tahoe a few days ago, I stopped off in Bishop, CA There was no way in hell I was going to waste 20 minutes sitting in the restaurant eating, when the more practical thing was to get the food “to go.” I call this multi-tasking.
Well, you can see what happened from the photo above. I won’t even show you what my shirt looked like, which now pretty much looks like an infant’s bib. I dribbled chili all over myself like a two-year-old. Fortunately, the chili wasn’t steaming hot or it might have burned the family jewels.
Which leads me to wonder — if I scorched my crotch eating hot chili, could I sue the restaurant for a million dollars like the bat-shit crazy hot coffee lady?
as your attorney, i might give you some advice: yes, you could sue for a million dollars. but you won’t win.
and as your friend, i might give you some more advice: your life is a little more important than talking on a cell phone this instant, sending a text message this instant, or doing any of those other dumb things.
i earned a nice living defending cases brought against people who did the things you’ve listed.
If it were April 1, I would have known this blog was a joke. Are you punking your friends & fans? I hope so! Intelligent folks just wouldn’t drive so dangerously & we all know you are ever-so-smart! So fess up. It was a joke … right?