I’m one of those drivers you absolutely hate.
I yap on the cell phone while driving.
I text while driving.
I fiddle with the music on my iPod while driving.
I eat while driving — many times with a knife and fork (fortunately, the car has good alignment so I don’t need to have my hands on the wheel).
I used to shave while driving — that was before I quit shaving.
As for drinking while driving, let’s just not go there. Don’t ask, don’t tell.
But one thing I most certainly will not never do again is eat a bowl of hot chili while driving.
En route from Las Vegas to Lake Tahoe a few days ago, I stopped off in Bishop, CA There was no way in hell I was going to waste 20 minutes sitting in the restaurant eating, when the more practical thing was to get the food “to go.” I call this multi-tasking.
Well, you can see what happened from the photo above. I won’t even show you what my shirt looked like, which now pretty much looks like an infant’s bib. I dribbled chili all over myself like a two-year-old. Fortunately, the chili wasn’t steaming hot or it might have burned the family jewels.
Which leads me to wonder — if I scorched my crotch eating hot chili, could I sue the restaurant for a million dollars like the bat-shit crazy hot coffee lady?