Seems like the only time most of us think about poker dealers is when one makes a mistake.
Think about it.
In my twenty-plus years in this business, I can’t remember too many players coming up and saying, “you know, the dealers in this tournament were wonderful.” But if there’s a mistake or a misdeal, the controversy can generate a 50-page thread on 2+2.
Millions of hands are dealt out at the World Series of Poker every year. When you add up not just what happens in the gold bracelet events, but all the satellites, sit-n-go’s, and cash games running 24-hours-a-day across 400 poker tables, that’s almost an incalculable number of cards pitched and pots pushed.
What’s the most annoying string of words that stream from the human mouth, other than “Can I borrow money?” Consider these three words: How are you? Other variations of this persistent irritation include the following — How’s it going? What’s going on? You doing okay?
Quit it. Just stop. I’m begging you.
What’s the point of all this worthless time-wasting drivel? Do you really want to know my current state of affairs — about how furious I am right now with Nevada State Bank for hitting me with those overdraft charges, the car leaking oil, my plantar fasciitis killing me, the bookies wanting their money, and current the state of affairs in Syria?
How am I, you dare to ask? Look at me. I’m working from noon until 3 am every day inside a building that’s so cold it could refrigerate meat. I’ve got bronchitis and it’s 109 degrees outside. Oh, and one of the companies I work for is $22 billion in debt and in bankruptcy. How the fuck do you think I am?
Fact is, you don’t really care. So, don’t ask. Clam up and snap it shut. Unless you have something really important to say to me, stand clear and keep quiet. Got it?
When you do approach me, there are certain rules and procedures to follow.
Trivia question. Identify the following individual.
Who’s ranked in the top ten of most cashes in history at the World Series of Poker….and who has won two career WSOP gold bracelets….and who’s earned more than $5.5 million just in poker tournaments alone….and who’s cashed in the Main Event Championship four consecutive years (then, a record)….and who made the world championship final table the same year Stu Ungar won his last title….and yet, who plays poker only part-time, with the bulk of his actual winnings as a full-time professional gambler coming from not from cards, but rather from sports wagering and horseracing?
Here’s another hint: He’s one of the least conspicuous players in poker, seemingly invisible inside any cardroom, yet is a giant among gamblers because he’s not only overcome the odds and prospered for so long in such a variety of different endeavors — somehow managing to support himself by one holy virtue –which is looking for edges and then pouncing on opportunity; Just as impressive, he’s always conducts himself with pure class.
So, who is this person we may have seen but probably don’t know? The correct answer is: Chris Bjorin
Rep Porter, a two-time World Series of Poker gold bracelet winner, outlasted nearly 430 players on Friday afternoon in “The Colossus,” billed as the biggest poker tournament in history. Given more that 22,000 players are expected to enter this mega-competition, that meant Porter could enjoy bragging rights for coming in 21,612th place.*
Porter never had an above-average stack of chips at any point in the tournament and would have gone largely unnoticed, had it not been for his early elimination and subsequent walk of shame, wallowing through nearly 2,000 players packed like sardines inside the bustling Pavilion Room, at the Rio Las Vegas.
When asked to explain the humiliation, Porter snapped, “What can I say? I ran out of chips. I didn’t want to leave. But once I was out of chips, they wouldn’t deal me any more cards.”
Along the rail, Porter was welcomed by another former gold bracelet winner, licking his wounds and sharing his bad beat story with anyone in the surrounding area who would listen. Ken Aldridge, a used car salesman from North Carolina, couldn’t even outlast Porter.
When asked to comment, Aldridge said, “I hope to make it past the first level next time. I can’t believe Rep Porter finished higher than me in this event. Please don’t tell anyone, okay? That would look really bad if that were to get out.”
He’s a hardworking member of the Rio Security Team helping to keep everyone safe at this year’s World Series of Poker, taking place now through July 15th.
As this short video reveals, Garcon takes his job very seriously! He’s a gorgeous Belgian Malinois, a breed known for their fierce loyalty, intelligence, and agility.
You might see Garcon and some of his other doggie friends around the poker tables at this year’s series. If you do, enjoy their spirit and dedication. But please do let them do their job. Garcon and his pals will stay plenty busy keeping us all safe and secure!