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Posted by on May 17, 2013 in Blog, General Poker, Rants and Raves | 3 comments

Any Poker Player Who Buys a Lottery Ticket is an Idiot!

 

Lottery-Ticket-poster

 

In response to all the hype about tomorrow’s $500 million jackpot, I have a comment.

Any poker player who buys a lottery ticket is an idiot.

Ooops.  Allow me to revise that.

Anyone who buys a lottery ticket is an idiot.  However, poker players deserve to be singled out as a special class.  They should know better.

 

What else would you call someone who plays a mindless game where the rake is something like 45 percent?  Not only that, but you might have to wait for hours in line to participate (check out the ridiculous lines at some ticket outlets)?  Then, in the 1 in a gad-zillion chance that your lottery numbers do come up, about half of your winnings get skunked by inflation over 20 years plus taxes.  Even the lump-sum collectors take it in the ass big time.

Really smart.

It’s like ordering a 16-ounce steak and then getting served a hamburger.

But why poker players deserve to be singled out, ridiculed, and ass-kicked bears elaboration.  It’s because supporting this ludicrous frenzy of national stupidity is in clear conflict with our own self-interest.  Lottery hacks and the carnival hucksters who promote this sideshow pornography are THE ENEMY.  Lottery pimps now hold state budgets by the balls.  They squeeze and shake until governors and legislators squirm like helpless rabbits.

These thieves aren’t content with merely fucking the public out of 45 percent juice on the gross.  That’s not enough.  They’re not satisfied jerking off a hundred million morons who buy lottery tickets each year.

No.

Now they’ve become political activists.  They are working to kill online poker and any other form of gambling they view as a threat.  Keep the customers stupid is their game plan.  Give citizens only one option when it comes to games of chance and entertainment.  Kill any other form of gambling.  The lottery wants it all and they’re currently doing everything they can to subvert attempts in many states to expand poker.

Anyone who supports legalizing online poker inside the United States — and I presume that’s most of you reading this right now — needs to take close look at where that money is going.  Even if it’s just a buck.  It’s like pissing inside your own glass.  You’re part of the problem.  In exchange for your naive pipe dream of becoming the next big jackpot winner, you’re financing poker’s strictest gauntlet of opposition.  Well done!

That’s right.  Every buck you blow at the convenience market bolsters the revenues and political power of state lottery boards, fat cat lottery executives, and lecherous companies that have worked and lobbied tirelessly to oppose every single online poker initiative — no matter where it has surfaced.  Do some research.  Look into what the heads of these lotteries have written and said about poker.  It’s all there.  They oppose it all.

Buying a lottery ticket is like feeding the dragon.  It’s giving bonuses to companies and executives who are working against you and your interest, as well as your freedoms.  You’re hurting online poker and live poker and all those who want to play the game.

Fuck the lottery.  Fuck every state lottery executive.  And fuck every poker player who buys a lottery ticket.

Shame on you!

3 Comments

  1. I wonder whether it would be possible (pr practical, or productive) to organize a grassroots campaign to boycott the lottery? I sure as heck would rather have a casino nearby (and have online poker be legal.) And if public pressure forced the commission to improve the competitiveness of the lottery, its sacred-cash-cow image (as a provider of free money for the state to do anything it wants with) would decline too…

  2. Guilty as charged sir. I feel a deep moral obligation to do my part to try to get this money in the hands of someone who will do something useful with it and I expect you to submit a complete retraction after I win. 🙂

  3. I concur, Mr. Dalla, from a statistical and political point. If I were to guess as to the reason why people who know this information still partake in the lottery, it would be either “the jackpot is now so large that for $1 the odds are closer to being in my favor” or “John Dickinson: Don’t forget that most men with nothing would rather protect the possibility of becoming rich than face the reality of being poor.” (via 1776)

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