Tuesdays With Nolan

Random thoughts about everything and nothing on a Tuesday afternoon.

Forget Morrie.

1. I look forward to watching PBS Frontline tonight, which is on the Houston Astros cheating scandal in 2017. I find the documentary far more interesting than actually watching baseball.

2. The MLB playoffs start tonight, which I’ll be betting on, but not watching. My only curiosity is about the hapless Minnesota Twins who seem to win the division every other year, yet haven’t won a single playoff game in 19 years (that’s 18 straight playoff losses, I believe). If the Twins beat the Bleu Jays today, they should crack open the champagne. Full Disclosure: I took the bait and bet Minnesota. I’ve got a bottle of Anna de Codorniu Brut Reserva Blanc de Blancs on ice.

3. Hey, Minnesota Twins — any chance you can get an advance copy of Frontline and learn a few tricks? I’ve got $$$ riding on you.

4. Yuck! Boiling chicken fat makes such a repulsive smell. It makes me wonder–why am I eating chicken?

5. I’m filming a sportsbook segment this afternoon at a local casino. On camera maybe 2 minutes. When I asked them what they wanted from me, they just said, “be yourself.” Holy shit! Does that mean I get to be a curmudgeon and drop a string of F-bombs?

6. F1 has turned Las Vegas into a complete clusterfuck.

7. I’m jealous as hell about Sphere and U2 opening last weekend. I saw many friends went and posted glowing raves about the new venue. I can’t wait to go, but admit the ticket prices are a deterrent. This is a bucket list item.

8. I have a message for Republican House Speaker Kevin McCarthy: “Whaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaa… whaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaa,” (catching my breath), “Whaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaa… whaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaa.”

9. Trump’s idiot attorney forgot to check the box on the legal form. The MAGA tart has been paid $2 million in legal fees, and the trial hasn’t even started yet. I have a message for Habba Habba Doo, “whaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaa… whaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaa.”

10. Marieta is making me do yard work this week. Replacing bricks, stucco, painting. I’ll get to it eventually. Hopefully, next week. Or, the week after. Or, maybe next month. Oh, damn — is it Thanksgiving already?

Okay, bring back Morrie.