The Experiences That Shape Us and Make Us Who We Are (Hopefully Better People)
This largely forgotten photograph popped up on my Facebook feed today and it triggered a few thoughts and even some memories that I’d like to share.
They’re particularly timely in today’s toxic social and cultural environment, with important lessons for us all–should we make the attempt to learn from them.
This image comes from the controversial closing scene of a 1971 episode of “All in the Family,” on CBS. I’d forgotten entirely about this groundbreaking episode, that is, until this morning while reflecting on the life and work of Normal Lear, the show’s creator, director, and driving force.
The episode is titled “Judging Books by Covers.” The short version of the show’s plot is Archie Bunker (Carroll O’Connor), the show’s lovable bigot, meets a college friend of hippie son-in-law Michael Stivic (Rob Reiner). The friend had long hair, carries a man purse, and seems flambouyant. Repulsed by someone who’s “apparently” gay, Archie storms out of the house and takes refuge at his favorite neighborhood bar. There, he runs into an old pal of his own, an athletic-looking man who is the embodiment of masculinity. Archie complains about the “fag” coming into his house, and that’s when he gets slammed by a ton of bricks.
While arm wrestling (how perfect!), Archie’s muscled up buddy reveals……bang!
Well, you can guess the revelation.
During the Norman Lear tributes (all highly-deserved), he was credited with many positive progressive influences on American society. Normal Lear made us better people. No doubt, his television programs reshaped popular opinion. However, I had forgotten just how risky this particular episode was when it first premiered on a Saturday night on February 9, 1971 and was broadcast into tens of millions of American living rooms, and minds who had never before been confronted with such a stark re-evaluation of “reality.”
Think for a minute. “All in the Family” had only been on prime time TV for a few months. Some execs wanted it cancelled. No show in history had EVER focused on the topic of homosexuality. Even those characters in previous years that seemed “gay,” weren’t acknowledged as such. Moreover, these characters were looked upon as clowns, comedic eccentricities, and oddballs. Portraying an openly-gay person in a positive light was UNTHINKABLE.
Allow me to elaborate because understanding these times is important. CBS had cancelled the “Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour” less than two years earlier because it was considered too controversial. Even in New York, being gay might as well have been a crime. The Stonewall Inn (a gay bar) was raided and started a riot. And now, in the winter of 1971, the top-rated show on CBS was going to feature a GAY CHARACTER and portray him as normal and appealing? This was blasphemy.
Even President Richard Nixon was outraged, as these since-released White House tapes reveal.
Full confession. I was lucky to have two extraordinary parents. They always exposed me to everything in media, and I feel more enlightened and tolerant for it. We watched “All in the Family” as a weekly ritual on Saturday nights. I don’t remember that specific episode, because I was only nine years old at the time. But that’s certainly the first time in my life I was ever confronted with the issue of homosexuality or the concept of tolerance for people (and good people) who may live different lifestyles than our own. I’m certain this show, and others like it, shaped my worldview. Perhaps if you are of a certain age and remember those times, you too were wiser and more enlightened. Thank goodness, for that. I feel sorry for those hidden, indeed caged, behind the blinders of hate and fear.
Of course, the show pissed off lots of conservatives and religious people. Funny how conservatives and religious people are so often on the WRONG side of history. Always, it seems. Today, while we’ve come very far, we still have a long way to go. Many of the objections hurled at progressives in 1971 encompasses the same messaging in 2024 on similar “woke” topics. How shameful. Just remember, the same destructive ideas that poison the MAGA movement were the same bitter seeds of hate an intolerance……52 years ago.
So, I consider myself extraordinarily fortunate not to have been sheltered. I consider myself extraordinarily fortunate to being exposed to ideas and concepts that challenged what I thought before and a conventional worldview. I consider myself extraordinarily fortunate that brave artists and creative forces like this show were there at a primal point in my life. Just think of all the unfortunate people in America and around the world who DO NOT and DID NOT have these wonderful moments of epiphany. How sad.
Hopefully, sharing this makes you and all of us realize just how vital these special moments early in our lives are to shaping who we are and what we believe today.
All of what we believe and ponder is mental arm wrestling. The greatest force is truth, and honestly, and love, and courage, and ultimately……revelation.
