The Coronation Abomination

Someone, please explain why in the year 2023 there’s still such a thing as a “king.”

In a nation pressed with severe domestic needs – including a public health crisis – what can possibly justify squandering a whopping $125 million of the nation’s treasury on a “coronation?” This exorbitant cost comes atop the millions just spent on the late Queen’s *11-day* funeral last year. I mean, what’s up with that? I know a cremation service down the street that could have had the whole job over and done in 48 hours for 900 bucks (note-they only take cash). Then, there’s the $110 million this dysfunctional family of inbreds leeches off British taxpayers every single year.

Seriously, why are these preposterous and loathsome medieval traditions of royalty — constant bowing and fawning, mass serfdom, and so-called superiority by birthright — still a thing?

Explain it to me like I’m a clueless American foreigner because I just don’t get it.