Election Night Whine

My election companion bottle of 337 Cabernet, one of the most underrated wines on the market.

It’s 6 pm here in Las Vegas and I’m presently doing what I do every two years — watching election results.

Call it the political Super Bowl for election junkies.  CNN crack.

The trouble this evening is, we progressives don’t have a team to cheer for.  We didn’t make a bet on this game.  In a sense, we were losers going into election day.  We loath the Republicans for who they are, what they stand for, and all they represent.  But most of the Democrats don’t deserve our support either.  Like I said, tonight is like watching Jacksonville play Oakland on Monday Night Football and not having a bet on the outcome.  It’s the “who the fuck cares” bowl.

Call me cynical.

That said, let’s take a look at some things progressives should be watching and rooting for this evening:

— Jeanne Shaheen absolutely MUST win as a Democrat running for the Senate in New Hampshire.  If she loses, it’s all over for the Democrats.  Tell Harry Reid to pack his shit and move out of his office as Majority Leader (which almost makes me want to see Republican Scott Brown win the race).

— Mark Warner, the incumbent Democrat, losing in Virginia would be a disaster.  That’s another race to watch closely.

— Greg Orman as the Independent needs to win the race in Kansas.  If Pat Roberts, the horrendous Republican candidate wins that race, I hereby advocate a move to remove that state from the union.

— Mitch McConnell is a disgrace.  I can’t believe this horrible man was re-elected.  Congratulations, Kentucky.  You’ve become a political laughingstock.  Oh, wait a minute.  You were that already.  Nothing’s changed.

— Any college student who votes for John Kline, the whore Republican who was targeted in Bill Maher’s “Flip a District” campaign, deserves to be buried with $100,000 in student debt with a 16 percent interest rate.  Kline is on the take from for-profit colleges and in the pocket of big banks.  Re-electing him would be a disgrace.

— My wildest projection of the night (lock it in on Google right now):  Tom Cotton, who was just elected as the youngest U.S. Senator at age 37, will become the Republican candidate for President within ten years and quite possibly the next G.O.P. winner of the White House.  This is a rising star within the Republican Party.  Get used to hearing his name.  Barring something unforeseen at the moment, this guy is going to the top.  Yes, he’s awful.  But Republicans elect awful.

— Rooting for Wendy Davis, the Democrat running for Texas Governor.  She can’t win in this midterm cycle but watch her closely in the future.  Anything within 5-10 percentage points is a win for Davis, sort of like covering the spread.

— See what I told everyone?  President Obama playing golf all summer was suicidal for Democrats.  That painful image of the “golfer-in-chief” out on the tee box will be the lasting impression which ends up costing his party badly in the midterms and likely means two more years of total gridlock in Washington.  This election was all about a referendum on President Obama and despite glowing accomplishments and saving the economy, the President abdicated the public relations battle.  A lazy, disinterested President cost his party control of the United States Senate.

Note:  I might add to this as the night progresses (or regresses), depending on how things go.  Check out FACEBOOK for more updates and comments.