Kids Say the Meanest Things

Damned kids.

They say some really mean things sometimes.

Take for instance when I’m out running.

When I run during the morning, that’s about the time of day when the kids are going to school.  On weekdays, I mean.  That means the children from a nearby elementary school are usually walking on the sidewalks.  Most of the kids are between the ages of 6 and 10.  While running, I often pass them by without paying much notice.  But sometimes I can’t help but hear their smart-ass comments.  Little shits.

You wouldn’t believe what those bastard kids say sometimes.

In the last few months, I’ve heard the following comments from these children:

“Look at that old guy.”

“Look at that fat man.”

“Look at that old fat man.”

“Here comes Santa Claus.”

Can you believe that?  Fucking Santa Claus?  Candy-ass punks.

Well, let me tell you kids something.  I’ve heard enough unnecessary meanness.  All these kids addicted to pop tarts and video games.  Total brats.  That’s what they are.  They show me no respect.

This meanness leaves me no alternative.  From now on, I will not run next to the children.  They’re not going to use me as a target.  So, I’ll do my running on the other side of the street.  Then, if they say something, I won’t hear them.  There’s nothing more demoralizing than to be out there slogging along in the blazing heat and hearing some little shit popping off about me looking like I’m already dead.

That said, I do have one favor to ask of these children.  If I do happen to drop to the pavement and pass out while running, do pull out your $500 cell phone, and please dial 911 immediately.  Tell them an old fat guy who looks like Santa Claus needs an ambulance.  Quick.

Thanks.

You little shits.