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Posted by on Apr 9, 2021 in Blog | 2 comments

Shove the worthless mannequin in a box and bury it.

 

 

My thoughts on the death of Prince Philip, an utterly worthless invisible speck of nothingness who sucked the British treasury dry for 99 useless years, decorated by the trappings of royal tradition — in other words, a mannequin.

 

Someone named Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh died today.

He’s commonly referred to as a “royal,” as though this somehow confers superiority.  His privileged birth and carefree 99-years of life in luxury at the expense of everyone around him doesn’t merit respect nor wasn’t worth marveling over.  Not even for a millisecond.  Stoic.  Silent.  Sullen.  He was much more a mannequin than a man, a crusty mold of stale nothingness who rarely spoke nor mattered at all except as gossip fodder, a dusty reminder of medieval toxicity and the public’s collective inexplicable obsession with fame and fortune and royalty.

Yet, according to Bill Chewing, here’s what “loyal subjects” of the United Kingdom shall endure in the coming weeks and months:

— The Crown controls many elements of the nation’s mourning.

— The Queen will suspend her duties for 8 days. Then, there will be a 30-day Royal mourning period and a 10-day national mourning period.

— Union flags must be flown at half-mast.

— All members of Parliament will be required to wear black armbands, and males will also wear black ties.

— News reporters will be required to wear black clothing.

— Comedy shows will be temporarily canceled during the 10-day national mourning period.

— Radio stations will not be permitted to broadcast upbeat, cheerful music. They will be required to play “somber” music.

— The official mourning protocols for The Queen have been planned since the ’60s and are referred to as “Operation London Bridge.” They are more extensive. There are also coordinating plans for her mourning in place for Australia, New Zealand, and Canada.

Congratulations to members of the so-called royal court who broke away, who spoke out, and who are apparently destined to carve out their own path in life crafting their own identities.  Meanwhile, let us forget and bury these ancient relics of history and tradition like Mr. Philip, who have no place in a 21st-century world.

Bury them and forget them.

2 Comments

  1. 99 years is a good run. What a sweet gig, except for the part where you have to sleep with the queen of England.

    Is that list of protocol legit? Fuck that.

    A bunch of inbreds, bye.

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