Politically Mixed Marriages
“MIXED” MARRIAGES
Question: For many Americans, politics has become far more personal, and divisive, than it once was. How has this trend impacted marriages and romantic relationships? We’ll discuss that here.
I’m curious about mixed marriages. I’m talking about — politically-mixed marriages.
The current gender gap in presidential polls is both striking and real (and widening). According to most polling data, Kamala Harris is the preferred presidential candidate by a gap of about 20 percentage points among women. However, Trump is the choice by almost the same margin among men.
Given that roughly half of the adult population is married, and large numbers of Americans are linked by civil unions and/or involved in other close male-female relationships, this means that MILLIONS of people must make their politically-mixed love connections work. What I want to know is — how do they get along? How can two people have such stark opposing views about issues, current events, and the state of the nation, yet still stay together and by happy?
Obviously, many of these couples are apolitical or mostly indifferent to the current climate of deep division. Lack of daily political engagement would account for marital political differences of opinion being little more than minor vexations of expression, which rarely surface. Perhaps disputes are infrequent, or never happen. So, the varying degrees of political conviction and activism might explain peace at home. But there’s also been a seismic shift that’s impossible to dismiss. Until Trump burst upon the national scene and altered our political discourse starting in 2015, partisan divides along party lines weren’t usually as deep nor as disruptive between family and friends. Relationships with two people with opposing voting habits were common. Let’s also acknowledge the powerful impact of social media and perception, which tends to amplify all things, including divisions.
I grew up among many politically mixed marriages (and just as many religious mixed marriages). Again, this was a common thing in many communities. However, we’ve sunk into a much deeper and disruptive divide and I’m not sure all relationships will survive this new era of personal awareness and expression. Indeed, Trump’s turbulence is so potent that many will be impacted indelibly by it. One presumes the toxic nature of politics today has carried over into families–and marriages. This isn’t the simple Republican-Democratic divide of pre-2016. No Democrat was horrified that their spouse voted for John McCain or Mitt Romney (the 2008 and 2012 nominees before Trump in 2016, 2020, and 2024). For many, Trump is simply a political bridge and an abomination too far. How many of us has lost respect for friends and family members because of politics? Probably, many. Presumably, this would extend into many marriages, as well.
Data reveals the number of politically-mixed marriages is declining, particularly within the last decade. This is clearly a by-product of a divided nation, at large. According to the Institute for Family Studies and their research: Analysis suggests that (since 2016), the share of politically-mixed marriages in the U.S. has declined. The share of marriages between a Democrat and a Republican dropped by about 25 percent. So, the share of politically-mixed marriages has been trending down, at least in recent years.
This could be a sticky question for some readers, especially if you’re directly involved and impacted. I’m sure it’s an awkward situation for many. Perhaps you can look around at other relationships and make some guesses.
So, how do they make things work and stay together? Is this divide just a temporary (decade-long) phase, and will we eventually return to a calmer political environment? Certainly, millions of people and countless marriages have been stressed out, as evidenced by the gender gap. What does this mean for our emotional health and long-term social patterns? Assuming it continues, could the gender gap make dating, and by inference marriages also, more challenging and perhaps even contribute towards a decline in traditional male-female matrimony?
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Addendum: I’ll take this a step further as to the social impacts of the current political divide. During the Trump Administration (2017-2021), the Washington, D.C. dating scene was in the midst of a crisis. Many single Trump-supporting newcomers (mostly male) who flooded into town after Republicans swept the White House and both chambers of Congress complained there were few dating opportunities. The vast majority of female prospects who worked in Washington were Democrats and/or leaned liberal on most issues. More recently, the American Survey Center asked “are conservative men struggling to get dates?” The answer was (and remains) — yes according to data. Naturally, this “problem” has a much wider range of political, social, and cultural implications–and some could be troubling and even dangerous.
