Pardon My Interruption: Let’s Call It “Sports Porn”
PARDON MY INTERRUPTION:
JUST CALL IT “SPORTS PORN”
(WHY DO PEOPLE FOLLOW SPORTS TALK SHOWS?)
What I’m about to write and post here may be unexpected, and perhaps even hypocritical. With that disclaimer, I now ask — does anyone watch and follow any of the countless sports talk shows?
This is a strange question to ask coming from someone (me) who spends considerable amounts of time and writes a helluva’ lot about sports–mostly on sports gambling. I also derive part of my income from discussing sports-related topics. Hence, this isn’t just a hobby nor a casual interest for me. We can debate the value (or lack thereof) of spending many hours following sports, which in many ways are a massive drain on society.
However, sports are a big part of what I do, and likely will continue doing. I freely admit internal conflict.
Yet — for all the sports I admittedly consume, I NEVER watch nor listen to any of the sports talk shows. None. Zippo. I’m referring to the innumerable television shows with boring media personalities jousting with each other over the latest ball game, play call, draft pick, or fumble. It’s truly astonishing how many sports-related programs are streamed on television, 24/7, year-around, which do seem to outnumber similar “talking head” formats which instead are focused on the news and world events. The numbers become downright criminal when we add in sports-related podcasts and online fan forums. Forget Fentanyl. We’re addicted to sports! Balls in so many shapes are the contemporary crack pipes laced with mass cultural bread and circuses. [Sidebar: That last sentence was really fun to write.]
Sure, I understand why some fans might be interested in tonight’s Boston Celtics’ game. Or, Aaron Rodgers’ career plan. Or, who will makeup the Dodgers’ pitching rotation. Or, how much the Dolphins are paying a backup wide receiver. But are these trivial details really more important than orchestrated genocide in the Middle East? Or, the looming threat to American democracy on the horizon? Or, thousands of people losing everything in raging wildfires (which are likely a preamble to many more climate-related disasters to come)?
What the fuck, people!
Sure, sports can be a welcome diversion from the never-ending problems of the real world. Perhaps sports are even a necessity for our collective physical and emotional recreation. But when the games aren’t being played, I do wonder why anyone would devote obscene numbers of hours-days-weeks-months-years WATCHING other people ***TALK!!!*** about sports. Watching sports = good. Watching people ***TALK!!!*** about sports? Seriously, I just don’t get it.
Let me put it in crass terms. Watching porn is more constructive than tuning into Cornheiser and Wilbon. At least with porn, it’s open, honest, and there’s something really exciting going on. Yet those two bearded all-headed bozos have been on ESPN for 30 years! Fuck me as to how and why.
Yeah, that’s the ticket. That’s exactly what all these shows are — sports porn. Tribal carnal knowledge. A mind tickle. A temporary fix. An echo chamber fantasy. A projection of ourselves into the action.
He shoots! He scores!
I can’t stand sports talk shows. I fail to understand why anyone wastes time watching them. Comments welcome. Join the discussion on Facebook CLICK HERE:
