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Posted by on Apr 7, 2014 in Blog, Las Vegas, Rants and Raves, Restaurant Reviews, Talking Points | 10 comments

My Rant About Results of the Las Vegas Review-Journal Annual “Readers’ Poll”

 

 

Give me props.

This year, I made it all the way to page 16.  That’s when I finally blew up and burned the newspaper.

By then, I’d had enough.

Of course, I’m talking about the Las Vegas Review-Journal’s annual “Readers’ Poll.”  Every year the readers of the city’s biggest newpaper send in their picks for their favorite this and that, which are tallied up and later released as the winners of the “Best of Las Vegas” awards.

Categories include everything from the best dry cleaners to the best Thai food.  The guide runs about 50 pages long and covers just about everything you can possibly think of — and then some.  And I made it all the way to page 16.

Hooray!

This latest edition of “Talking Points” features my immediate response upon seeing this year’s results for the first time.  As you might expect, there’s excessive profanity.

The top video above shows the 32-minute version (shorted from 47 minutes because the battery went dead on my iPad).  The lower video below shows the aftermath, which is the newpaper burning in the back yard because I couldn’t stand it, and stormed off in disgust.

 

 

 

10 Comments

  1. Oh, my I died laughing. I was a little afraid it was going to be a snuff film with that rocking chair and you were close to self-emulation! I love your passion, and great wine pour, but the Van Morrison Tee was everything. I work in marketing so trust and believe “the readers” were cognizant of advertising dollars, funny how that works. Really, the Las Vegas Review Journal should just hire you to write up a comprehensive list of the best places to eat. I would buy that.

  2. I forgot to leave you with my John Pinette joke. (He was a stand up comedian who just died over the weekend.) Go and to youtube and see his act on all-you-can-eat Chinese Buffets. He was very heavy and lost over 200lbs recently.
    “You know how they say in every fat person there’s a skinny person waiting to come out? Well, mine came out, and mine was fat.” RIP John Pinette

    • After listening to a lot of Pinette’s routines on Sirius, we decided to go see him when he came to our neck of the woods. Worth every penny. The man was hilarious.

      I was looking forward to seeing him again when he played Atlantic City, but “nay nay.” Very sad.

  3. Two things:

    First, this is exactly like having a conversation with Nolan. You say a few words to start and then he goes off on an epic rant and you can never again get a word in edgewise.

    Second, a mixologist is a bartender who crafts artisan cocktails.

  4. Well.. I enjoyed this one too – But I like to eat. So..

    Suuuup with the rocking chair?

  5. Great Rant! Delaware Magazine has the same type of polls filled with the same uninformed opinions as to what is “The Best of”

    However, the mall across from the Wynn is the Fashion Show Mall…not the Forum; The Black Bear is open from 6am – 10pm And yes the Pies are great! and lastly there 3 species of crows in Vegas, Black-billed Magpi (Pica hudsonia) American Crow (Corvus brachyrhynchos) and the
    Common Raven (Corvus corax)

  6. Nolan, you’re one of my heroes and this is a shining example of why.

  7. It seems to me the readers generally did better in categories without a chain answer.

    I think it’s a tossup between PF Chang’s and Joe’s Crab Shack for the most horrifying choice. No, it is definitely Joe’s. Had a bottom 10 for my life meal at one.

    You left out some categories, so maybe Domino’s won best pizza and McDonald’s best breakfast.

  8. A while back a friend and I managed to figure out what PF Chang meant in Chinese. The translation? “House of Goopy Brown Sauce”

  9. Watching the video reminded me of that scene in A Clockwork Orange when Malcolm McDowell was strapped into the chair with his eyelids held open, but done comically. Both men volunteered for the ride and it broke them both.

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