No Blade of Grass (Movie Review)

Dragging suitcases across Scotland really sucks, but things are about to go from bad to worse in “No Blade of Grass.”

NO BLADE OF GRASS (1970)
[RETRO-MOVIE REVIEW]

While channel surfing a few nights ago, my remote landed on 256 and Turner Classic Movies.

A film I’d never heard of before was starting, titled No Blade of Grass. The film — based on a cautionary tale of a book, “The Death of Grass,” supposedly apocalyptic fiction — was published in 1956.

I asked some friends on Facebook if they’d ever seen or heard of this film, and (so far), no one has. So, I’m sharing a mini-retro review here.

The plot sounded eerily familiar to those of us living through COVID-19. A viral pandemic breaks out, originating in China. At first, no one in the West takes the threat seriously. When measures are introduced to stop the spread of the virus, which has no cure, conspiracy wackos air their grievances. Then, the food chain gets interrupted and food isn’t as readily available. People begin to panic.

Hooked 20 minutes in, I felt compelled to watch the rest of the movie. After all, I had to learn of our….err, uhh — their fate.

Hopelessly underbudgeted, with no star actors, this British film is so bad that it’s actually pretty good. Faced with increasing levels of desperation, so-called “normal” people become increasingly hostile, even dangerous.  The situation deteriorates to the point they will murder each other to survive.

No Blade of Grass is based on the premise that the world was already wildly out of control in 1970, which makes one wonder how much *additional* damage we’ve done in another half-century. Think if it this way: Industrial pollution, nuclear testing, aerosol sprays opening up a giant hole in the Ozone Layer, the mass use of pesticides, and the contamination of water sources create a planet that can’t take it anymore. The ecological system collapses. A mysterious virus begins killing all living things — plants, animals, and people.

The film shows an affluent British family that tries to escape London. They hope to find refuge at their summer cottage in Scotland. As food begins to run out, the cities become war zones. Farmers in the countryside set up roadblocks to inhibit the mass exodus. Desertions in the police and military create a Mad Max world of crazed tribes, without any of the comedic relief in the cult classics made in the ’80s.

But Mad Max had glorious moments of dark comedy. Conversely, this is one of the darkest and most depressing films imaginable, with graphic violence (somewhat surprising for its time, which I ascribe to movie codes being lessened, which initially sparked a surprising number of shockingly violent films). As the family travels further north, they also begin to see dead animals everywhere. All animals have begun to die or are already dead from the virus and/or starvation.

The only comedic moment in the film is completely unintentional. The London family gets close to the farm in Scotland, but finds it’s occupied. That kinda’ sucks that they can’t call the police. Then, they run into a biker gang. Think of the Hell’s Angels, only in England. A shootout breaks out, which may be one of the worst gunfights ever filmed. Somehow, the family wipes out about 60 guys, all armed, on motorcycles.

So, what happens at the end?  First, here’s the trailer:

–SPOILER ALERT–

Everybody dies. All the people on earth starve to death.

Have a nice day, everyone!