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Posted by on Nov 16, 2014 in Blog | 4 comments

Riding the Teaser Wheel (My NFL Week 11 Picks)

 

NFL: San Francisco 49ers at New Orleans Saints

 

NOLAN DALLA:  2014 NFL SEASON RECORD (through end of Week 10)

68 WINS – 62 LOSSES — 1 PUSHES

STARTING BANKROLL:  $10,000.

CURRENT BANKROLL:  $4,275.

NET GAIN/LOSS:  – $5,725.

BEST BETS OF THE WEEK:  6 – 9 – 1 

Must I do everything around here?

I already do your handicapping.  Do I also have to do your thinking for you?

Listen.

When I say “fire on the teaser wheel,” your only question should be “how high, Sir?”

Well today, my answer is — SKY’S THE LIMIT.

As in “bet it all.

I don’t take prisoners.  My bookie’s hands shake when he looks at my account.  He knows I’ve got him by the balls, praying I won’t put on the squeeze. Only thing today is, I’m making grapefruit juice.

The math wonks yap out of their asses about my methods.  They chirp that I won “only $410” last week, as if that’s chicken shit.  Hey people, how did your Steelers bet at the Jets turn out?  I could have told you that was lighting a match to your money, but most of you bet it anyway.  Meanwhile, I was standing with pocket full of tickets on a day where I didn’t even have to break a sweat.  On top of that, there were a shitload of blowouts last week, which killed many of my teaser middles.  But I still went to the betting window, where I’m on a first name basis with the tellers.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Dalla — cashing some more tickets again today, I see.  Here, take as many comp tickets as you like.

I realize why I’m so welcome at sportsbooks.  I’m sure it’s because the linesmakers want to see who I like and how I bet so they can adjust the line.

As for your number crunchers, let me tell you something that I’ve learned.  You can stick those logrythems up your asses, because trying to beat the game with stats is for the birds.  Not with teams passing 60 times a game and officials tossing yellow flags for interference every other play.  Take your car with 220,000 miles with “Service Engine Soon” light on for the past two years while you drive around town trying to find a sportsbook where the line has moved a half point, and drive it off a cliff.  Fuck the numbers.  I’m convinced it’s about a good system and balls — and I’ve got gold-plated both.

I plan on sipping a bottle of Cabernet right around 6 pm tonight, fanning myself with my winnings.

I invented the teaser wheel, and once gain, I expect it to spit out money.  Sunday’s ballgames are like an assembly line to me.

Today’s teaser wheel team in the New Orleans Saints who are playing a mindfucked Cincinnati Bengals team.

Jump with me on the teaser wheel express.

 

PS — Some of you ass jokers ask me why I don’t just bet New Orleans -7 if I “like the game so much.”  Listen up because I only want to write this one time.  I don’t necessarily like the Saints -7.  I just like them to win the game.  That’s all I need is a home team win to essentially lock up a profit.

 

THIS WEEKS PICKS:    

(All 6-point teasers at -110 — Ties Push)

NOR -1 with TAMPA +13.5   $220 to win $200

NOR-1 with WASH -1.5   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with OAK +16   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with SDI -4   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with DET +7   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with ARZ +5   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with NWE +9   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with INDY +3   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with PITT (pick)   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with TENN +12   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with HOU +9   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with CLEVE +3   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with MINN +9   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with CHI +3   $220 t0 win $200

NOR -1 with PHILA +11.5   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with GB -.5   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with SEA +8  $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with KC +4   $220 to win $200

NOR -1 with NYG +10   $165 to win $150

NOR -1 with SFO +2   $165 to win $150

 

LAST WEEK’S RESULTS:     13 wins, 7 losses  (+$410.)    

(All 7-point teasers at -140 — Ties Push)

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Dallas (pick)   $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Jacksonville +14   $175 to win $125   PUSH

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Miami +9.5   $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Detroit +4.5   $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Kansas City +5   $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Buffalo +9  <<<BEST BET>>>    $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Pittsburgh +3.5   $175 to win $125   LOST

Teaser:  NY Jets -2.5 with NY Jets +11.5   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with San Francisco +12   $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with New Orleans +2   $175 to win $125   LOST

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Atlanta +4   $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Tampa Bay +10   $175 to win $125   PUSH

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Denver -4.5   $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Oakland +18.5   $175 to win $125   LOST

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with St. Louis +13.5   $175 to win $125   LOST

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Arizona +.5   $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with NY Giants +16   $175 to win $125   LOST

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Seattle -2   $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Chicago +14   $175 to win $125   LOST

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Green Bay (pick)   $175 to win $125   WIN

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Carolina +14   $175 to win $125   LOST

Teaser:  Baltimore -2.5 with Philadelphia (pick)   $175 to win $125   WIN

 

……………

 

PENDING FUTURES WAGERS:

NY GIANTS OVER 7.5 WINS (-130) — Wagering $1,300 to win $1,000

DETROIT LIONS UNDER 8.5 WINS (-130) — Wagering $1,300 to win $1,000 

MINNESOTA VIKINGS OVER 6 WINS (-130) — Wagering $1,300 to win $1,000 

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS UNDER 8 WINS (-135) — Wagering $1,350 to win $1,000

CLEVELAND BROWNS UNDER 7 WINS (-150) — Wagering $1,500 to win $1,000  <<<BEST BET>>> 

DALLAS COWBOYS TO MISS THE PLAYOFFS (-250) — Wagering $1,250 to win $500 

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS TO MAKE THE PLAYOFFS (-220) — Wagering $2,200 to win $1,000   <<<BEST BET>>> 

 

……………

NOLAN DALLA:  2013 NFL SEASON RECORD (FINAL RESULTS)

108 WINS – 84 LOSSES — 6 PUSHES

STARTING BANKROLL:  $10,000.

ENDING BANKROLL:  $14,702.

NET GAIN:  + $4,702.

……………

NOLAN DALLA:  2012 NFL SEASON RECORD (FINAL RESULTS)

98 WINS – 87 LOSSES – 6 PUSHES —– (+ 34.6 units / 1 unit = $100)

STARTING BANKROLL:  $10,000.

ENDING BANKROLL:  $13,460.

NET GAIN:  + $3,460

 

4 Comments

  1. You’re not gonna like this Nolan…….ouch.

  2. Saints were a disgrace……..All they had to do is get a lead on Dalton and then he explodes……

  3. Nolan going the way of the degenerate.

    YOur picks have become a joke, not because you are losing but because they are desperate.

    But hey its only 10k, probably not that big of an amt for you anyway.

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