My Super Bowl Heaven and Hell

 

 

My Day in “Super Bowl Heaven” (wager and possible amount to win):

— National Anthem goes OVER 1:35 ($100)
— Team that wins coin toss defers the opening kickoff ($100)
— Kick is returned–not downed or goes out of end zone ($100)
— Halftime show gets canceled (no money, just wishful thinking)
— Number of dogs shown in TV commercials is 6 or more ($100)
— Rams WR Cooper Kupp longest pass reception OVER 28.5 yards ($200)
— Rams win by 5 points or more ($500)
— Matt Stafford is MVP ($500)
— MVP thanks his “teammates” first ($500)

 

My Day in “Super Bowl Hell”:

— National Anthem goes UNDER
— Team that wins coin toss elects to receive the opening kickoff
— Opening kickoff sails out of end zone
— Endless cryptocurrency commercials with paid endorser celebrity pimp slingers
— Number of dogs shown in TV commercials is 5 or less (if a dog appears in a crypto commercial, I’ll take it)
— Rams WR Cooper Kupp longest pass reception goes UNDER 28.5 yards
— Rams win by 3 points or less, or loses the game outright
— Anyone other than Matt Stafford is the MVP
— MVP thanks “god” first
— Russia invades Ukraine

 

Oh, and here’s a picture of a Capybara. Just because I like capybaras.