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Posted by on Nov 22, 2015 in Blog | 5 comments

My NFL Pick of the Year (Bailout Special)

 

scared_little_girl

It’s only taken me 30 years, but I’ve finally discovered the hidden secret to NFL wagering.  Beating football requires a mixed arsenal of three planks — teaser wheels, martingales, and pigeons.

Despite my bankroll getting cut-throated in mid-season, there’s actually a chance I might rise from the dead out of my own grave and get back on my feet again, should this week’s football pick end up with cashing a ticket.

Haters be damned.  The dead is about to rise.  Call me Lazaras.

With $8,827 in the bankroll presently (still stuck $1,173), I’m launching a sophisticated martingale variant which employs the “2-2-4 system.”  Don’t get confused, my friends.  You’re lack the ability to understand serious math like me.  Not content to stick with my proven system based on the theorems of Pathagoras, perpetually impatient, I feel the need to get back onto the profit side as quickly as possible.  Hey, I don’t like waiting around.  That’s for bettors with no balls.  Beside, the gods of football handicapping owe me a few major breaks.  So, why not fire now when it looks like I”m about to go on a heater?  Hence, instead of cautiously betting a standard $1,000 this week on a single play using the conventional “1-2-4 system” — instead I’m lighting firecrackers two at a time.  Read some of Pathagoras’ theories for more background.  I really don’t have time to school people and teach math-based handicapping methodology.

Just to prove I’m not making this shit up, there really was some dude named Pathagoras who lived in Rome.  On second thought, maybe it was Greece.  Whatever.  Same thing.  Here’s proof that Pathagaras actually existed.  Apparently, he even designed the Luxor in Las Vegas.  Check out the photo.  By the way, is that a barbecue grill in the rear out on his patio?

 

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Here and now, I’m releasing my NFL “Pick of the Year,” a.k.a. my BAILOUT SPECIAL.  Best of all, it’s free of charge to my followers, although I do accept tips.  It can’t lose.  Oh, and one more thing — if this pick losses, then blame Pathagoras.  And Lazaras.  Don’t blame me.  Or, my pigeon.

Here’s my top pick of the 2015 NFL Regular Season, my “get even” special….

 

Indianapolis (4-5) at Atlanta (6-2)

Line:  Atlanta -5

How can the Atlanta Falcons be favored by a field goal over anyone at this point in the season?  Falcons are on a two-game slide, losing outright to two of the worst teams in the NFL (Tampa Bay and San Francisco), losers of 3 of last 4 match ups, including four non-covers in a row.  Now, they are laying -5?  WTF?  It doesn’t make any sense.  Falcon’s offense hasn’t cracked 21+ points in over two months.  Fact is, these are two garbage teams struggling badly on offense right now.  That means, this should be a close game, probably decided by a late field goal.  Laying points with the Falcons looks like the worst wager imaginable (this team struggled to score just 10 points versus Tennessee a few weeks ago!).  For Indianapolis, at quarterback this week they’ll plug in Matt Hasselback, who must be like 79 years old, but he’s got loads of experience.  Three weeks ago, I wagered on Atlanta at home on a teaser.  Needing them to just win the game, they shit the bed and lost to Tampa Bay.  Falcons will be lucky to get the win, let alone cover the spread.  Indianapolis plus the generous points looks to be the obvious bet.  So, that means……

THE PICK (NFL “GAME OF THE YEAR” and BAILOUT SPECIAL):  ATLANTA FALCONS -5 — Wagering $2,200 to win $2,000 *

*not a misprint….play is on Atlanta!  If this play wins, and it will, then I’ll be ahead for the season.  Can’t wait to hear the deafening silence of the critics, then.

 

THIS WEEK’S SCORE PREDICTIONS:

Oakland 23    Detroit 20

Atlanta 42    Indianapolis 17

Houston 19    NY Jets 16

Tampa Bay 27    Philadelphia 26

Chicago 24    Denver 2o

Baltimore 31    St. Louis 20

Miami 24    Dallas 23

Washington 30    Carolina 27

San Diego 27    Kansas City 13

Green Bay 31    Minnesota 20

Seattle 31    San Francisco 6

Arizona 37    Cincinnati 24

New England 27    Buffalo 20

__________

 

NOLAN DALLA — 2015 NFL SEASON RECORD

41 WINS – 51 LOSSES — 3 PUSHES

STARTING BANKROLL:  $10,000.

CURRENT BANKROLL:  $8,827.

NET GAIN/LOSS:  – $1,173.

BEST BETS OF THE WEEK:  7 – 5 – 2

LAST WEEK:  1 — 0 — 0 (+$2,000)

[Week 8 — lost $3,740; Week 9 — won $1,000; Week 10 — lost $1,100; Week 11 — won $2,000]

 

SEASON WIN TOTALS  — WAGERS

Pittsburgh Steelers UNDER 8.5 (+115) — wagering $2,000 to win $2,300    6-4

Philadelphia Eagles UNDER 9.5 (-110) — wagering $1,050 to win $1,000   4-5

NY Jets UNDER 7.5 (-120 /-135) — wagering $1,275 to win $1,000     5-4

Tennessee Titans OVER 5.5 (-150) — wagering $450 to win $300     2-7

Cleveland Browns UNDER 6.5 (-170) — wagering $510 to win $300     2-7

 

5 Comments

  1. …Pythagoras.

    • No, he had it right. Pathagoras is the lesser known one, mostly because his insights were

      Pa – thetic.

      I’ll see myself out. 🙂

  2. Nolan is confused. The Greek god of sports betting is Haralabos, not Pathagoras, who is the Greek god of debt.

    Pythagoras is someone that only math nerds know, thus why he was unmentioned in this post.

  3. I’d like to think that were Pathagoras alive today he would have gotten a better number than -5 on a game that closed -3.5.

  4. Taking a gamble on your web site software.

    As Pathagoras might say: πορνεύοντες μετ’ αἰγῶν.

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