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Posted by on Oct 5, 2015 in Blog, Movie Reviews | 9 comments

Movie Review: The Martian

 

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Leering over my keyboard while attempting to write a movie review of “The Martian,” one senses the same confusion upon gazing at the controls a spaceship.

One isn’t sure exactly which button to push or what lever to pull. 

 

This big-budget science-fiction thriller is destined to become one of the year’s blockbuster mega-hits.  That’s because it has simply too many things going for it — an innovative film director, cool special effects, patriotic themes throughout, popular movie stars, and the requisite 3-D viewing experience, which is now imperative in attracting a younger generation of moviegoers with the collective attention span of a fidgety toddler posing for a baby photographer.  But gadgetry doesn’t necessarily make “The Martian” anywhere close to being a great, nor even a good film.  Actually, it’s pretty mediocre. I’ve been on airplane rides that were more suspenseful.  Anyone who’s booked a ticket on Spirit knows exactly what I’m talking about.

“The Martian,” tells the story of an earthy astronaut in the not too distant future who’s left entirely to his own determination and ingenuity in order to somehow survive being marooned on Mars after his space mission goes haywire.  Sometimes this tale is a blast, but it just as often misfires, leaving little tangible debris behind for us to ponder once we’ve departed the theater down $15 bucks (assuming you don’t steal the 3-D glasses).  At its merciful conclusion, following a very long ride and more than two hours of emotional investment that starts to feel like the top of the 14th inning of a 1-1- baseball game, “The Martian” ultimately fails to deliver on two critical premises — first, that we believe what we’re seeing could be real and actually occur, and second — and vitally more important, that we should care about the central characters.

Technically, the movie lacks the awe-inspiring visuals of its comparative space fantasy contemporaries, most notably “Apollo 13” (1995) and “Gravity” (2013).  Sure, at times the space scenes are fun to watch in a Neil deGrasse Tyson (e.g. “Cosmos”) sort of way.  But I still couldn’t shake my lingering skepticism that while we were supposed to be looking at scenes from the Martian surface, given that most of the scenery consisted solely of sand dunes and bronze-tinged mountains, the topography seemed much closer to a typical day in the life for every single resident of Barstow, California.

Director Ridley Scott, no stranger to this genre given his directorial pedigree with “Alien” (1979), “Bladerunner” (1982), and “Prometheus” (2014), knows this territory all too well.  Accordingly, he willingly ramps up the flippancy to almost preposterous levels, even by his own shallow standards as the cinematic captain of science-fiction featherweights.  Perpetually boyish All-American hero Matt Damon is typecast as the stranded astronaut and tries his best to keep us laughing and tearing up simultaneously while pushing us to the edge of our seats even though everyone in the galaxy, from the viewing audience to the kid cleaning the popcorn machine in the lobby who hasn’t seen it yet, can predict his fate.  We can see what’s coming from 39.3 million miles away.

Cynicism towards this film based on the book written by Andy Weir might be constrained somewhat were it not for one of the most annoying musical soundtracks of any film made in recent memory.  Inexplicably, the late 1970’s disco era provides the accompaniment to our story.  Prepare yourself for scenes of Matt Damon driving a NASA lunar rover across the Martian surface to the thumping backbeat of “Hot Stuff,” by Donna Summer.  Apparently, one of the astronauts on the mission brought along a collection of her favorite songs, which becomes the only entertainment outlet on a planet where the satellite television reception totally sucks and the NFL Sunday Ticket is not an option.  We discover there are indeed far worse things than starving to death or dying of thirst on Mars.  Being stuck on a lonely planet forced to listen to Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” for the gazillionth time instantly comes to mind.  Hey Matt, just crack open the spacesuit and “off” yourself, man.  Didn’t NASA provide at least one cyanide capsule packed in the emergency rations just in case conditions become too unbearable?

Turns out, Jessica Chastain, showing her familiar no-nonsense chops once again as this generation’s Sigourney Weaver, is to blame for bringing the dreadful music on this space journey which amounts to being strapped inside an efficiency timeshare for three years.  Again, why a futuristic woman who was likely born about this time and currently living in the year 2050 would be enamored with disco music from seven decades earlier is a real head-scratcher.  Forget the search for aliens, I want the real mysteries of the science uncovered — like what compels a supposedly brave and brilliant woman of science to haul worn-out copies of “Love Train,” and “Turn the Beat Around,” and the entire ABBA catalog across the whole fucking universe?

As for the remainder of the cast, Jeff Daniels steps right out of HBO’s now bygone “Newsroom” and into this role as NASA Director.  He seemingly doesn’t change clothes for an entire year (he’s wearing the same dark blue suit again?) and plays the part with almost comical conviction.  The only thing missing would be “Dumb and Dumber” counterpart Jim Carey hoisting himself into the frame and mugging for the camera while flashing a pearly set of buck teeth.  Life and death, not to mention billions in tax dollars, are at stake, subject to his every whim.  Repeatedly, Daniels is seen waxing philosophical in a let’s-all-gather-around-the-water-cooler sort of way, accompanied by a couple of brown-nosing subordinates who look young enough to be his kids.  Highly complex rescue missions which would demand the highest level of oversight and scrutiny are made in a series of 90-second snap decisions.  When questioned about anything, Daniels retorts, “don’t worry — it’s on me.”

Huh?  If the stranded guy on Mars freezes into a popsicle, blame Jeff Daniels.  It’s on him.

“The Martian” does get at least one thing correct, which is perhaps the only real afterthought I had in an otherwise forgettable film.  The cast of NASA executives and scientists here is extraordinarily diverse both in terms of gender and race, a defining characteristic of much of Ridley Scott’s work (Example:  Casting a strong female as the lead in “Alien” was way ahead of its time).  Most previous space-related movies cast White middle-aged men in these key roles (think “The Right Stuff”), and that was certainly a realistic portrayal given that the Mercury and Apollo missions were almost entirely comprised of former military officers and technicians, who were overwhelmingly both White and male.  However, in this future organization, we see the fruits of America’s affirmative action on matters of gender and race.  Women can be just as smart and strong as men.  Moreover, many of the highly-technical support functions are provided by Blacks, Latinos, and second-and third-generation sons and daughters of immigrants.  Just about all that’s missing from this divergent cast is a transgendered Aborigines in a wheelchair.  Indeed, the future of NASA is much more likely to be guided by multi-ethnic nerds working in high-tech institutes rather than Texan test pilots from the U.S. Air Force.

That aside, the film is still often entertaining.  It’s mostly watchable and even enjoyable to some degree, that is until a grossly inadequate conclusion which makes one wonder if the screenwriters simply threw up their hands and said after an overly long 2 hours and 21 minutes, “let’s just end it here — cue up the disco music and roll the credits.”  Details won’t be revealed here, but I wasn’t alone in wanting something more compelling and much deeper after experiencing such a long journey and vesting so much time and energy.  At the very least, we deserved some kind of grand soliloquy on the human spirit overcoming odds, or the ecstasy of being alive to live another day.  Instead, we’re ushered out of the theater to the tune of one-hit-wonder Gloria Gaynor.

No, I will not survive if I ever have to sit through “The Martian” again.  This brings me finally to the question first pondered in the opening line of this review about which switch to push or lever to pull.

Where’s the “mute” button?

ET00029819

After 2 hours and 21 minutes, I know exactly how he feels.

9 Comments

  1. wow…I beg to disagree my friend…IMHO it was very entertaining…and for once the science was mostly correct…I thought the film did have some great visuals – maybe not of space but certainly evocative of what we may find on Mars- and the acting was at least good
    not the last time we will disagree

    • No bad guys. No sexual scenes. No violence.

      Just nature, man and his emotions.

      The cast was very good and support each other seamlessly.

      I’m willing to wager that this flick will be a Oscar contender.

      • Nolan Replies: No argument. It’s almost certain to receive wide acclaim in most major categories. That said, I do not always correlate Oscar nominations to cinematic excellence. Wasn’t “Earthquake” (1973) nominated for Best Picture? Shudder.

        — ND

    • Nolan Replies: I’m the wrong person to ask about “2001,” which many critics consider a Panteon to Kubrick, but I thought was grossly overrated.

      — Nolan

      • This is why I don’t base which films I watch on your recommendations, unless you’ve mistyped “timeless masterpiece.”

  2. Nolan,

    I guess I don’t understand a critic’s job…I went into the movie with no expectations and was pleasantly surprised by a fun and entertaining movie. I suspect most people will approach the movie in the same way…I found the disco music perversely funny. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the diverse group of NASA employees because in reality that is what we have today. I especially like the solution coming from the lowly engineer…ingenuity is everywhere if you tap into it.

    I found little to dislike about the movie, it was factually very reasonable. I was amused by the Chinese connection…which I saw as a bit of a political statement but that’s ok because it was not drummed into your head. Overall it was fun…I worry that you invested too critic and not enough relaxation in the film…but that’s you by nature.. you’re very intense with your writing which you pour your soul in…I can appreciate that. Take a couple of bottles of good wine next time!

  3. I think I would share some of your opinions, had I seen the movie without first reading its source material. It’s a very faithful adaptation of the novel, with a few parts ommitted almost assuredly for time.

    That said, The Martian was to me a very welcome bit of “hard” sci-fi. Such works are hard to come by on the silver screen. Sure, there’s an awful lot of “Deus Ex,” but I think we’d say the same thing of Apollo 13 had its story not been one of (mostly) fact.

    At the end of the day, I was entertained. The awful soundtrack notwithstanding, I felt the film hit the notes it was trying to hit and I left satisfied.

  4. I love this movie. It portrays the value of patience, calmness even in the face of danger, and the ability to use your unique survival skills. It even teaches the value and character to finish your mission against all odds. Matt Damon has perfectly done his role here. It inspires us to be stronger for the grand plan of making the planet Mars a habitable place. So a good movie.

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