Movie Review: Non-Stop
“Non-Stop” is the latest action-thriller starring Liam Neeson.
Words of advice: Leave your brain parked at the door.
With every scumbag he blasts off the screen, Neeson projects himself one frame closer to abandoning his credential as an actor worthy of being taken seriously. Is this really the same classically-trained thespian who once mesmerized audiences everywhere with his performance in Schindler’s List?
Now twenty years later, he’s about a half-dozen dead bodies and strangulation away from turning into Bruce Willis.
That’s not a good thing.
Without a doubt, Neeson possesses the moxxy to be an action hero, and then some. Even at age 60, he’s a thoroughly-believable ballbusting badass, albeit always with a heart of gold. Whatever role-for-a-few-million-dollars-plus-a-percentage-of-the-gross he’s accepted lately, he’s always cast in the same chiseled character, an ex-this or a former-that struggling to work out his personal problems while on the clock. Estranged from former wives, trying to re-connect with daughters, battling alcoholism — whether it’s Taken, Taken 2, Battleship, Wrath of the Titans, Unknown, or The A-Team — the man’s life does seem to be a perpetual mess. Neeson doesn’t need a gun. He needs an hour with Dr. Phil.
Neeson’s latest gig is playing a federal air marshall. He’s assigned to yet another trans-Atlantic flight with a plane full of passengers, only this one won’t land on time. Indeed, the premise is intriguing. Once the airliner is past the point of no return over the Atlantic Ocean, an unknown terrorist who aboard threatens to kill someone on the aircraft every 20 minutes. That is unless a huge ransom is wired into a Swiss bank account. Neeson’s troubles take a turn for the worse when he’s framed by the conspirators, and his fellow passengers begin to suspect him of masterminding the plot.
What suspense is created stems from not knowing which of the 170 passengers is the real terrorist? We come to know several of these fellow travelers, each bearing at least one troubling characteristic which leads to being a suspect.
Here’s where we get pretty much the same smattering of human caricatures cast in all disaster movies which have taken place up in the sky — from Airport to Airplane. There’s the classic nerd. There’s the tough New York City cop. There’s the token black guy dressed in a suit. There’s a doctor (whose emergency services are always needed at some point). There’s the flight attendant having an affair with the co-pilot. And of course, there’s the cute little girl with red hair in the polka dot dress, in this case traveling solo. Yeah, right. All that’s missing from the cast is a nun playing the guitar.
Of course, we know Nesson’s going to catch the bad guy. Eventually. Along the way, there are few surprises. Just as we know magician’s assistant will walk out of the box whole after getting sawed in half, the real mystery lies in how it’s done.
MINOR SPOILER ALERT COMING (STOP READING NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW HOW THE FILM ENDS)
This is where the ultimate payoff becomes critical. By this time, the audience has invested nearly two hours in a suspenseful movie — well done for the most part. Then, we come to reach the climax to discover the true identity of the terrorist(s). Unfortunately, at the end of this brain teaser, not only is the bad guy uninteresting, he’s downright boring. Worse, his motive for doing all these dirty deeds triggers some head-scratching questions certain to be asked in the lobby afterward. Someone, please explain to me again why the terrorist wanted to bring down a plane full of passengers over the middle of the North Atlantic? Did anyone else catch what all that misdirected anger was all about in his final grandstanding speech?
There’s also one hysterically laugh-out-loud (unintentionally) funny moment. Remember our adorable little girl flying solo? Well, when the movie started she was afraid of getting on the plane. Who knows? Maybe she once flew on Spirit Airlines. Nevertheless, the girl is buckled comfortably in her seat during most of the flight and we don’t hear a peep out of her until the final few scenes when the mangled mass of a burning jumbo jet is hurling down the runway engulfed in flames while out of control at over 200 mph. Of all the seats on the plane, the little girl’s chair snaps away like a twig (that’s what she gets for flying economy class). Just when she’s about to be tossed out of the smoldering aircraft, our hero miraculously reaches out and grabs her by the arm. The little girl does one of those shakes and screams for about 20 seconds while Neeson dangles her body outside of the fuselage. Oh yeah, while all this is happening the plane is still on fire.
I won’t spoil everything. You can probably guess what happens at the end. Let’s just say that there’s nothing to scrape off the tarmac afterward. Nothing to hose down. Saddens.
Oh, how I do miss Leslie Nielsen. Perhaps making mock dramas will be Neeson’s next calling.
