Memo to the New York Football Giants

 

 

MEMO TO THE NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS

I hereby offer my services to start the final regular-season game and quarterback the New York Giants Football Team in Week 18 (next Sunday) for the payment of minimum wage, which in NJ is currently $12 an hour.

Send me a plane ticket (economy is fine, but no Spirit Airlines), put me up at the Meadowlands Motel 6 (free breakfast included), give me a half-day to practice with the Giants’ offense (tell the offensive coordinator to take the day off), and I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE you I will produce BETTER passing numbers for an NFL game than this shit-nest of stats:

Mike Glennon (Giants QB) vs. Chicago Bears today:

11 passes / 4 completions
24 yards
0 touchdowns
2 interceptions
Passer Rating: 5.3

Yes, I’m totally serious. Message me on Facebook.  Here’s my tryout tape: