Here’s What We Learned During the Super Bowl
Here are twenty things we learned from this year’s Super Bowl:
(1) Despite trends in recent years towards explosive offenses, a great defense still prevails. Period. End of discussion. Game over.
(2) Peyton Manning is still a great quarterback, arguably the best ever.
(3) Pete Carroll can coach football.
(4) Richard Sherman isn’t a thug.
(5) The referees finally called a decent game for a change. Why? Because they stayed the hell out of the way and let the players play ball (at least, for the most part).
(6) NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell owes every gambler in the world a drink, a lunch, or a thank you. We gamblers were the ONLY reason this lousy game was still worth watching during the final hour. Since you won’t have the guts to thank us, Mr. Goodell, I’ll just take it upon myself on behalf of tens of millions of people who kept your ratings up to say the following…. “you’re welcome.”
(7) Let’s dismiss all the nonsense about worrying about what might happen with an outdoor cold-weather Super Bowl. Sure, we got a huge break with the weather this time of year. But nothing really matters when it comes to this special event. Had it been 5 degrees and snowing, the stadium would have been just as full. So, here’s an idea: Start scheduling the big game in EVERY NFL CITY on a rotation basis. Every city deserves a shot to host a Super Bowl (okay, maybe not Oakland).
(8) A shitload of people who work in marketing and advertising should be out of jobs come Monday morning. How does Madison Avenue even stay relevant after what we saw on Sunday? You guys get a $3 million budget to produce and air a 30-second television commercial, and those are the best spots you can come up with? Wow. Anyone associated with 90 percent of those commercials has NO BUSINESS WHATSOEVER in advertising. They were terrible.
(9) We still love the Budweiser Clydesdales.
(10) We love anything with a puppy in it.
(11) Bob Dylan can still bring it. His extended 90-second spot for Chrysler which aired late in the game was one of the few highlights of what otherwise was a HORRENDOUS day for advertising. Okay, so Dylan “sold out” by pimping a car, but I’ll take his treachery given all the other lame spots.
(12) The Puppy Bowl was better than the Super Bowl.
(13) I figure the F-word was shouted about 1,793,502 times on the first play from scrimmage when Denver took that safety. Chalk me down for 17 of them.
(14) Denver is not “America’s Team.” Had they won, that might have been the case as all you would see in the western half of the country would be Broncos jerseys everywhere. However, “America’s Team” still belongs to the rightful owners — the Green Bay Packers.
(15) Denver head coach John Fox was an idiot for not kicking the field goal on 4th down, with about a minute left in the first half. The decision was 4th and 2 at the Seattle 20-yard-line. The broncos were losing 22-0. YOU KICK THE FIELD GOAL THERE NO MATTER WHAT. Any coach knows that (except Fox, of course). Missing the fourth down deflated the team even worse and might have been the emotional turning point.
(16) Bruno Mars passed the test with flying colors. Great halftime show.
(17) Two best other TV spots — Stephen Colbert as the pitchman for pistachio nuts and Radio Shack trying to re-invent itself (which I think worked).
(18) Can we ditch the Gatorade bath ritual? Please? It’s so old. So tiring. It’s so like — 1986.
(19) What is Tim Tebow doing anywhere near an NFL game?
(20) Heading into the 2014 NFL season, as insane as this sounds, three of the best teams in the NFL will be competing in the same division next season — with Seattle, San Francisco, and Arizona.
My final results for the NFL season are as follows:
NOLAN DALLA: 2013 NFL SEASON RECORD
108 WINS — 84 LOSSES — 6 PUSHES
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000.
ENDING BANKROLL: $14,702.
NET GAIN: + $4,702.
BEST BETS: 21–20–2
SUPER BOWL RESULTS: 8 wagers….3 wins and 5 losses / $4,560 at risk….minus $1,355
Game Wager: SEATTLE MONEYLINE (+115) — Wagering $700 to win $805 — WON
Proposition: Will the Seahawks Convert a Fourth-Down Attempt? YES (+155) — Wagering $500 to win $775 — LOST
Proposition: Highest-Scoring Quarter by Both Teams (Total Points) UNDER 20 — Wagering $660 to win $600 — LOST
Proposition: Largest Lead of the Game by Either Team: UNDER 13.5 POINTS (+155) — Wagering $500 to win $775 — LOST
Proposition: Team That Scores Last Wins the Game: NO (+160) — Wagering $500 to win $800 — LOST
Proposition: Will Peyton Manning Throw a Touchdown Pass in the Fourth Quarter — NO (-110) — Wagering $440 to win $400 — WON
Proposition: Longest Touchdown Pass By Russell Wilson — OVER 14.5 Yards (-115) — Wagering $460 to win $400 — WON
Proposition: Will There Be a Defensive or Special Teams Touchdown: NO (-160) — Wagering $800 to win $500 — LOST
NOLAN DALLA: 2012 FINAL NFL SEASON RECORD
98 WINS – 87 LOSSES – 6 PUSHES —– (+ 34.6 units / 1 unit = $100)
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000.
ENDING BANKROLL: $13,460.
NET GAIN: + $3,460
BEST BETS OF THE WEEK: 14-7-0