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Posted by on Feb 27, 2015 in Blog, General Poker, Politics, Travel | 8 comments

I Want All Fortune Tellers Executed




Driving down La Cienega Blvd. in Los Angeles at about 1 am tonight and while waiting at a red light, I pulled up alongside this veritable lighthouse of crime.  And that’s when it suddenly hit me.

Look what’s open for business 24-hours a day, seven days a week.  A self-professed “psychic.”

How in the fuck are these businesses even legal?  And more important to the current discussion facing so many of us in what’s become a time of crisis, how is there an active movement and well-oiled machine to outlaw playing poker on your home computer here in the United States of America, but there’s no such even remotely comparable righteous indication targeted towards the swindlers and liars and con artists and menaces to society that make up those who run these cathedrals of exploitation?  Where are the Sheldon Adelson’s of the world on this subject?

Can someone please explain this to me?

How is it illegal to play a hand of poker on my computer right now in 47 of 50 U.S. states, but shakedown artists like the “Psychic Temple” are free to rob and steal those who are gullible enough to walk into such a wasp’s nest in the middle of the night?  Seriously, what kind of miserably desperate person walks into the “Psychic Temple” on Thursday night at 1 am and wants to know their future?  Answer — someone who’s painfully lonely and not thinking rationally.  These sick people should be protected and perhaps even given counseling and treatment.  Meanwhile, those who prey upon them purely for profit while lying to them should be expunged from society.

Here and now, I want to push for a new federal law.  Line up the sponsors.  Get out your pens.  Start the campaign.  I want all these swindlers shut down, rounded up, and executed.  Kill them all.  They contribute nothing to society.  But far worse than that, is the toll they take on humanity.  They take advantage of the most vulnerable among us, especially those who are weak and desperate (and in many cases — wealthy).  These psychics possess no verifiable supernatural powers, and moreover — they know it.  Psychics are well aware they’re frauds.  So instead, they resort to trickery and deception and gimmickry, which leads to con games, and ultimately to theft.  These a prowlers target the weak in particular, and for that they must be punished.

I say — kill them.  All of them.

And, I don’t mean kill them the easy way.  I want them to feel serious pain.  The more intense the pain, the better.  Appropriate instruments of execution include hammers, pliers, and battery acid.  After the deed’s done, I want their stumps to resemble a hulled-out transmission at a junkyard entirely stripped of its parts.  After they’ve done so much lying about who they are, and misrepresented what they do, and given out bogus bullshit advice which has undoubtedly led helpless people astray, and in far too many documented cases to count defrauded thousands of people seeking someone to confide in, I say they don’t deserve any mercy nor commiseration.

Execute them all and make it hurt.

Now, it’s quite fair to ask what online poker has to do with psychics — and the prospective outlawing thereof.  Well, nothing really — unless one considers the rationale that the vulnerable among us must be protected by laws and restrictions.  Something like 92 percent of the U.S. population is forbidden to play a hand of poker, but any cheat bold enough to rip off the most desperate among us can set up a storefront in just about any city in America, hang up a neon sign, and then falsely promise to see into the future.  This all amounts to a hoax that’s been going on within the fortune-telling culture for centuries.  But this isn’t some parlor game.  It’s a form of a psychiatric Mafia.  Countless victims have told stories of being scammed for enormous sums of money — and those are just the ones brave enough to step forward and press charges.  The vast majority of crimes go unreported because the victims are too embarrassed.  The only fortune involved in fortune telling are the vast “fortunes” that have been swindled by these pieces of garbage who operate storefronts in almost every city in America.

Enact the death penalty.  Then, kill them.

They are the scum of the earth.



  1. Houdini worked tirelessly to expose these charlatans and wrote extensively about his efforts.

  2. I recall a post (since deleted) where you called for violence against a sports coach that made a decision you disagreed with.

    I’d suggest you also delete this post as it incites violence against a legal and licensed business.

    I’m surprised that an atheist/socialist would hold such intolerant violent beliefs.

    • Nolan replies:

      Quick point of fact….I am pushing for a federal law, then followed by executions. Not a mob mentality and random acts of violence. It’s certainly legal to push for a change to crimes and punishment.

      — Nolan

  3. Dude.

    That’s your books title!!!! Lol

    Lol.. Awesomsauce.


    Best seller!

  4. These sorts of businesses and their ilk are certainly a net negative on society, but I’d rather they be legal than illegal. I just wish they were all driven out of business by a severe lack of demand (meaning a decrease in stupidity.) However, how do you square your reaction with your love (which I share) of the 1st amendment and libertarian tendencies? If this were outlawed, wouldn’t it just be driven underground? Wouldn’t that be worse?

  5. Sigh… Nolan, as you know, I’ve been a member of CSI since its inception (back when it was CSICOP)and even published in Skeptical Inquirer. But, yeah, here comes “but” ….

    They actually do play a useful role. Not the big time charlatans who have traveling circuses that play to large audiences — they’re the really bad guys in this game. But these small tiny shops with make-believe psychics or astrologers or palm readers perform a small and unnoticed service.

    They do baby psychotherapy for the poor who cannot afford a real therapist and the frightened who come from communities where it would be social suicide to be known to be seeking psychotherapy.

    They promise love for the loveless, predict better days ahead for those who haven’t seen such days in years. They often give useful advice on relationships and on problems at work. They allow for natural catharsis to occur.

    And, they are relatively harmless. The ones who should be in your cross-hairs and the big time phonies, the ones who set up churches, or delude police departments into thinking they’ll solve crimes or sell millions of copies of books filled with bullshit.

    As for executing them, I’ll just chalk this up to a bit of keyboard rage.

    • Oh shut up. That is the same lame excuse that organized religion uses. Time to wake up and stop defending bad ideas. At the end of the day, dishonesty like the psychic business and religion can only be defended by illogical nonsensical arguments like you just spewed.

  6. Live n let live.

    Life is a mosaic, we are all human beings.

    Well, maybe not Nolan. He’s a mega rockstar!


    I’m worried about him, blood pressure kills.

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