Holiday Travel Torture — Why?

Are we really expected to feel bad for someone dumb enough to connect through ORD-Chicago O’Hare on December 23rd?  What did you expect the situation to look like other than a giant mosh pit?

Help me out here. Educate me. Because I don’t get it.

Why do so many people travel at the absolute worst time of the year?

Yeah, I understand — it’s Christmas time. Everyone wants to get together, open up presents, eat, drink, and celebrate. Feliz Navidad. Happy Festivas.  Merry Shomer Shabbos. Whatever.

So, why are 150 million Americans torturing themselves, standing in long lines, and elbowing each other, desperately trying to get from Point A to Point B? Reportedly, about half the country will travel during this holiday weekend, a number which seems preposterous. Yet for some odd reason, this twisted ritual appears to be a uniquely American tradition. People in Switzerland aren’t dodging snowplows to go visit Uncle Hans and Aunt Heidi.

So then, why don’t more people just say, “fuck this, let’s all meet in mid-January and celebrate then instead?” Or, whenever. Just toss a dart and circle any non-holiday spot on the calendar. The flights are always cheaper, seats are more plentiful, and the highways aren’t jammed with drunks and dopers.

It sorta’ reminds me of why we choose to eat out in the best restaurants always on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, and avoid Fridays and Saturdays. The menu is the same. plus you can always get a better reservation time and table mid-week, rather than the weekend. And the service is almost always better because the restaurant staffs aren’t frantically overworked. Why do people even bother eating out on Saturday nights? Really, I don’t get it.

The exact same principle goes for the holidays. Why travel when things are so crazy? This makes no sense at all.

I realize some people have no other options. I’m sympathetic to some travelers (well, on second thought — not really…..I’m not sympathetic at all, but put that in there to appear compassionate).  Question — am I *really* expected to feel bad for someone dumb enough to connect through ORD-Chicago O’Hare on Dec. 23rd?  What did you expect the situation to look like other than a giant mosh pit?

Perhaps some small percentage of people can only travel on weekends and holidays (likely due to jobs). But the fact is, more people are now on flex schedules than ever before. Nine to five, Monday through Friday office work is so Ward and June Cleaver 1950s. COVID changed tens of millions of work schedules and lives. Plus, half the country doesn’t even work regular jobs (young, retired, self-employed). The gig economy has more people working at all hours of the day from home than at any time in history. So, there’s more FLEXIBILITY than ever before. Don’t tell me that those millions of people can’t travel some other time that’s less crowded.

So, why the fuck are all the airports so jammed?

Really, I’m serious. Explain to me why people do this torturous ritual. I love the holidays, but I just don’t get it.