Global Warming Hits the NFL
Global warming and man-made climate change is real.
Just look at temperatures around the NFL for today’s games. For the second straight week, not a single game will be played in freezing temperatures — despite cold-weather cities Minneapolis, Baltimore, Foxborough, New York, Philadelphia, Washington, and Pittsburgh all hosting games this Sunday.
Last weekend, the coldest temperature at any NFL stadium was in Green Bay. That’s certainly no surprise. What was a shock was the game time temperature — a bone-chilling 52 degrees. Hardly the “Ice Bowl.”
Would someone please check the calendar? Is it really December 20th?
Now, let’s hope some of that global warming blows my way and I catch on fire.
It’s teaser time!
Last week, I split my bets — going 3-3. Winners amounted to +2,730. Losers totaled $3,000.
Today, I feel great about two bets, which look to me like they can’t lose. I’m doubling down on the Kansas Chiefs as my key game, which plays at lowly Baltimore. Chiefs have won 7 straight games, and come off a sub-par performance last week, which I expect will motivate a better showing this time around versus a team that’s mailed it in for the season already. Chiefs are in the thick of the wild-card hunt, so there should be no letting up for the road favorites, laying -6.5. Normally, I’d never tout a chalk road team, which is usually favorite wager for squares. However, Jimmy Clausen is starting at QB for Ravens, one of the most ill-prepared players I’ve seen since the old Cleo Lemon days in Cleveland. I can’t foresee Little Jimmy doing much against a solid Kansas City defense that held San Diego to 3 points last week. So, I’m teasing the Chiefs down to just a half point. I call this my “Scott Wilson second bottle of wine dinner special” (that’s an inside joke).
The other two games are square bets on terrible numbers. Hey, what the fuck. Both New England and Seattle are laying -14 in games against two of the worst teams in the NFL — Tennessee (which appears to be regressing now and isn’t even trying) and Cleveland (the league’s laughing stock since 1964 — starting party boy on the road this week at QB). I’ll do the unthinkable, betting the highly public teams, taking terrible numbers, and using my teaser sliderool to lay what amounts to -8 in both situations. Hey, the public gets it right sometimes. The sharps will certainly be playing mostly dogs, like I used to do before losing tens of thousands and bitching about bad beats every week. Sometimes, you just have to humble yourself, toss up your hands, and go along with the consensus.
True to form — this week is for my entire bankroll. Once these two teasers sail in, Nolan Dalla is back in the black for the season. Then, hopefully the world ends and I die a happy man.
TEASER: Kansas City -.5 with New England -8 Risking $2,925. to win $2,659.
TEASER: Kansas City -.5 with Seattle -8 Risking $2,925. to win $2,659.
NOLAN DALLA — 2015 NFL SEASON RECORD
45 WINS – 83 LOSSES — 3 PUSHES
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000.
CURRENT BANKROLL: $5,857.
NET GAIN/LOSS: – $4,143.
BEST BETS OF THE WEEK: 9 – 8 – 2
LAST WEEK: 3 — 3 — 0 (-$270)
SEASON WIN TOTALS — WAGERS
Pittsburgh Steelers UNDER 8.5 (+115) — wagering $2,000 to win $2,300 8-5
Philadelphia Eagles UNDER 9.5 (-110) — wagering $1,050 to win $1,000 …..winner
NY Jets UNDER 7.5 (-120 /-135) — wagering $1,275 to win $1,000 …..loser
Tennessee Titans OVER 5.5 (-150) — wagering $450 to win $300 3-10
Cleveland Browns UNDER 6.5 (-170) — wagering $510 to win $300 ……winner