Don’t Get Fooled by the Shit Raisin Bran!
The Mother’s Joy faux-Raisin Bran ruined my night!
Look at this imposter!
That’s not “Raisin Bran!”
That’s a fake! A phony! A bait and switch! A con act! A screw job!
This crummy breakfast cereal cost $1.79. That alone should have been a red flag. Good fresh cereal doesn’t cost less than two bucks. Ever! I should have known the shit cereal would fuck me! I should have realized that no cereal priced that cheaply can possibly be any good!
The actual Kellogg’s product I thought I was buying usually costs about $4.50 a box. But I got jacked over because of the packaging. The phony cereal sure as hell looks the same as the real Raisin Bran product, doesn’t it?
Here, you don’t believe me? Take a look for yourself! Look at it! You tell me if the shit raisin bran isn’t pulling a fast one over on the consumer. Compare the two boxes side by side. They look the same!
See what these fuckers are trying to do to everybody! I think they intentionally want to confuse people like me.
Here’s how they operate.
First, they paint the shit box the exact same color. Of all the colors they could pluck out for their packaging, they mimic the exact same unusual purple as Kellogg’s brand. A mere coincidence? I don’t think so!
Next, they put basically the same picture on the front of the box. If I’m looking at that, it looks the same to me.
WELL, IT ISN’T! THE FAKE RAISIN BRAN TASTES LIKE SHIT!
The similarities don’t end there. For one thing, the RAISIN BRAN lettering is the same colors — black outlined by white. If you’re casually strolling down the shopping aisle in a grocery store not paying attention, it’s easy to instinctively reach for the shit box, instead of the real breakfast cereal that everyone enjoys. Because they look the same! Only later when you get home, do you then realize you’ve been conned!
Look at this travesty. The shit product is called “Mother’s Joy.”
“Mother’s Joy,” my ass!
When I popped open the “Mother’s Joy,” I was expecting Kellogg’s. Fresh bran. Nice chewy raisins that were plentiful. Two scoops! Not one fucking scoop! TWO SCOOPS!
What did I taste instead?
The bran was stale and what few raisins were packed inside the box were more like gummy bears. I had to use the water pick after I wolfed down three full bowls and even woke up Marieta. That’s what I get for eating cereal at 2 am.
The Mother’s Joy faux-Raisin Bran ruined my night! And Marieta’s, too.
I’m warning you people. Let this be a lesson to the entire world.
Don’t get fooled into buying the shit raisin bran!
I won’t get fooled again!
FOOTNOTE: As to why I would devour three full bowls, it was 2 am and there was nothing to eat in the house at that hour. Plus, I thought it was me, and not the cereal. Then, after the third bowl, I thought to myself — “that tasted like shit.” Plus, my teeth were covered in gooey raisins. Oh, and another thing. I NEVER BUY FOOD PRODUCTS AT THE DOLLAR STORE. NEVER! The product was not expired. It was shit. It was called MOTHER’S JOY and I highly recommend you stay away from it!
Nolan, I have a question.
The bran was stale and what few raisins were packed inside the box were more like gummy bears. I had to use the water pick after I wolfed down three full bowls, and even woke up Marieta.
If the first bowl was stale and had raisins that were the consistency of gummy bears, why the hell did you pour the other two bowls?
Also, did you compare the ingredient list? Did you check the expiration date? Maybe the Mother Joy stuff is just fine if it hasn’t been sitting on the shelf of the Dollar Store for three years?
Keep on fighting the good fight, I guess.
If you bought this at a real store like Safeway or Lucky’s, they will probably give you a refund. Yes,
even though you ate half the box.
Didn’t realize Nevada had legalized weed yet??
Nolan’s blog entries have been entertaining me for years now. Perhaps variety of subject matter is the spice of life, but I still can’t help but chuckle at Nolan showing a similar level of angst over a bad $2 box of cereal & a $5,000 sports bet.
Let this be a lesson for the kids: Go where the money’s at. Work for bookmakers, not cereal makers.
Not much is more entertaining than a Nolan Dalla product review. ROFL with this one and keep ’em coming! Hard to go to the mattresses in support of you though when you scarf down three bowls of the stuff and then start complaining. 😉
Or you can just open your eyes and actually look at what your buying……….. Just saying…………….. it’s not rocket science…………