Ellen Degeneres Was Terrible!
I like Ellen DeGeneres.
I think Ms. DeGeneres is a wonderful talent and an inspiration to millions.
I was a big fan of her work both as a stand-up comedian and later when she had a prime-time hit television show on ABC. I used to watch her show every week.
However: She’s a TERRIBLE host of the Academy Awards show.
Did you see tonight’s debacle? Holy shit!
She had three full months to work on her material, and this was the best she could come up with? No doubt, DeGeneres has access to the world’s top writers to create a witty monologue and add entertaining filler between introducing the stars, and this was her A-game? Seriously?
It would be nice if Ms. DeGeneres would have put a little effort into the production. You know, like write some stuff up. In advance. Prepare. And, it would be kinda cool if the material she performed in front of A BILLION PEOPLE WORLDWIDE was actually either entertaining or funny. It wasn’t.
Instead, what did we get?
Boredom, that’s what we got. Over and over and over and over. “Our next presenter needs no introduction” — we heard that line at least three times. Five meandering mindfucking minutes of torture in a jaw-dropping skit about ordering pizza on live TV, which shamelessly used lots of A-List celebrities as shills. That baffling moment of boredom was followed a short time later by a few minutes of collecting money to pay for the pizza. Did anyone in the universe over the age of about 6 think this was funny?
Then, there was the cheap social media gimmick, tweeting a group shot of the stars and trying to crash the whole system, which she claims were successful. Of course, this was nothing more than a plug for Samsung, one of the show’s sponsors which was prominently shown to the cameras. Meanwhile, the 999,999,985 other people watching worldwide who weren’t in on the gag were bored to fucking tears. Pretty pathetic when product placement takes place on the actual show. What next, rotating billboards and step-and-repeat banners behind the onstage presenters?
Of course, all of this shameless boredom wasn’t entirely Ms. DeGeneres’ fault. Then again, some of it was.
Even with the mindless “humor”, one might associate with a failed sitcom, nothing was worse than the moment in the middle of the telecast when Ms. DeGeneres introduced the head of the Academy and then brought her out onto the stage. For those who missed the moment or don’t remember, Ms. DeGeneres introduced the new head of the Academy as “the first African-American woman” ever to serve in that role.
Really? Do we still need that moniker? Aren’t we past that yet? Won’t we see for ourselves within a few seconds that the lady is an “African American?” Shameless. Patronizing. Insulting. That’s what it was. All that was lacking was the woman to come out and thank and the audience, musing “I hope I’m a credit to my race.” Thanks for the intro, Ms. DeGeneres.
Oh my, how I do long for the days of Johnny Carson or Billy Crystal. How about Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert? I might even be able to stomach Whoppi Goldberg for a few hours, which is really stretching my patience. Here’s an idea: Can anyone locate Bob Hope’s grave? There’s got to be more humor in an old tomb with dusty bones than was in Degeneres rambling, pointless, uninspired act tonight on the biggest stage in show business.
She was awful. And that’s being kind.
So, who should replace her?
Easy.
Jim Carrey was funnier in just two minutes during his brief moment onstage presenting animation nominees than anything we saw from this year’s host. Mr. Carrey does impressions. He’s funny. He’s quick-witted. He can be serious. And he works his ass off. Tirelessly. We strongly suspect Mr. Carrey would come prepared with material if placed in such a prestigious role. One thing’s for sure. He wouldn’t be “ordering pizza” trying to kill off precious television time while a billion people are waiting for the next award, like Ms. DeGeneres.
Good show. Lots of good speeches. Well-deserving winners.
And a terrible job by the host.
Goodbye Ms. DeGeneres. Now go back to your daytime television talk show where you belong.
Bring on Jim Carrey. Or, anyone else, except John Franco. Please.
Late Added Note: The morning after, this review in Hollywood Reporter made an even stronger case. CLICK HERE
Nolan, I agree wholeheartedly. Her monologue was not funny at best and mean spirited at worst. Her dig at Liza Minnelli was downright cruel. The best I can say about her is “Seth MacFarlane was worse”. And either they had the world’s worst teleprompter or half of Hollywood can’t read.
I wonder how much was due to the fact that Bruce Vilanch, who was head writer for most of the 2000’s, was not involved this year.
It was the very worst performance ever by a host. I had to constantly check with my family if it was just me or was this the most Boring, dull, NOT funny or entertaining oscar ever! Just shocked with the positive reviews today of her performance.
Nolan, You know they could bring back Johnny Carson or Bob Hope with the Hologram. Why not? That would be awesome!
Unfortunately many, if not a majority, of people don’t share this view. I ran across your blog looking for people with similar opinions, but we are in the minority. On Facebook, people said they were howling with laughter at the pizza gag.
I don’t get it. I too was bugged by the “Needs no Introduction” as well, I wondered aloud if she was high as she presented. At least one of those people needed an introduction, because I had no idea who the fuck they were.
In sum, I agree with you, BUT, people found it to be endearing and funny. I don’t know what that says about folks.
Disclaimer: I really like Ellen.
My wife and I were embarrassed with her armature behavior.
Handing out scratchers to the runners up? Really? How demeaning! She looked out of place, not in control and awkward.