Fortune Cookie Redux
Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but can I get cash instead?
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Wouldn’t it suck to win the lottery right now?
Imagine pocketing the lump sum of $250 million. Your dream of a big house, fancy cars, and a trip around the world has just come true. You’ll never have to work another day in your life. Then, on the way to the bank, a giant fireball suddenly appears up in the sky.
Kaboom!
There’s a potential Twilight Zone episode in there somewhere.
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In case you missed it, the world is going to end on December 21, 2012. At least, that’s what some ancient Mayan calender predicts, which marks the final day of a 5,125-year cycle. Never mind these savages spent most of their lives running through jungles and commonly sacrificed virgins to the gods. Today, some people actually believe these tribesmen possessed unique insights into our future. Despite their civilization utterly vanishing without warning more than a thousand years ago, they have supposedly alerted us to the very day when life on earth will end. Now, that’s impressive. Hell, I can’t even figure out what time Monday Night Football comes on each week.
This is a lose-lose proposition for a shitload of people. First, we’re all pretty much screwed if the prophesy comes true. We can all agree on that. I don’t see a lot of upside in the entire world’s population being sucked into a deadly black hole — although I sure as hell will be applauding when it’s Kim Kardashian, Howard Lederer, and Donald Trump’s turn to enter the giant celestial vacuum cleaner. That’s almost worth hoping it will happen.
But if the prophesy is false, some people out there will have lots of explaining to do. There’s going to be enough egg on the faces of soothsayers to make the world’s largest omelette, assuming we all miraculously wake up on December 22nd, and there’s still an earth under out feet.
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We are bankrupt.
Actually, that’s not true. We are 16 trillion dollars beyond being bankrupt. Trillion — with a “T.” Think about that for a moment. Let it sink it.
If you’re not mad as hell yet, then shut the page and go read something else. Today’s column isn’t for you.
The so-called “fiscal cliff” debate happening in Washington right now underscores the reality that the two-party system has utterly failed us on every level. Such a perverted system shows no capacity to either compromise, nor govern. It’s a disgrace to the concept of democracy. The two parties are fucking America in the ass and we’re all Ned Beatty.
Those of us out of the political mainstream, far removed from the dog and pony show, have been screaming for years that things would eventually come to this. We foresaw the two major power brokers would eventually reach a stare down and come to what amounts to a political stalemate — where virtually nothing gets accomplished.
The debate goes something like this. Liberals want to spend more money and expand the role of government. Conservatives want to make budget cuts and decrease government’s role, opting to shift power to the private sector.
But that’s a gross over-simplification of what’s really happening. In fact, it’s far more complicated. There are plenty of government programs liberals would love to slash (you’ll see my list in a moment). Moreover, many government programs receive their strongest support from conservatives.
The bottom line is — we’re in a crisis. We have no choice. Either make drastic cuts. Or, increase revenues (taxation). Or both.
Where the two parties fail is in not telling us the truth. It’s time to level with the American people and simply announce that we all must all make some sacrifices. Everyone. We are all in this together. I know, my socialism is showing again. But these times demand shared sacrifices. The sooner this nation is confronted with some kind of honest “fireside chat” moment where our leaders finally level with us, the sooner we can tend to the peoples’ business and get back on financial track.
Here’s my “wish list” of what should be cut (or added) to balance the federal budget:
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Yesterday, I almost had my balls chewed off by a pit bull named “Chief.”
It’s true.
I was attacked by three pit bulls this past weekend. Here’s the story of how a leisurely run through the mountains of northern San Diego County turned into a brief moment of terror.
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Ever had one of those “HOLY SHIT! WHAT DO I DO NOW?” moments?
I just had one.
Make that three. As in three pit bulls.
It all happened Saturday morning. A casual three-mile run concluded with an unexpected “bonus sprint” towards the end, when I was confronted by three gnarling, foaming-at-the-mouth, canine beasts.
First, the back story. I’m currently staying at the Harrah’s Rincon Resort and Casino, which is located in the mountains just north of San Diego. This is Indian land situated about halfway between Temecula and Escondido. Unless you drive 20 miles due east off the I-15, you’d never know there’s this vast barren area with almost no modern development, except for a few casinos and local Indians who all seem to drive $60,000 cars and live in shacks.
The roads here pretty much consist of single-lane stretches of pavement winding through mountains along blind curves with no guard rails. Everyone seems to drive 80 miles an hour along these roads. I guess there’s no state highway patrol here given this is a “sovereign nation,” so it’s almost like vehicular anarchy.
Having run along these roads a few times as part of my daily workout, I’ve nearly been hit by traffic, oblivious to the fat white guy wallowing along the yellow stripe who’s stupid enough to jog a route where no path exists. If running in Las Vegas is dangerous at times, and it certainly can be, then doing the same thing here on an Indian reservation is inviting a death wish.
So, on Saturday morning I went out in search of a detour. A new path where I could run over the next week which was challenging, but safe. I thought I’d found it, at least until the final stage of my run, which is where the story picks up.
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NOLAN DALLA: 2012 POSTED NFL SEASON RECORD
76 WINS – 65 LOSSES – 4 PUSHES —– (+ 48.65 units / 1 unit = $100)
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000.
CURRENT BANKROLL: $14,865.
BEST BETS OF THE WEEK: 10-3-0
I’m coming off a brutal week where I lost -11.2 units (-18.2 units were lost on Sunday). First quarter wagers have been deadly last three weeks, with inept offenses wiping out substantial profits. I’ll be much more selective about these trap wagers in the closing weeks of the regular season. Reducing some exposure on these first-quarter plays and going a bit heavier on sides and totals.
Shorter write ups today. Apologies to readers for not doing more writing on these games. But the plays have been handicapped and look very strong. It’s 4 am on Saturday night, and I have to get some rest. So the narrative will be kept to a minimum. Here it goes….
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