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Posted by on Mar 24, 2021 in Blog, Personal, Rants and Raves | 5 comments

CARVANA is a Pawn Shop



Buying a car?  Stay away from Carvana.

Selling a car?  Drive away from Carvana.

This company is nothing but a pawn shop.



We’ve all seen the commercials for CARVANA promising a seamless car-buying (or selling) experience.  They show happy fun people paying “top dollar for your car” and “making car-buying easy.”

CARVANA is best-known for something called “car vending machines,” as though popping $25,000 in quarters will produce a Toyota faster than a stale bag of Cheetos. No word on if the car gets stuck in the bottom of the tower.

I’ve dealt with CARVANA twice now, and both times were horrid experiences.

One was a car purchase where they ran me through the ying-yang to produce documents and then quoted me a 24 percent interest rate (because I’m self-employed). If I could have crammed the loan documents down the guy’s throat for wasting all my time, I would have, but that would be tough to do over the computer.

Simultaneously, I made an appointment to sell off one of my three cars (which is two too-many). I wanted to dump a pristine 2005 Volvo (with an overheating problem) with only 90,000 miles, just needs some TLC with the motor. I knew I’d take it in the shorts for the “convenience,” but who wants to deal with CraigsList bargain bandits? Fuck that. So, I said — just give me something reasonable for the Volvo with the great body that overheats and we’ll make this deal a wrap.

CARVANA offered me $500.

Five-hundred bucks.

After I regained my ability to speak, I told them they be joking. Or, they forgot a ZERO. Maybe they forgot the 2 on the front end of the 500. Anyway, the ass jokers basically wanted to STEAL the car from me.

So, CARVANA is 0 for 2 with me.

Be advised: CARVANA is a pawn shop. It’s a pawn shop in glass that looks like a vending machine. If you wanted to get raked over by loan geeks and fucked in the ass sideways by mercenary purchasing agents, be my guest.


Photo: Here’s the Volvo — you tell me if this car is worth $500.

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  1. Well, since you left the driver’s side door wide open into a traffic lane, it probably got whacked and now that 16-year-old Volvo isn’t even worth the $500 any more…

  2. how much does edmunds value your volvo or carmax? anything over a dime seems high and keep in mind, they have to resell it.

  3. Well, at least I can tell that YOU wrote this one! 🙂

  4. How was the car that you purchased? Other than the 24% loan? Was it a lemon or good quality. I’m considering to purchase from them, won’t through them though.


      I bought a Honda from the dealer. I just didn’t want to fuck with anymore headaches.

      — ND

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