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Posted by on Jan 11, 2015 in Blog, Movie Reviews | 4 comments

The Best and Worst Golden Globe Moments

 

golden-globes

 

I admit it, I’m an awards show junkie.  Tonight’s annual Golden Globes Awards had its share of hits and misses.  What follows is my list of the best and worst of the telecast:

 

BEST MOMENTS:

— As for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosting (yet) again, three words come to mind….NOT A FAN.  Wait, two more — AT ALL.  Still, the duo delivered a nice opening monologue tonight, mixing things up just enough to stay interesting for about seven entire minutes (some kind of record), and concentrating most of the barbs on the usual deserving suspects — which included the Hollywood A-listers we both adore and envy, at least for their looks and money.  Again, not a fan of their lame stuff most of the time, but they get a passing grade from me this year.

Amy Adams.  What can I say?  She’s become one of the big stars I will go and see no matter what film she is appearing in, bar none (disclaimer:  unless she makes a movie with Adam Sandler).  Everything she has done in the last three years has been well worth watching, and she’d been extraordinary in each film.  Glad to see her win for a mediocre film, “Big Eyes.”

Prince.  When musician-songwriter-legend Prince walked out on stage tonight to deliver an award for best song, the entire place erupted.  I was glad to see everyone not only acknowledge real talent and greatness but give “the artist” his due for coming out of what’s usually a hermit-like existence.  I don’t give a fuck nor remember who won the award Prince was actually giving out.  All I cared about was seeing Prince in his element.  More!  More!  In fact, fuck the awards show.  Just hand that man a guitar and a microphone!

— The television mini-series “Fargo” won an award.  Brilliant writing,  Great acting.  Rare to say that television was the equal of the big screen, at least for this project.  I can’t wait for a follow-up in Season 2.

— Speaking of “Fargo,” I loved actor Billy Bob Thorton’s all-time shortest speech ever, after a few comments about how we so often blast anyone for wandering off-script and saying anything the least bit controversial.  Do we really want our leaders and celebrities to filter everything through press agents first?  Anyway, Thorton summed up his jubilation with two simple words:  “Thank you.”  No doubt, someone out there was offended.

— Winning for Best Actress in “Boyhood” was Patricia Arquette, who’s come like light years since her divorce from actor Nicholas Cage, who has become something of a joke.  So pleased to see this happen, and just as happy to see “Boyhood” win Best Picture, which ended the show.  Not a perfect movie, and certainly not conventional.  But it’s great to see something honored which is out of the ordinary and wasn’t a product of the traditional Hollywood system.  Two major fist pumps when this film received some acclaim.

— I’m partial to writers.  yet inexplicably, we tend to label films by either actor or director, such as “Marlon Brando films,” or Martin Scorsese movies.”  But the heart of making a good movie starts with the writing.  THE WRITING!  Why don’t we know more screenwriters by their names?  Well, Alejandro G. Iñárritu knows this, and acknowledged the importance of writing when he garnered his award for sharing credit on “Birdman.”  Perhaps only serious writers who sat in front of a keyboard bleeding souls and waiting for elusive words to come will understand this point, but there can be no greater satisfaction than the acknowledgment of your ideas, and the recognition of something original you created.  Even when Ben Affleck and Matt Damon won their Oscar ten years ago for screenwriting, they later said that was their proudest moment.  Not for being actors.  But for being writers.  For that art is far more personal.

— I like seeing talent and experience rewarded.  Period.  Sorry, I don’t get giddy when kids and teenagers get nominated for major awards.  I know that’s not exactly fair.  But I want to see actors that probably wandered Sunset Blvd. at some point living off popcorn FINALLY getting up on the big stage, after years of sacrifice.  Markdown a clap and nod for Jeffrey Tambor for his role in “Transparent.” 

— Loved Maggie Gyllenhaal’s dead-on in-your-face observation tonight after winning a Golden Globe, on the topic of women in film, and roles for females in Hollywood.  We so often celebrate roles for strong women, she noted.  But what about regular women?  Average women?  Women with problems?  Less than perfect women?  We’ve always been open to a gambit of male portrayals, from zombies to presidents.  But it’s long past the time to cast women based on their actual talent and adaptability instead of good looks or box office appeal.

— Two favorite moments, the first one related to George Clooney.  When he was singled out for his presence in the audience during the opening monologue, it was noted that his new wife has done some extraordinary things in her life — including working for peace in Gaza, helping the poor, advancing human rights, and essentially being a real foot soldier in making the world a much better place.  As she sat there aside from her celebrity husband, the irony couldn’t be lost on all who were watching that here was multi-millionaire Clooney, dressed in a tux, getting puckered by everyone, receiving something called “the lifetime achievement award.”  Misplaced priorities, indeed.

— Finally, the second favorite memorable moment was Kevin Spacey taking the stage and reminding us all of how much we have to learn and how more we need to grow, both as creators and audiences.  Spacey told a remarkable story about visiting director Stanley Kramer just prior to his death, where the great film director expressed remorse that his films “couldn’t have been better.”  Image that.  Kramer himself apologizing at the end of his life and lamenting where he failed.  That was an amazing tribute.

 

WORST MOMENTS:

— I’m pretty open to jokes about anything.  However, the couple of jokes on the show about rape were ill-conceived.  I realize carving up Bill Cosby is a national pastime now, and the old bastard probably deserves to be doped and prison fucked.  But there’s not much gained by making light of some real pain and suffering, make that lots of pain and suffering, largely the result of a powerful man of privilege abusing his trust and status to take advantage of women.  I don’t think that’s a joking matter.

Jennifer Lopez is trash.  The in-your-fucking face boob blaster dress she barely wore tonight wasn’t sexy.  It was disgracefully inappropriate, even for a D-grade show like the Golden Globes.  It was like, “Hey look at me — I don’t have any talent, but at least I can show off a $150,000 breast job.”  Sure, I know the notorious diva who bathes in Perrier loves to bask in the spotlight and be the big talk of TMZ after the show all week with her “fuck my tits” outfit.  But how this for a change.  How about letting the actual stars who have talent shine on this night?  Lopez obviously doesn’t realize that her fake tits are a nickel a 38-C dozen in Hollywood.  She’s got little else to display, so I guess the boobs have to be the talk of the show, while real artists who spent lifetimes trying to write and act their way to the top have vied for respect and attention.  Lopez is little more than a Latin flavor of Paris Hilton.

— Ah, the cruel bitter irony of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association lackey coming out before all the pretty people and making a grandiose political proclamation about standing up for free speech, only to get a standing ovation, just weeks after one of Hollywood’s biggest studios and distributors yanked the release of “The Interview,” admittedly a terrible movie in the face of protests by a North Korean dictatorship.  Actions speak much louder than words.

— Speaking of North Korea, the notion of putting an actor on the show alongside Fey and Poehler (after the opening monologue) who was wearing a Kim Il Sung-like military jacket was both unfunny and embarrassing.  Yeah, we know the North Korea story was a big deal.  But there was nothing funny about the spoof, which got old about 3 seconds into the first bit.  Unfortunately, the act was repeated four more times during the show.  Whoever thought up the idea and wrote the material should be sent to North Korea and imprisoned.  It was fucking awful.

— Finally, the worst moment of the night was most certainly the two actors on stage starring in the upcoming “50 Shades of Grey” movie, which probably should be rebranded as “socially acceptable porn for women over 55.”  Could there have been any less chemistry than we saw onstage between these two nobodies?  This film is going to bomb like Hiroshima.  These two actors had about as much chemistry together onscreen as tofu and a hot fudge sundae.  Quick.  Get me a blindfold.  And grab me a whip.  I’m going to get off watching a major studio lose about $40 million on this senseless rubbish.

I’ll leave readers with something a bit unusual.  Far be it for me to toss giant corporation praise, but General Electric’s commercial about midway through tonight’s Golden Globes was quite memorable and moving.  It was especially poignant in light of recent events in France where some artists face the risk of death simply by expressing an idea.  Please watch this 70-second spot titled, “Ideas are Scary.”

 

Note:  An earlier version of this article identified George Clooney as the teller of the Stanley Kramer story.  That was actually Kevin Spacey.  The text above has been corrected.

4 Comments

  1. It was Kevin Spacey who talked about Stanley Kramer not Clooney

  2. gamut vs. gambit

    [autospellcheck disclaimer]

  3. I think Stanley Kramer apologized his movies weren’t better (or that they *could* have been better).

    And I’m pretty sure “an actor” who was the North Korean “general” was Margaret Cho…

  4. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are two of the least funny people in the world. And there is NOTHING worse than an unfunny female comic trying to dress up like sex symbols, like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler try to do at these award’s shows.

    I cringed every time I saw the promos while watching football. Actually had to turn the channel for 30 seconds (not kidding). These two are not funny.

    The piling on in regards to the Bill Cosby stuff is a joke. They only reason they are doing it is because they know that Bill Cosby can’t help them, and that he will be a non-factor in the industry. Where were these people when Mel Gibson was going off? I mean, there were a few who were outspoken, but you could count them on one hand. And where were they when ALec Baldwin was on tape calling his daughter a pig. I don’t think anyone said a word about that at all.

    I used to really get into the award’s show stuff, and all of the Hollywood glitz and glamour. But losers like George Clooney are really turning me off. This guy is the most gutless person on the planet. It doesn’t take a lot of guts to take a stand against the Paris Terrorists. I mean, if anything, those who are famous should avoid saying anything, as there are enough people to do that. It is like picking a 10 point favorite to win a football game outright. There is no reason to ever say it.

    The industry is filled with scumbags, and all of the money comes from the working people by way of advertising dollars. They are leeches. Think about it. Companies pay for advertising on television, and therefore people by TIDE for 4 times the price of the generic brand (which has the exact same chemicals). These advertising dollars flow to the networks, and those networks put on crap shows like EVERY SITCOM ever made. It is the same thing for the movies.

    The real action is in the NFL. The stories are real. Even golf, and watching the Majors, along with Tiger’s struggles, these are all much more real personal stories and dramas.

    Think of the NFL and how important a touchdown is to everyone, form bettors to players, to casual fan. More turnovers happen at the one yard line than any other place, believe it or not. Football has it right. If they kept score like soccer most games would end up 3-2, and a high scoring game would be something like 5-4, and that wouldn’t happen often. They don’t score much more than soccer does, but 28-21 sound more exciting than 4-3.

    And Angelina sucks, and is the biggest fraud of all-time. Jennifer Aniston is not even a real person. Gwyneth Paltrow is ugly, yet she was People Magazine’s most beautiful person in 2013….haha.

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