Who Else Yells at the TV ?

WHO ELSE YELLS AT THE TV?

Recently, Ken Kubey posted here on Facebook that he watches sporting events and occasionally yells at the television. I confessed that I also do this. I expect many of you sometimes yell at the TV, too.

I don’t know this for sure, but my guess is the same people who yell at TVs also scream at bad drivers. Blasting the jerk who cuts you off in traffic when you’re in a hurry with a slew of profanity is a participatory sport. A workout. Not Club Med, but “Club Mad.” These most deserving targets of our rage can’t hear our rants, of course (not unless the window is rolled down–and I sometimes roll my window down just to make sure they CAN hear me), but it still feels good to let our emotions all hang out.

What I want to learn here is — how many of you scream when watching…..not just the TV……but the news? Especially lately, if you know what I mean. How many of us yell at politicians while they’re speaking? Or, during an interview, or a talk show?

I think the percentage of screamers is much higher than you think.

Admittedly, I’ve always been a demonstrative person, unafraid to express an opinion (other words for this mental condition include — jerk, asshole, prick, etc.). If you’re posting on social media, well — welcome to the club. As I said, Club Mad. Please cast me in the next Mad Men.

A few nights ago, I walked into the living room and caught Marieta yelling at the TV. Huh? What? She’s usually pretty calm. Yin and yang. A show was on that made her mad about something. Maybe it was a plot hole–plot holes make me furious, too. I hate plot holes. So, she lapsed into her own primal instinct and ended up arguing with the fictional characters in a make-believe movie for the next 20 minutes until the credits rolled, and then she still talked about what was wrong with the movie into the next show. I was so proud of her. Nice work. Mission accomplished.

Some TV shows are so jaw-dropping bad I can’t even watch them around other people. Marieta loves Ancient Aliens, and far worse than that — Skinwalker Ranch, which is not just a bullshit pseudo-scientific joke, but worse than that–a SERIES, with multiple seasons. They haven’t found any extraterrestrials in the middle of northern Utah yet (notice to aliens–if you flew 89,000,000,000 light years to visit a ranch in the middle of Utah, let’s dispel the illusions of your superior intelligence), but somehow the show is now on its 25th episode and third season. Marieta won’t even let me stay in the same room when that show comes on. It’s louder and more vulgar than a bad NFL betting Sunday.

Yellers. Screamers. Electronic boxes. Fictional characters. Athletes and politicians who can’t hear us and wouldn’t listen anyway. Even art is performative. We’re all subject to corrosive persuasion. Everything’s become interactive. Consumer society has been transformed from passive detachment (remember what is was like watching television and movies many years ago–audiences were polite…..they never talked!) to active engagement and direct interaction today. We’re now not just *part of the game.” We’re in the game. We’ve become part of the movie, the worst supporting actors in a television show.

Yes, it’s all about us. Even though most of us have never met them, we refer to athletes and movie stars by their first names (not me, I hate that). Hell, even the days of the week belong to you and me. My local weatherman says, “here’s your Wednesday weather.” Wow, it’s not only my Wednesday. The weather even belongs to me!

Okay then, Mr. Weatherman: Make it 72 degrees year-around! I’m going to start yelling at the weather report and see if it does anything. If that doesn’t work, then I’ll go outside and start yelling at clouds.

That will show them.

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