My Thoughts About Road Rage
A terrible tragedy happened in Las Vegas yesterday. It was senseless. Stupid. Totally unnecessary.
The result: A dead 11-year-old boy and a murder charge.
The reason: Road rage.
Two drivers got into a dispute. The reasoning, or lack thereof, doesn’t matter. Two cars were driving on a city highway early in the morning. Then, with no warning, something happened between them triggering a back-and-forth clash that ended abruptly when one of the drivers produced a handgun. He fired a shot at the other driver. The bullet blasted through the car window and hit a child who was sitting in the back seat being taken on his way to school. The shooter was later identified and arrested. The boy was pronounced dead.
Most of us who drive encounter these potentially dangerous situations daily — and what I mean here is *road rage*. I think this is a particularly bad problem here in Las Vegas, which is a city with more risky behavior, a higher degree of eccentricities, a somewhat transient population, combined with a general sense of personal entitlement by many.
Though I never would have done something as crazy as firing a gun, I admit to being a road wage warrior in my years past. It’s not something I’m proud of. But I used to yell at other drivers often, flip the middle finger, honk the horn, and behave pretty much like a jerk. *Get out of my way! I got places to go and people to see!* Maybe it’s getting older (and a little wiser). Whatever the reasons, I softened over the years and now am pretty laid back when it comes to driving. The big turning point for me was listening to a podcast about five years ago, oddly enough, while I was driving. It was a moment when I changed, and I can still remember how profound the revelation was to me and how it altered my thinking and behavior. In wake of this local tragedy and the worsening problem of road rage, right now seems like a good time to share my experience. Maybe it will even help someone, or save a life.
Sam Harris was interviewing a psychologist on his excellent podcast titled “Making Sense.” Unfortunately, I don’t remember the name of the guest. The topic being discussed were the ways people cope with conflict and the manner in which we manifest anger and frustration. Harris is really big into meditation and this was one of his constructive responses to the pressures of daily life.
At one point in the conversation, Harris began talking about road rage and how common it is, particularly in Los Angeles where he lives. I began listening more closely and even found myself shaking my head (in disagreement). But then the more they talked, the more I became aware of a very different — far more healthy and constructive perspective — and I changed my mind within perhaps only 4 to 5 minutes of the discussion. I even found myself nodding in agreement by the time the point had been made.
Harris advised that when another driver cuts us off in traffic or does something we perceive violates our space and rights–just let it go. Even if the other driver becomes belligerent and does something that offends us–just let it go. If the other river honks, yells, and flips you the middle finger–just let it go.
Paraphrasing here, but I can still pretty much hear most of the conversation and recall his words in my head, even years later. Such was the impact. Harris noted that we never know what is going on in the other person’s mind, or LIFE at that instant.
You never know when someone’s final straw will come, the one that finally breaks the camel’s back. It could be something small, like making an awkward lane change on the road. You never know what triggers their rage behind the wheel, or incites other sudden fits of anger in someone who is completely anonymous to us yet who now is engaged in potentially violent conflict. What matters is — someone you don’t know and have never met is dealing with *something*. Maybe it’s a family conflict. Maybe it’s a painful divorce. Maybe a job loss. Maybe a death. Maybe a serious financial setback. Maybe an illness. Maybe a reaction to their medication. There are innumerable triggers in all of our lives, and our society does a piss poor job teaching the options on how to cope with troubles. We never know what happened earlier that made a driver reach a BREAKING POINT.
While we cannot solve the problems in the other person’s life, we most certainly can try to avoid making their anger and frustrations much worse. No act of rage was ever solved with MORE RAGE. Escalation isn’t good for anyone. Not for them. Not for us. Rage only makes a problem worse. Perhaps even violent or deadly.
So, just let it go.
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