RETURN OF THE DOS EQUIS GUY:
THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD IS BACK!
During yesterday’s NFL Conference Championship games, the Dos Equis guy made his comeback!
I looked it up. He’s been on a TEN-YEAR hiatus. His last commercial was back in January 2016.
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Read: MAGA’s Cracker-Barrel Meltdown
Why let things go quietly when you can make them die violently?
Imagine struggling in the modern world as such a pathetic little snowflake that you get all weepy-eyed and overly-sensitive over a company logo and sign.
Seriously?
It’s a logo, people!
Hey, you MAGA hillbillies, try this: Calm the fuck down. Nobody’s going to yank away your basket of buttermilk biscuits and giant platter of pork sausages. Deep breaths, okay? There are still plenty of dusty American flags and old-timey shotguns hanging all over the walls in every Cracker Barrel restaurant. Rocking chairs are there in the front porch waiting area. Sit down, shut up, and slurp on a pecan roll.
You can still feel safe, little snowflakes.
#MAGAMorons
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RIGHT ON TARGET !
Read: As Target Names New CEO, Stock Tumbles 10% As DEI Hit And Tariffs Drag On Sales
Don’t let the automatic door hit you in the ass on your way out, you overpaid leech.
Target’s bloodsucking CEO, who was somehow paid a whopping $77.5 million in compensation only a few years ago for running a bunch of tidied up K-Marts, got the pink slip. Drop off your red vest at personnel, Brian. And, there will be some papers for you to sign when you pick up your final check. Oh, and the unemployment office opens at 9 am Monday morning.
Hit the fucking bricks, pal!
Brian Cornell, the corporate barnacle who gleefully took his cut out of each bottle of bleach and speck of laundry detergent with every customer purchase, made the catastrophic decision to end Target’s diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) programs, which triggered an ongoing customer boycott nationwide. Nice going!
The company was also slammed financially in the midst of Trump’s destructive tax-hike tariff’s, which are now beginning to ripple-rock the economy and hurt consumers. Oh, and CEOs apparently, too.
You know the old saying–what goes around comes around.
Quote:
“Target said people were scaling back spending over worries about the impact of tariffs and the state of the economy. The company also said customer boycotts affected sales.”
Now Brian, let me use a popular line from your favorite reality-TV show president:
YOU’RE FIRED !
#sweetjustice
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I admit to loving and laughing out loud at this terrific Emirates Airlines commercial. I mean, c’mon — who hasn’t TAKEN A SHOWER! on an airplane? *
This is right up there with the hedonism of Led Zeppelin installing a fireplace on their jumbo jet.
Attention SNL: Needs to be parodied, but use Melissa McCarthy.
WATCH HERE (short-15 sec. version)
___________
* do not try this on Southwest.
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GRADING THE BIDEN PRESIDENCY:
COMMUNICATIONS
This may seem an odd issue to grade, but it’s vitally important. No agenda can advance without effective communications.
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