Naming Rights (and Naming Wrongs)
NAMING RIGHTS (AND NAMING WRONGS)
The appalling name change from THE KENNEDY CENTER, as it’s been officially known for the past 58 shining years, to the “TRUMP KENNEDY CENTER” would be laughable if it were not so nauseating.
In Washington, things are going from bad to worse.
A vast number of popular artists and would-be ticket buyers already are boycotting the nation’s once-prestigious performing arts center on the Potomac, due to the politicization of what’s always been a non-partisan attraction. In a shocker that shouldn’t be a shock at all to anyone who’s been paying attention to this toxic era of national insanity, earlier this week, Trump’s hand-picked stooges decided to bestow naming honors to the current occupant of the White House. Wow, who could have guessed! What were the odds? This desecration is undeserving, unprecedented, unbecoming, unnecessary, and (I predict) utterly certain to be reversed sometime right after Jan. 20, 2029. Prepare for a bath of sandblasting, acid washing, and name scrubbing to come. Trump has about as much artistic and musical influence and good taste as the killer shark in Jaws.
Our culture no longer inspires nor honors the highest virtues of accomplishment. It worships money. It will sleep with the highest bidder. It’s bad enough that our place names and building structures are pimped out for sale and go to companies with no connection to the place nor what goes on there. Just look at the names of college bowl games (this year–Duke’s Mayo Bowl, Cheez-It Citrus Bowl, etc.). Indeed, sticking with sports, the best — correction: *worst* — examples of this are stadiums. Despite almost always being bankrolled with public taxpayer money, these shrines are plastered with the names of giant corporations, only to subject to change after a contract expires and then to be renamed for another unrelated giant corporation. The signs shouldn’t be made of fancy lettering–it should be a giant whiteboard with a felt-tip marker.
Fuck this. Screw it all. I’ve never gone along with this travesty — and I refuse to write or list ANY corporate stadium names in my own writings. The only exception to my rule is “Enron Field,” that stain of embarrassment in located downtown Houston. The Astros named their baseball stadium after a thieving heap of dung which turned out to be a shady energy company. Now, the shit shall forever stick as long as that building exists. They broke it, they bought it. They changed the name to an orange juice company afterward and now it’s under its FOURTH stadium name in 15 years, which is enough to make MapQuest throw in the towel. As for other stadiums, those we know best will always simply be the SuperDome, Mile High Stadium, Fenway Park, Madison Square Garden, which predictably has become the name of its own corporation). Just call the stadium the easy-to-remember name of the host sports team. Dodger Stadium. Done deal. Maybe Draft Dodger Stadium would fit if Trump wants to be involved sometime in the future. Okay, I’ll concede Wrigley Field, named after the Chicago chewing gum guy. If a stadium reaches 100 years under the same name, I’ll give that a pass. At this rate, The Astros will be on their 19th stadium name by the year 2100.
My outrage against *politicizing* the names of places is completely non-partisan. Want proof? Remember, I spoke out and wrote multiple articles in protest of the Las Vegas Airport being renamed for the corrupt late former Nevada Senator, Harry Reid. Remember Democrat “Dirty Harry” Reid? That scumbag? The decision to honor him at this level was outrageous. Reid was a vile individual, certainly a polarizing public figure, and utterly undeserving to be given that high-profile of an honor. Even if somehow you liked and supported Reid, it’s preposterous to slap his name on one of the nation’s busiest transportation hubs, and it’s become the first attraction 40 million annual visitors see when they come to our city. LAS VEGAS INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT it is, and heretofore forever shall be. Note: I was glad to see the old white racist “McCarran” removed from the former signage, but replacing the name with “Reid” is just as bad. It’s almost on the travesty level of cramming TRUMP’s name next to KENNEDY.
Now, things have really gone crazy. Currently, initiatives are underway in many cities and states to rename popular places — including parks and public buildings — after Charlie Kirk, which makes about as much sense as honoring the Chucky Doll. But, this is the crackpot madness unleashed upon us, that we’ve brought upon ourselves with stupidity like Harry Reid Airport and Trump Center for the Performing Arts. Hint: When half the population REFUSES to go along with the new name, then it’s a REALLY BAD IDEA. Another example from my own past–When I lived in Washington for more than a decade and lived less than a mile away from the actual terminals (I could walk to the airport), NOBODY called it “Ronald Reagan Airport.” I mean, NO ONE. It was then, and now to the national capital region….”National Airport.” Reagan has/has his place. It wasn’t THERE (and he gutted funding for transportation and airline safety, by the way–the cruelest irony.).
Let’s also agree that many cities do get it right. Viola! LaGuardia Airport — absolutely perfect. New York’s greatest mayor. Louis Armstrong Airport — music to my ears and an air temple for New Orleans. Even John Wayne Airport — I’m no fan, but it fits that very conservative demographic in Southern California. Be careful, though — “Orange County” where that airport is located sure sounds like a budding opportunity for another big name change to come. ORANGE? Hmmm. Can “Trump Orange County” be too far off?
Trump Kennedy Center. Trump Orange County. Hell, start renaming the churches, too. Sell it all off. No, instead — what we really should rename are all the trash dumps and sewer plants. Call it the Trump Landfill. The Trump Trash Dump. The Trump Wastewater and Sewage Treatment Facility. The perfect name, and the perfect dishonor. Heck, they might even become MAGA tourist attractions.
