My Advice for Stand-Up Comedians

Most people aren’t funny.
By this, I mean people who are not professional stand-up comedians. In other words, unless you are paid frequently to tell jokes and entertain total strangers while standing beneath a bright spotlight, then zip it, okay? While there’s a real comedian onstage talking, please keep your thoughts to yourself. Don’t interrupt the performer. Got that?
Here, let me try and make myself a little more clear:
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
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