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Posted by on Dec 6, 2012 in Blog, Rants and Raves | 4 comments

Idiotic Fortune Cookies

 

 

Look at this lunacy!

I just finished my dinner at the Chinese Restaurant called “Fortunes,” located at Harrah’s Rincon, near San Diego.  As is customary with all Chinese meals, the curtain call of the dining experience is opening the traditional fortune cookie.

Well, look at mine.

How in the hell do I open up my fortune cookie and receive a message like this?

BOATS AND WATER ARE IN YOUR FUTURE.  HAVE FUN!

Huh?

Boats and water?  In my future?  Have fun?

I live in Las Vegas in the middle of the desert, for Crissakes!  Water?  Boats?  Where?  And how can they be in my future?  It’s the middle of freaking December.  And for those of you who might ask — no, I am not taking a cruise nor have I ever been on a cruise ship.  I don’t like boats.

Sometimes I think fortune cookies are just plain full of bullshit.

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Posted by on Dec 6, 2012 in Blog, Personal | 5 comments

My Walmart Credit Card Application

Nolan Dalla Humor

 

 

Like most people, I receive unsolicited credit card offers, on occasion.

Whether we like them nor not, credit cards have become a modern-day necessity.  So, I try to maximize their purchasing power by using them to accumulate free airline mileage or bonus cash.

Just about every major retailer now offers either a Visa or MasterCard.  I even received an offer from PetSmart, recently.  PetSmart!  I declined their generous offer.  Sorry kitties, I’m not paying a 23 percent annual interest rate so you can stockpile a cabinet full of Pounce and Whiskas.

The most insulting credit card offers I’ve received are usually by the bottom feeders, which are banks that prey upon the financially insolvent.  These are nothing more than seedy loan sharks masquerading as a major financial institutions.  A typical offer includes a low credit line (sometimes as low as $500), a ridiculous interest rate (typically 29 percent), a preposterous number of penalties if you dare miss a payment or exceed the credit line, and a whopping annual fee.  These dope dealers essentially prey upon the vulnerability of millions of desperate people — including millions of unemployed or under-employed Americans — taking advantage of those who are least able to afford bondage to the banking industry.

When I get these offers in the mail, I have a ritual.  Here’s what I do.

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