The Blame Game
HI, I’M GEORGE W. BUSH, REMEMBER ME?
Hi, I’m George W. Bush, 43rd president of the United States. Remember me? I used to be “the deciderer.”
–I’m the guy who launched a full-scale war and land invasion into a backward, hostile country that has never been conquered in more than 2,000 years.
–I’m the guy who boasted “Mission Accomplished” during the war’s first week, unaware that my monumental blunders would last for another two decades and ruin countless lives here and there.
–I’m the guy who sent 500,000 American troops into combat like chattel down a chute, with no clear military objective.
–I’m the guy who never came close to capturing the target (Osama bin Laden), which I lied about and said was the whole point of the Afghan invasion in the first place. Oh, I heard they found him later in Pakistan. I think that’s a whole ‘nother country. Oops!
–I’m the guy who decided smack-dab in the middle of the Afghan War when resources were already strained to pivot 1,800 miles to the west and invade ANOTHER desert country, which had nothing at all to do with 9/11 or international terrorism. I even lied to the American public and told the world they were out to get us, even though they weren’t.
–I’m the guy who was responsible for more than 2,000 soldiers who left as brave young men and women and returned home in coffins in a totally pointless, unwinnable war. Oh, and at least another 35,000 brave Americans were permanently maimed and scarred for life under my orders, not counting PTSD, and at least a dozen ex-military suicides a day.
–I’m the guy who blew well over a trillion dollars of YOUR TAX MONEY on my watch alone, then bitched and moaned for years about “federal deficits.”
–Oh, and see this guy right behind me? He was pumping his fist every step of the way. Chickenhawk Dick never met a war he didn’t want others to fight. I’m sure that sweet $20 million bonus he made in a single payment at Halliburton had nothing at all to do with his “enthusiasm.”
Remember me now?
Oh, wait. There’s more! Near the end of my presidency, I skullfucked the economy so bad with de-regulations, faux trickle-down sheep mush, and defanged our banking laws that the entire world plunged into a near Depression.
But hey, nobody talks about *MY* clusterfuck of a presidency right now, do they?
Every Republican and conservative in America seems to have amnesia. It’s like they never heard of the Bush years, even though they all voted for me and cheered the war like it was a game at the Sugar Bowl. And get this–right now–they actually think JOE BIDEN is the one who fucked up in Afghanistan even though he near miraculously airlifted 120,000 personnel out in just two weeks. They give him no credit at all for finally delivering on the promise to end the maddening catastrophe that I, the death merchants, and the neo-con warmongers started and continued in the longest war in American history. Can you believe it!?!?!?
Gee, I sure fooled you all.
