I fight authority, authority always wins.
Well, I fight authority, authority always wins.
Well, I’ve been doing it since I was a young kid.
And I come out grinnin’
Well, I fight authority, authority always wins.
— John Cougar Mellencamp
It’s fun to beat the system.
Living in Las Vegas, we all want to beat the system. Not just with advantage gambling, but beating the system. That’s the ticket. Beating the man. That’s the play. It’s all in the game.
Trouble is, beating the system is tough. Lately, it’s certainly gotten tougher. Some say beating the system is now next to impossible.
Well, yesterday I beat the system. I won. I did something that I’m not supposed to do and I got away with it.
Sure, every game is rigged. Everything has a vig. Every step you take, each breath you make has become a shakedown. Every hotel includes sneaky add-ons and extra charges. What’s the first thing the busboy asks in the restaurant before you’ve even seen the waiter? Still or sparkling. Even getting a glass of water includes a shakedown. Recently, one bartender tried to charge me extra for ice. For ice! The Strip is one giant funnel-shaped casino cattle chute.
Accordingly, I’ll take a win any way I can get it. Any win. And that means screwing the casino out of its exorbitant and tourist-gauging parking fees. Parking for free where I’m not supposed to and getting away with feels as good as robbing a bank without a mark and a gun. And besides, I can’t steal the soap and towels out of their overpriced hotel rooms anymore, because I don’t stay in $400-a-night hotels. So, instead, I’ll nail their greedy corporate asses in the parking garage and then do my touchdown dance.
Small victories add up.
Some gutsy people have become absolute masters at beating the system. The very best-worst violator is a longtime friend and fellow sports gambler who shall remain unidentified for reasons which are about to become obvious. He drives around to sportsbooks daily and “beards” big bets for a wagering syndicate. That means he makes large sports wagers for other investors. Thing is, “the Beard” doesn’t want to park 7 floors up in a parking structure and carry large sums of cash through a casino garage at night. So, he bought a counterfeit handicapped placard that he hangs from the car mirror. That way, he can park in the handicapped places and run inside and make his bets. It sure looks real. It even has the punchout date, which makes his placard “valid” until November 2029. He’s thinking ahead. I asked my friend how much the illegal counterfeit placard cost and he said $500. Hearing all this was very upsetting, of course, especially since the counterfeiter didn’t have another spare available for purchase.
My win wasn’t as grand nor as risky and it happened yesterday when I drove down to The Strip to have lunch. The lines in and out of parking garages were jam-packed because there’s something in town going on called the World Series of Poker. I got super lucky and found a secret spot to park. I didn’t even have to pay. The idea of outfoxing the casino was sweeter than winning a sports bet and cashing the ticket.
So, here’s the secret. Here’s the spot where you can park for free on the Las Vegas Strip. When driving on Las Vegas Blvd, turn onto Flamingo which is in between the Cromwell and the Horseshoe (formally Bally’s), and then head eastbound. Stay in the right-hand lane. Then, when you … See more