The Mother’s Joy faux-Raisin Bran ruined my night!
Look at this imposter!
That’s not “Raisin Bran!”
That’s a fake! A phony! A bait and switch! A con act! A screw job!
This crummy breakfast cereal cost $1.79. That alone should have been a red flag. Good fresh cereal doesn’t cost less than two bucks. Ever! I should have known the shit cereal would fuck me! I should have realized that no cereal priced that cheaply can possibly be any good!
The actual Kellogg’s product I thought I was buying usually costs about $4.50 a box. But I got jacked over because of the packaging. The phony cereal sure as hell looks the same as the real Raisin Bran product, doesn’t it?
Here, you don’t believe me? Take a look for yourself! Look at it! You tell me if the shit raisin bran isn’t pulling a fast one over on the consumer. Compare the two boxes side by side. They look the same!
See what these fuckers are trying to do to everybody! I think they intentionally want to confuse people like me.
Here’s how they operate.
First, they paint the shit box the exact same color. Of all the colors they could pluck out for their packaging, they mimic the exact same unusual purple as Kellogg’s brand. A mere coincidence? I don’t think so!
Next, they put basically the same picture on the front of the box. If I’m looking at that, it looks the same to me.
WELL, IT ISN’T! THE FAKE RAISIN BRAN TASTES LIKE SHIT!
The similarities don’t end there. For one thing, the RAISIN BRAN lettering is the same colors — black outlined by white. If you’re casually strolling down the shopping aisle in a grocery store not paying attention, it’s easy to instinctively reach for the shit box, instead of the real breakfast cereal that everyone enjoys. Because they look the same! Only later when you get home, do you then realize you’ve been conned!
Look at this travesty. The shit product is called “Mother’s Joy.”
“Mother’s Joy,” my ass!
When I popped open the “Mother’s Joy,” I was expecting Kellogg’s. Fresh bran. Nice chewy raisins that were plentiful. Two scoops! Not one fucking scoop! TWO SCOOPS!
What did I taste instead?
The bran was stale and what few raisins were packed inside the box were more like gummy bears. I had to use the water pick after I wolfed down three full bowls and even woke up Marieta. That’s what I get for eating cereal at 2 am.
The Mother’s Joy faux-Raisin Bran ruined my night! And Marieta’s, too.
I’m warning you people. Let this be a lesson to the entire world.
Don’t get fooled into buying the shit raisin bran!
I won’t get fooled again!
FOOTNOTE: As to why I would devour three full bowls, it was 2 am and there was nothing to eat in the house at that hour. Plus, I thought it was me, and not the cereal. Then, after the third bowl, I thought to myself — “that tasted like shit.” Plus, my teeth were covered in gooey raisins. Oh, and another thing. I NEVER BUY FOOD PRODUCTS AT THE DOLLAR STORE. NEVER! The product was not expired. It was shit. It was called MOTHER’S JOY and I highly recommend you stay away from it!