Pages Menu
TwitterFacebooklogin
Categories Menu

Posted by on Feb 27, 2021 in Blog, Movie Reviews | 5 comments

Worst Gambling Movies #23 (The Cooler)

 

 

My writing series, “Worst Gambling Movies of All Time” continues with #23 — “The Cooler.”

Title and Year:  The Cooler (2003)   

Director:  Wayne Kramer

Actors:  William H. Macy, Maria Bello, Alec Baldwin  

Synopsis:  A loser goes to work for a casino mobster and gets assigned to jinx the hot gamblers, but then he falls in love with a cocktail waitress and trouble ensues.   

 

Here’s a question:

Would a woman who looks like this….

maria-bello

 

….fall in love with a broke loser living in a cheap room who looks like this?

 

Okay, so not everyone’s superficial.  Maybe there actually is a hot and single cocktail waitress someplace on the prowl for studs like Jerry Lundegaard

Another question:

Does this look like Las Vegas to you?

 

This is supposed to be Las Vegas, where the movie I’m reviewing here purportedly takes place.  Hmm.  Doesn’t look like Las Vegas to me.

And now, a final question:

Unless it’s an Adam Sandler bomb movie, would you buy into the premise that there’s such a thing as a “cooler” who works for a big casino to go around to tables and jinx the action, turning winners into losers?

Come to think of it, that would explain why casinos seem to win all the time and tourists often leave town busted.

Stretching credibility way beyond the breaking point is one thing, and even forgivable when done for the right reasons, but the trouble with The Cooler is that it doesn’t quite know which of two films it truly wants to be — a comedy farce or a heavy-handed drama.  That confusion can be seen here in two examples.  First, watch the official trailer which makes the film out to be funny and lighthearted:

 

Then, watch an actual scene from the film about 3 minutes long, which is more like what happens during most of the movie:

 

Not to spoil all the fun, but the young couple in the scene shown above gets beat up pretty badly in the backroom.  There’s a lot of beatings in this movie.

Ha.  Ha.  Are we laughing yet?

The Cooler is a divisive movie.  Many gamblers love it, while many others hate it.  Put me into the latter category.

Yet, there are some things to enjoy.  For instance, the cast — William H. Macy, Maria Bello, and Alec Baldwin (who received his only Oscar nomination for this role) playing the heartless casino boss — are excellent.  And, we get to see Paul Sorvino in a couple of scenes.  So, there’s that, too.  No casino movie gets a stamp of approval without Paulie rolling in the credits.

 

But beyond that, umm, uhh, well….

This movie really sucks!

Filmed in a casino in downtown Reno undergoing renovations at the time, The Cooler supposedly takes place in Las Vegas.  Reno might work as a movie-location stand-in for people who live in Des Moines, but to anyone who’s even remotely familiar with the real Strip or Fremont Street, the scenery smells as fake as the beef in a burrito at Taco Bell.  At least the visuals shot from the air showing downtown could have used Las Vegas footage.  What next, Toronto substituting for New York?  That would be crazy (wink, wink).

The plot makes no sense since we don’t buy into the premise of the lonely cocktail waitress with the heart of gold falling for the cat-scratched loser sporting a 6 haircut who wears a brown suit.  Oh, let’s also add that he’s got the personality of a mop.  Once the cooler (Macy) hooks up with the hottie (Bello), his invisible powers begin to vanish.  Guy sounds like a real catch, huh?

The old-time casino boss doesn’t like winners in his joint, so the cooler gets called in like a relief pitcher out of the bullpen to kill lucky streaks.  But when the cooler loses it, the plot thickens.  Lots of “fucks” get shouted — 101 in a 100-minute movie according to IMDB.  Many people get beat up, though most of them deserve it.  But we do get to see Maria Bello nude in a few scenes, so that’s plenty enough to keep us interested.  Meanwhile, ladies — enjoy Mr. Macy in his birthday suit.  You, dog, you.

Incredibly, The Cooler was a hit and turned a nice profit.  Budgeted at only $4 million overall, the film smashed that figure at the box office then went on to make another $35 million on video and DVD.  Seriously?  Is there anyone who really bought The Cooler on video so they could watch it over and over again?

Oh, I get it.

Bill Macy’s nude scenes.  That explains it.

Worst Gambling Movies

#24 – The Big Town (1987)

#25 – My Daughter’s Secret Life (2001)

Best Gambling Movies

#23 – Molly’s Game (2017)

#24 – Owning Mamowny (2003)

#25 – House of Games (1987)

TAG: Worst movies about gambling
TAG:  Nolan Dalla writings

5 Comments

  1. Howdy Nolan! I notice that you are summarizing the complete good and bad lists on the bottom of each recent review. You have #25 listed at House of Cards instead of House of Games, but the link is correct. Thanks so much for these reviews! I am checking it daily for the next review and adding the movies to my watch list.

    • NOLAN REPLIES:

      Thanks for the edit. Will correct.

      🙂

      — ND

  2. Funny thing about being a cooler… Years ago, when I was doing a story for LA Magazine on the Ted Binion murder, I was interviewing every person I possible could. I met with a guy named Sid Lewis who used to work at the Horseshoe. He had a bunch of silver coins, wrapped in tin foil, supposedly from Ted’s vault (he gave me one!). He claimed that whenever someone was crushing it at a Horseshoe gaming table, Benny would call in Sid to deal or be a croupier. And then the guy would always hit a losing streak. Old Sid did not tell me if he brought any sleight-of-hand to the enterprise (which, of course, he maybe, maybe did). But, for what it’s worth, I met one of Benny’s former coolers. My guess is that he did not get the hottest chick on the Horseshoe staff…

    • NOLAN REPLIES:

      Great story, Michael. Thanks for sharing.

      — ND

  3. I did a very specific search to find something that talked about the idea of Maria Bello banging William h Macy and I’m glad he wrote this. Thank you.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Best Gambling Movies #22 (29th Street) | Nolan Dalla - […] #23 – The Cooler (2003) […]
  2. Worst Gambling Movies #22 (Lay the Favorite) | Nolan Dalla - […] #23 – The Cooler (2003) […]
  3. Worst Gambling Movies #21 (Uncut Gems) | Nolan Dalla - […] #23 – The Cooler (2003) […]

Post a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

css.php