The Wit and Wisdom of Gareth Edwards (a.k.a. “Gaz the Wolf”)
I present to you — the twisted repartee of Gareth Edwards, a.k.a. “Gaz the Wolf”:
I’m starting a Gareth Edwards fan club.
Chances are, if you don’t know his name and read his stuff already, you’ll pledge to join the fan club once Gareth’s methodical wit and intermittent words of wisdom become more widely circulated. And so today, I’m the leaf blower.
Gareth (@gazthewolf) is an online poker and gaming industry consultant. He was formally the Director of 888poker.com. He writes a blog which can be read here:
Gareth often has lots of people hanging around him, including many beautiful women, which can only mean one of two things — either he’s buying, or he’s using that phony English accent again.
What kind of deranged mind comes up with what you’re about to read? Perhaps the same sick person who re-posts them.
I present to you — the twisted repartee of Gareth Edwards:
The divorce rate among my socks is absolutely astonishing.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) January 15, 2014
If you have 10 chocolates and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left? 10
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) January 14, 2014
Sleep is my drug. My bed is my dealer. My alarm is the cops. Work is the jail.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) January 11, 2014
Damn, I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 10 years in a row now…
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) January 10, 2014
If Pluto isn’t a planet then midgets aren’t real people.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) January 4, 2014
Retweet this if you’re avoiding family right now.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) December 26, 2013
I wonder if tap dancers ever walk into a room, look at the floor, and think, “I’d tap that.”
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) December 24, 2013
Do you ever go on YouTube just to watch a music video, then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to giraffes?
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) December 8, 2013
I really miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) November 30, 2013
(1) Vodka is made from potatoes. (2) Potatoes are vegetables. (3) Vegetables are good for you. You’re welcome.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) November 30, 2013
I love sleeping so much that it’s the first thing I think about when I wake up.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) November 27, 2013
Kids in the back seat cause accidents, and accidents in the back seat cause kids.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) November 8, 2013
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a command.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) October 23, 2013
2 pac of eminems for 50 cents? Man thats ludacris!
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) October 20, 2013
I hate it when I don’t forward a chain letter and I die the next day.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) October 18, 2013
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my ass, I can’t.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) October 15, 2013
I’m trying to make a Miley Cyrus joke but it’s not twerking.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) October 13, 2013
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Impossible to estimate given the lack of previous data.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) October 10, 2013
Me: Hi can I get a large- Starbucks employee: You mean a venti? Me: Can we not do this.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) October 9, 2013
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song and the artist gets the lyrics wrong.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) October 8, 2013
I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) October 6, 2013
I tried to log in on my iPad. Turns out it was an Etch A Sketch and I don’t own an iPad. Also, I’m out of vodka.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) October 1, 2013
I like my women like I like my coffee…. All over my lap when I’m driving.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) September 30, 2013
If John has 100 pieces of bacon, and he eats 20, what does John have? Happiness. John has happiness.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) September 27, 2013
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) September 27, 2013
What I hate most about Twitter: Is finishing a good tweet, having -1 characters left, and then having to decide which grammar crime to commi
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) September 24, 2013
I love Jesus. He’s born, I get presents. He dies, I get chocolate.
— Gareth Edwards (@GazTheWolf) September 24, 2013
Very fresh and witty.
Nolan don’t you read the internet? The majority of these are taken from internet meme’s…they’re not original! You should have called the article “wit and wisdom of the internet”.