I now realize what I miss the most about the old Las Vegas.
What’s missing can best be summed up in one word — tackiness.
Yes, I miss the tackiness.
Here are 25 things I miss about the old “tacky” Las Vegas:
- I miss the tackiness of free parking and plenty of spaces available just a short walk from the casino.
- I miss the tackiness of noisy casinos and coins dropping loudly into metal trays and people hollering at craps tables and enjoying themselves.
- I miss the tackiness of affordable buffets where I know what I’m looking at and I can pronounce the names of the entrees.
- I miss the tackiness of 99-cent jumbo shrimp cocktails, even if it was mostly packed with ice.
- I miss the tackiness of keno girls coming around to my table and asking if I want to play some numbers.
- I miss the tackiness of having a free photo developed on the spot inside the casino rather than hustlers dressed in costumes who charge $10+ and hassle tourists out on the sidewalk.
- I miss the tackiness of ice-cold longneck bottle beer for 75 cents, plus a quarter tip….and everyone was happy.
- I miss the tackiness of slipping a host $5 and getting the best table in the show or in the restaurant.
- I miss the tackiness of D-list celebrities performing free lounge shows in just about every casino — singing, telling jokes, and doing impersonations. Sometimes they did 4 or 5 shows a day!
- I miss the tackiness of walking from one casino to the next without having to call an Uber.
- I miss the tackiness of 24-hour coffee shops and being able to get a tasty breakfast any time of day or night.
- I miss the tackiness of pioneering casino owners who were so brazen and confident in themselves that they put their real names on the casinos as a matter of pride, rather than corporations run by nameless boring bean counters.
- I miss the tackiness of $19 hotel rooms, which were often comped on the spot if you gave the casino any action.
- I miss the tackiness of hearing people get paged inside the casino and wondering — “gee, is that THE REAL Alan King who’s being asked to pick up the red courtesy phone?” — and it usually was.
- I miss the tackiness of match-play coupons and fun books that compelled you to visit the casino at least once just to get the complimentary draft beer with a hot dog and free no-lose craps bet.
- I miss the tackiness of bartenders pouring an actual shot from a bottle instead of a fountain gun, serving cocktails in real glass instead of plastic, and then comping my drink when I stuck a $20 bill into a video poker machine.
- I miss the tackiness of customer service people addressing me by my actual name and wanting to help me, rather than having to use a kiosk with a player’s card informing me of what I’m entitled to.
- I miss the tackiness of seeing visitors with gamble in their eyes dreaming of a hot streak and hoping to strike it rich
- I miss the tackiness of every bar and restaurant and even most showrooms being free, rather than ghastly overpriced nightclubs with doped-up DJs charging exorbitant entrance fees and cocktails costing $30.
- I miss the tackiness of free attractions….like pirate shows, exploding volcanoes, and white tigers instead of shopping outlets clogging up every available space.
- I miss the tackiness of real restaurants that were part of the casino where comps could be used instead of subleased tourist traps fronted by a TV celebrity chef.
- I miss the tackiness of pit bosses wearing sunglasses indoors with hair-sprayed toupees generously writing out food comps and being genuinely thankful to get tipped a few bucks.
- I miss the tackiness of shows with real musicians who were part of a band, bantering with each other and telling insider jokes instead of pre-recorded audio tracks.
- I miss the tackiness of ladies coming to the gambling tables with free snacks, cigarettes, and cigars. Now, it’s $6 for a candy bar at the gift shop if you want to make the 10-minute walk.
- I miss the tackiness of free valet parking that had your car ready and the AC running within two minutes of exiting the casino.
Bonus: One more — I miss the tackiness of ticket windows and getting same-day seats to world-class entertainment instead of being shaken down with bogus added fees by ticket broker monopolies.
So, was everything way better back in the old days of Las Vegas? No. There were some negatives, too. Smoking was everywhere. The mob ran most casinos. Harassment was common in the workplace. But the customer–and the tourist–and the gambler certainly got a helluva’ better deal for his/her money back then compared to now. Anyone could come to Las Vegas, even on a tight budget, and enjoy what the city had to offer.
Today, the signs are bigger. The Strip is fancier. There have never been more attractions than now. Nevertheless, I still miss the tackiness of the old Las Vegas.