An Ugly Fact: I Went 0-28 in the NFL Last Week (Free Picks!)
I went 0-28 last week in the NFL.
That has to be some kind of record. Hey, I promised extraordinary things would happen at the beginning of the season. Well, I didn’t lie. I certainly delivered!
Zero winners. Twenty-eight losers. My losses totaled $3,300. That’s talent!
Of course, the disaster was entirely due to the breakdown of my squeaky teaser wheel. It ran off the rails and crashed when the Chicago Bears failed to get what should have been an easy win against San Francisco last week. Instead, they lost. Otherwise, I would have picked up about $2,000 in profit, amounting to a $5,300 swing. Fuck Robbie Gould in his ass for missing the last-second field goal! There’s also a huge difference between going 19-9 on the week, versus 0-28 — all because the key team in the wheel failed to cover. But hey….that’s the risk one takes with my favorite betting strategy.
Nonetheless, I do have some big plans. I intend to be the only public handicapper in America who hits 33 percent winners for the season and STILL somehow produces a profit. How so?
Consider this week’s six plays, which were posted earlier on Facebook (Thursday). Note that due to the special Thursday night game, sometimes I post plays/write-ups on that forum (usually because it’s more convenient to do so, especially when I’m out and away, using a mobile device). Anyway, here are this week’s plays, which are anchored by the Arizona Cardinals (which already covered on Thursday night — barely):
This WILL be counted in my season results (at nolandalla.com), which shows about $6,000 left in the account. So, I’ve made SIX $1000 wagers which will EACH pay back $909.009.
AZ -2.5 with PHILA +6
AZ -2.5 with SFO +9
AZ -2.5 with WASH +9.5
AZ -2.5 with ATL +15
AZ -2.5 with GREEN BAY -1
AZ -2.5 with MIA +8.5
I’m hoping to go at least 4-2 on these plays, and would be thrilled to hit 5-1, since that would put me into the black for the season. Seriously, I can’t wait to see Facebook light up like a Christmas tree by end of this season when I’ve got the WORST HANDICAPPING RECORD IN THE COUNTRY, yet still finish ahead of about 98 percent of the betting public. Like I said, my friends, that takes talent. Stay thirsty.
Finally, for the sickos and sadists who are interested in my actually capping the games, here’s my final score predictions. Fade away, chumps!
Cincinnati 31 Pittsburgh 27
Buffalo 24 Philadelphia 20
Carolina 30 Atlanta 13
San Francisco 4 Cleveland 2
Washington 23 Chicago 20
Detroit 34 St. Louis 3
Kansas City 31 San Diego 10
Tampa Bay 41 New Orleans 17
Jacksonville 26 Indianapolis 16
Tennessee 23 New York Jets 20
New England 37 Houston 20
Denver 24 Oakland 13
Green Bay 30 Dallas 16
Baltimore 23 Seattle 20 [Upset Special]
Miami 31 New York Giants 17
NOLAN DALLA — 2015 NFL SEASON RECORD
42 WINS – 80 LOSSES — 3 PUSHES
STARTING BANKROLL: $10,000.
CURRENT BANKROLL: $6,127.
NET GAIN/LOSS: – $3,873.
BEST BETS OF THE WEEK: 8 – 8 – 2
LAST WEEK: 0 — 28 — 0 (-$3,300)
SEASON WIN TOTALS — WAGERS
Pittsburgh Steelers UNDER 8.5 (+115) — wagering $2,000 to win $2,300 7-5
Philadelphia Eagles UNDER 9.5 (-110) — wagering $1,050 to win $1,000 4-7 …..winner
NY Jets UNDER 7.5 (-120 /-135) — wagering $1,275 to win $1,000 7-5
Tennessee Titans OVER 5.5 (-150) — wagering $450 to win $300 3-9
Cleveland Browns UNDER 6.5 (-170) — wagering $510 to win $300 2-10 ……winner