This rant is connected to the debut of this new series posted earlier, which was about “modified exhaust systems” on cars in order to make them sound louder. So utterly stupid and pointless. Now, it’s onto motorcycles.
Question: What is it with music blasting from a goddamned motorbike? I just don’t get it. Why?
You’ve all seen it. Assbagger on the motorbike with ED blue-pills himself when he barrels his burst of turbulence into the air each time he changes gears and accelerates. But now, Joyboy’s got blow-out our eardrums at the intersection with his shit music while his chopper idles like a power generator on an offshore drill rig.
Hey pal, try to listen if you can, that is, if you have any hearing left combined with a few brain cells: We can already HEAR you and your bike roaring down the street. Do we really need to have your “music” carpet-bombing whatever remains of our capacity to hear and carry on a normal conversation? Sure, by all means, enjoy your ride! Live to ride and ride to live and all that corny biker bullshit. But your Viperspeakers shouldn’t sound like the start of World War fucking 3. Okay?
What I really don’t get is the idea that someone can actually LISTEN and ENJOY their music when that fatass Big Dog Chopper is already so mind-numbing loud it sounds like the end of the runway at O’Hare on a Friday night. What? Next, you insist on ADDING music to the pandamonium? What next–an air raid siren? I mean, what the actual FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?
Who and why does anyone add a loud stereo system to a motorcycle? Why not just buy a pair of headphones?
Here’s something to ponder: Don’t you want to HEAR traffic around you? Shouldn’t you be on high alert for horns, people yelling, and sounds that might warn you of possible dangers? What if an ambulance tries to pass you by while you’re blasting that dogshit from your bagger? Cars honking to move the fuck over, and you’re riding the waves with the volume cranked up to 9. The poor bastard dies, I suppose. Not you–I mean the guy in the ambulance who expired because you’re preening at the stoplight boppin’ your leatherass to Polo G.
Here’s an idea: Try headphones. Headphones were invented decades ago and they even fit over your ears. Hell, you can buy a pair at the Dollar Store. They even make earphones now that fit INSIDE motorcycle helmets. And here’s the kicker: The music actually sounds BETTER, at least as tolerable as Polo G. can possibly sound, that is.
The guy in the back of the ambulance will still die, of course. But at least you can think you look cool.
